Is sexual orientation determined at birth?

[curiousnathan]

I think sexual orientation has strong genetic roots; I do believe that a large factor is ones genetic makeup. Whether a person prefers the opposite sex, the same sex or no sex at all etc. However when it comes to who in particular they find attractive I do think choice has a more pertinent role. I can be attracted to someone but choose not to pursue a relationship with them.

 

[Aliencommander1245]

I think sexual orientation has strong genetic roots; I do believe that a large factor is ones genetic makeup. Whether a person prefers the opposite sex, the same sex or no sex at all etc. However when it comes to who in particular they find attractive I do think choice has a more pertinent role. I can be attracted to someone but choose not to pursue a relationship with them.

I don't think legitimate choice has much of a role in sexuality at all, but I feel like you mistyped something in your response there?

You've said who in particular people find attractive has a factor of choice, and then given the example that you can find someone attractive but not pursue a relationship with them- that's not at all a choice in anything related to the attraction, but instead how you pursue that attraction you feel.

 

[curiousnathan]

I don't think legitimate choice has much of a role in sexuality at all, but I feel like you mistyped something in your response there?

You've said who in particular people find attractive has a factor of choice, and then given the example that you can find someone attractive but not pursue a relationship with them- that's not at all a choice in anything related to the attraction, but instead how you pursue that attraction you feel.

Yes, that is what I meant.

 

[Aliencommander1245]

Yes, that is what I meant.

Yeah and you are correct in that, it's that's not particularly related to sexuality as much as it is relationships though

 

[pastelspectre]

I don't think it is, personally. I doubt anyone knows as soon as their born and whatnot and I'm pretty sure everyone has experimented with their sexuality once in their life because they're not sure what it is. I thought I was bisexual for the longest time but I wasn't informed that there was such a thing as pansexuality, where you like someone despite gender. So I'm pretty sure I'm pansexual. Or I could just not label myself and say I like who I like, no labels. I dunno.

 

[Somewhere_]

After thinking about it a bit, I might take back what I said earlier.

Im pretty confused as whether or not love is a choice. It makes sense to me, but feelings aren't really voluntary or chosen. So I think feelings of love or feelings for who one likes are not consciously chosen.

 

[Psychic]

I don't think the answer is either. Sexual orientation is not a choice - if it was, gay conversion therapy would work. We know that because if given the opportunity, a lot of LGBTQ people would have chosen to just fit in if they could have. We've been absolutely awful to that community throughout history and in a ton of cultures. Anyone who believes orientation is a choice has clearly never heard from, for just one example, people growing up in religious backgrounds where their identities were considered shameful, and were put in danger or ostracized for it.

That said, I don't think sexuality is necessarily determined at birth, either. I think it's possible for attraction to change and evolve over time. There are a lot of LGBTQ people who say things like "I used to identify as gay, but now I'm pretty sure I'm bisexual, and I don't feel that this means I was always bisexual." I don't think that's the case for most people, but it doesn't seem all that uncommon.

Sexual preference in terms of things like only being attracted to white people or redheads is a whole other story. A preference is just that; it's influenced by your environment, and thus is subject to change. If you grow up in an environment that mostly only glorifies white people like Western culture does, then it makes sense that this will affect who you find attractive. However, I don't think that means it's right or that it should just be accepted, especially since there's a lot of implicit racism there. That's definitely something I personally had to think about, and I now make a conscious effort to see the beauty in non-white people or non-able-bodied people. (Side note: I personally am happier for this.)

~Psychic

 

[curiousnathan]

I don't think it is, personally. I doubt anyone knows as soon as their born and whatnot and I'm pretty sure everyone has experimented with their sexuality once in their life because they're not sure what it is. I thought I was bisexual for the longest time but I wasn't informed that there was such a thing as pansexuality, where you like someone despite gender. So I'm pretty sure I'm pansexual. Or I could just not label myself and say I like who I like, no labels. I dunno.

I think that's more of an issue with one understanding their sexuality than choosing one.

 

[MattEnth]

I personally think it's a combination. At birth, humans have some sort of "sexuality range" that will be narrowed (or maybe maintained) as they age.

The problem with labels is that they reinforce a notion that sexuality is binary: you're either gay or you're not. I don't think this is actually the case.

But hey, I'm sure this is something that will be intensely studied in our lifetimes. Maybe we'll know the answers in a few years.

 

[pastelspectre]

I think that's more of an issue with one understanding their sexuality than choosing one.

well, yes but i feel like no one really 'chooses' their sexuality, nor is it determined at birth. i'm not sure why i think this..but there's just something that tells me no one knows what sexuality even is when they're born, let alone that they could be able to choose what they prefer/like.

 

[Palamon]

Sexuality is not a choice, no, but I also doubt someone is born their sexuality, either? As Sumire said above, someone wouldn't know their sexuality as soon as they're born, it's about discovering it for yourself. I'm not gonna comment on conversion therapy, though. I see someone brought it up as an example...

 

[gimmepie]

Sexuality is not a choice, no, but I also doubt someone is born their sexuality, either? As Sumire said above, someone wouldn't know their sexuality as soon as they're born, it's about discovering it for yourself. I'm not gonna comment on conversion therapy, though. I see someone brought it up as an example...

If you need to discover it though, doesn't that imply that it's already buried in your psyche somewhere to be found?

 

[Psychic]

If you need to discover it though, doesn't that imply that it's already buried in your psyche somewhere to be found?

If you discover that you have a passion for jazz music, whereas previously you had listened to jazz and had no strong feelings about it, does that mean you always had a deep love for jazz music buried deep down in your psyche?

