This isn't true, the abuse narrative is one spread a lot and mostly is intended to further the idea that gay people are "broken" or like they are because they've been abused or didn't have the right childhood- there's no statistics backing that claim up but it's pervasive because it sounds straight forward, "Oh, they were abused by a man in their childhood, so they don't like men, that makes sense" which is the worst kind of untruth/rumour.
It's sort of a demeaning/devaluing thing, like gay people are a thing to be pitied but being a fringe case don't deserve rights- it makes it easier for people to get into that whole "I'm not homophobic, i feel sorry for them but also they don't deserve to be married or anything" mindset
I dont have much to say here, but thanks for the info. I know that its often used in a demeaning way, but I wasnt sure if the abuse thing was actually valid or not.
I mean... I think it's fairly obvious it isn't a choice, because the implication is that everyone reaches a point of impasse where they make a conscious choice on their sexuality, and that some people choose the one more likely to make their life a living hell and devalue themselves in the eyes of the law and possibly even their own family.
Could you elaborate on choosing who you love, though? I don't really get what you mean, unless you're saying people literally choose who they're attracted to which... i'd disagree with
Sure.
1) Each and every action a human takes is what that person believes benefits themselves.
2) Likewise, people choose to associate with people that increase their own living standards.
3) So when a person wants sex, they choose the most attractive individual. But if they want a long-term relationship where sex is not the only desire, they choose people based on personality traits that mesh with themselves.
I think choosing someone to love is mostly a choice, but can be impacted biologically. For example, people naturally want to reproduce with people smarter, more attractive, more athletic, etc than themselves. However, ultimately, value is subjective. Meaning people will value different people differently. And choose different people based on their subjective valuing system.
So basically, you choose a partner based on your value system. This system can be religious, environmental, etc. That is the natural part. The choosing part is the application, which is why I say its a mix of both.
Now that i actually give this some thought, it explains people's sexualities as well.
Note: This is my own little theory. I haven't actually done any research. But I can testify personally that I choose who I like. Maybe I'm not the rule, but the exception. Maybe I'm just weird. Or Im right. Im open to any of the possibilities.