I summon thee

Gabri

Gabri

m8
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    Imagine a satanic-style ritual that summons YOU. It requires up to five items. What items would be needed for the ritual to succeed? And if you're feeling imaginative, what would be the ritual's procedure?
     
    Reminds me of the Elric brothers

    [PokeCommunity.com] I summon thee



    5 items:

    -sugar
    -goat blood
    -spice
    -everything nice
    -chemical x
     
    a snack
    a book that does not focus on romance, religion, or either world war
    a few yards of interesting fabric (a decent curtain or bedsheet will do in a pinch)
    office supplies
    some sort of pottery

    choose three and place them on each point of a triangle you have drawn on the floor. knock politely inside of the triangle to alert me. i will be keeping all of them as payment for my services, thank you
     
    Last edited:
    hm..
    - Hot cheetos
    - A totally not illegal weed
    - Gasoline
    - Lighter / Flint/ Some kind of incendiary device
    - A medium-sized urn
    - The blood of a lamb

    You start by grinding up a decent amount of the completely (il)legal weed. Dump it in the urn, with the hot cheetos following. Draw an upside down cross with gasoline, light it on fire, put the urn in the fire and dump the lamb blood on top of the urn. Light everything in the urn on fire. I shall appear and grant you one wish that can't be an actual wish.
     
    Items:
    • A piece of technology like a laptop, tablet, portable game system with games (Apple products will anger me; don't use them)
    • A credit card (So I can bill you for time)
    • A fresh, unused tube of bright pink or bright red Lipstick
    • A gallon of Sweet, Iced tea. (Choose the brand carefully)
    • An end of a CAT5e or CAT6 ethernet cable connected to a reliable internet connection OR a slip of paper with the SSID/Password of the nearest WiFi network I can use to connect to the internet.

    The Ritual:
    Place each item on the five points of the pentagram. You must use a permanent marker to draw hearts on your cheeks and hands before you chant to the heavens "Lovely Melody I summon thee!" 77 times.

    When I appear; you must hand me the lipstick. I'll put it on, kiss you on the lips to seal the deal, and take the other items for myself. I only leave behind the credit card when banished after billing you for time.

    To Banish: You must put on some lipstick, Hug me tightly, kiss me on the lips and say "Melody, I release thee"
     
    -A piece of NASCAR merch
    -A Meganium Plushie
    -A bowl of gummi worms
    -A bottle of Stella Rosa wine
    -A laptop

    Process: Mix well in large pot. Accidentally pour Chemical X. Hide from explosion.
     
    - Coffee
    - A pastry
    - a plush Goomy
    - Some spider lilies
    & some seashells

    These are all things I like, so just have them and I'll happily come, eat the pastry, drink the coffee, and hug the goomy plush. You get one favour.
     
    To answer my own query, the ritual to summon me would require:

    - Frostmourne
    - A Jackson Kelly guitar
    - A football (or soccer ball for you weird Americans and such countries)
    - Optics, by Eugene Hecht
    - Kinder chocolate

    For the ritual to succeed, you must first stick Frostmourne in the ground in the center of the pentagram, then rest Optics by Hecht on its blade. Then you must pick up the Kelly and play Megadeth's "Holy Wars...The Punishment Due", including the solos, while doing tricks with the football (all this while facing the book and inside the pentagram's circle). At the end of the song, hold the Kinder chocolate bars above your head, and I will appear, take the chocolate, and be your friend for all eternity.
     
    A from of modern technology, PC, games console etc.
    Chili with Rice
    All 8 Harry Potter films
    A Zorua Plushie
    A Lunar Eclipse

    Smash them together whilst the eclipse is occurring until something happens.
     
    -The password for the most reliable and nearest Wi-Fi connection in your area.
    -A soft and aesthetically pleasing textile that can be used as a blanket.
    -Any flowers, use purple ones for best results.
    -Assortment of imported Japanese goods, carefully select those that are associated with anime, plebian weeaboo merchandise will anger me and you'll get a harsh scolding or a gentle slap.
    -Fruit juice or herbal tea.
    Write the Wi-Fi password on the blanket and gently wrap it around the potted flowers and put the Japanese goods within the blanket folds. Water with the herbal tea and wait until "Bring me to Life" starts blaring into your ears.
     
    -Wool from a hundred sheep
    -Blood (or a bone fragment if not possible)from my favorite political theorists- dead and alive
    -Crate of Buncha Crunch candy
    -Enough manga to last a decade
    -A new computer

    1) First draw the circle and lines and stuff
    2) Evenly sprinkle the Buncha Crunch among the different sectors
    3) Dip the sheep wool in the blood and do the same thing as the candy
    4) Arrange the manga around the circle making a wall
    5) Place the computer in the center
    6) Chant "John Henry is God Emperor" over the course of the duration of "Don't Lose Yourself" by MAN WITH A MISSION
    7) I appear in glory
     
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