~Psychic

 

[gimmepie]

If you discover that you have a passion for jazz music, whereas previously you had listened to jazz and had no strong feelings about it, does that mean you always had a deep love for jazz music buried deep down in your psyche?

~Psychic

Perhaps not, but it would mean you had the capacity for such a thing deep in your psyche or an inclination towards the music of specific artists.

 

[Aliencommander1245]

I'm not gonna comment on conversion therapy, though. I see someone brought it up as an example...

I know this is post is a little old, but the only real comment is "Oh, wow, that's literal torture or at least analogous to it"

It's not something that shouldn't be condemned.

 

[Psychic]

Perhaps not, but it would mean you had the capacity for such a thing deep in your psyche or an inclination towards the music of specific artists.

The suggestion that some people have a capacity to like a musical genre deep down all along suggests that the inverse must also be true, and there are people who will never ever have the capacity to like certain musical genres, no matter what they do. That seems pretty outlandish. A far likelier explanation for why people who once didn't like jazz now enjoy jazz is that people's musical tastes change and evolve naturally over time.

We know from psychology that the human brain is incredibly flexible. As far as I'm aware, there are very few instances where the human brain cannot change at all on a given thing - almost any opinion can be swayed, almost any skill can be learned, almost any mind can be brainwashed or broken, etc.

Now, this does not make it ethical to pressure or force someone to try and change (assuming they are not breaking the law or posing a threat as-is). I frankly do not tend to believe someone who identified as LGB but claims to now be straight because there is so much pressure on them to conform and it's easier to tell others and themselves that they're "fixed."

Rather, my point is that it is human to change and evolve over time, and so I don't think it's outlandish to believe sexuality can change and evolve. As I said, there is a large number of queer people saying things like "I used to identify as gay, but now I'm pretty sure I'm bisexual, and I don't feel that this means I was always bisexual," and there is very little reason for them to lie. If not for them, I wouldn't believe it either. We've been told all our lives that being LGBT isn't a choice, and it's something you're born with. I just don't think that's in conflict with the idea that people change.

~Psychic

 

[basicallybeetle]

Sexuality is neither a choice nor an inherited trait, but rather a product of an individual's own preferences, interests, sexual experimentation (if applicable), and sometimes even negative experiences with specific genders. Kind of like general personality and gender identity, there's no one specific reason.

Personally my entire family is very religious, no other non-straight non-cis people within my immediate family. I realized I was bisexual when I learned what it meant. I learned I was nonbinary when I had a word for that. Some people see it as a choice or change, whereas I just finally found a word to describe the way I'd felt for my entire life.

Actually one of the reasons I think there's so many LGBTQ+ people as compared to, say, 30 years ago, is just more media and communities and discussions like this. I didn't even know what bisexuality or transgender was until I was 16 yet it clicked with me immediately. I'd praise the internet for helping me find myself if it wasn't so terrible sometimes too, haha.

 

[Aliencommander1245]

Sexuality is neither a choice nor an inherited trait, but rather a product of an individual's own preferences, interests, sexual experimentation (if applicable), and sometimes even negative experiences with specific genders. Kind of like general personality and gender identity, there's no one specific reason.

Personally my entire family is very religious, no other non-straight non-cis people within my immediate family. I realized I was bisexual when I learned what it meant. I learned I was nonbinary when I had a word for that. Some people see it as a choice or change, whereas I just finally found a word to describe the way I'd felt for my entire life.

Actually one of the reasons I think there's so many LGBTQ+ people as compared to, say, 30 years ago, is just more media and communities and discussions like this. I didn't even know what bisexuality or transgender was until I was 16 yet it clicked with me immediately. I'd praise the internet for helping me find myself if it wasn't so terrible sometimes too, haha.

I'm a little bit interested in why you think it's based on those things you've listed, when your personal experience seems to be that you just didn't know the word for what you were? You've described it like you were always those things, but didn't know how to express it/what it was until you'd learnt of those things which doesn't 100% match up with the first paragraph

 

[basicallybeetle]

I'm a little bit interested in why you think it's based on those things you've listed, when your personal experience seems to be that you just didn't know the word for what you were? You've described it like you were always those things, but didn't know how to express it/what it was until you'd learnt of those things which doesn't 100% match up with the first paragraph

Because people generally can't call themselves bisexual without knowing that the word bisexual exists, basically. Like I mentioned, I grew up under a rock. With more resources available it's easier to find words for what you feel.

Since cis and straight are just assumed to be the default, people typically don't need a word for it to know what it means. A lot of people didn't know they were cis until they saw the word pop up recently, for example. It doesn't make them not cis, it just adds another descriptor.
There's nothing contradictory to finding a word to describe something you feel or have experienced for a long time. Example: you've had anemia your whole life, you know the symptoms, but until someone says "hey have you considered that maybe you're anemic?" then you have your diagnosis. It's obviously a lot more complicated than that but the tl;dr is that words and media and exposure help people find themselves when their upbringing is woefully closed and/or inadequate.

Edit: I wrote this in a rush and realized I might be misinterpreting what you were implying, in which case I'm sorry. >_<

 

[Devil in the Mirror]

Honestly, from my own experiences as well as psychology courses in college, it seems to be cause by both biological and environmental factors. I was interested in other guys as early as middle school, but there weren't any girls I was interested in at all until high school, and it was so vague then I didn't pay it much mind for a few more years. My parents are both straight and have a good relationship with each other. My siblings are straight. In my region, being gay or bi or anything else of that nature is very strongly looked down upon and people do not like the idea of someone being this way. I also don't like being hated. And I never made a conscious decision that "hey, I'm gonna be interested in boys and girls." So I'm pretty sure that there's genetics involved, but other things as well, and regardless, it's definitely not something people will consciously choose in most cases.