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Most Private Thing You'll Admit

I'm terrified of losing any friend, like I really can't stand the thought of a friend just drifting away or whatever.


Its legitimately not easy for me to be around guys anymore. Like I can casually talk to a guy and whatnot but its hard to really open up and be myself around them because I'm afraid of judgement and I'm afraid of getting too attached and I simply just have trouble making a connection to any guy.
Which is really ironic since I consider myself to be bisexual haha.
Its easier for me to interact and get along with girls and I'm not sure why. Its not being perverted or anything, I just find it easier to make friends with girls.


Sometimes even the littlest things can set me off into anything between grim depression or a bloodlust/murderlust that can give me a headache(somebody correct me if bloodlust/murderlust is incorrect; I basicly mean like a serious urge to beat the crap out of and/or just kill somebody). I also bottle the vast majority of my emotions, and its not too easy to get me to open up in person at all.


I can only stand meaningful/deep relationships, nothing based on looks or stuff like that. I only care about your heart and mind, appearance isn't a big deal at all with me.


There's a really high chance I'm genderfluid. So much so that I'd really like to dress in girl clothes.


Anything about my sexuality and whatnot is pretty much hard to come out about so I'll probably be regretting that part of my post for a while hahaha. (I'd greatly appreciate it if this post isn't quoted or anything... it was hard to get this off my chest and I don't wanna deal with whatever s*** storm that could arise from my secrets haha...)


Aaand that's about it. :D
 
I am probably way too nice to everyone as much as I would like to admit, as much as I use profanity and swear almost as much as I can,
and I am probably so corrupted (like the opposite of innocent) that even the lightest and most subtle innuendo mentioned by anybody,
anywhere by anything, I would like get it instantly. But aside from all this I am literally too soft, gentle, caring, sympathetic and kind that
I would just kill you with my kindness.

But if you ever threaten the people I care about, especially if you plan in hurting them in anyway at all, it would be a very,
very bad idea for you to do such thing. Why? It would bring out a part of myself, that you would never ever want to encounter
in your life, even I don't like it when I see him coming out and showing everyone how much of a monster I actually am.
He hurts people. He feels happy when others get hurt. Especially hostiles.

He is a part of me, but anybody knows that I am not a part of him.
 
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If so, then I'll say everything, i mostly get very uncomfortable when i see something hot and good! I mouth gets watery when i see a hot chick but I get scared of saying her anything because girls usually reject boys!
 
Oh the things i've seen....the amount of LGBT people here makes me feel good actually.
I am Bi, but no one in my real life knows that. I have an extremely bad habit of falling in love with girls i consider my friends. I am very shy, haven't talked to a girl until my mom made me on the first day of 7th grade. I rather stay in and shut myself from the world than being with other people, as of right now when i'm typing, i am in my room with the windows closed and shut and my door locked. I am jealus of a girl i consider my best friend because she gets hot guys (yeah im a horrible person i know...). I am a pervert yet i haven't even kissed which makes things weird. I suppress my personality so much, my best friend doesn't really know me. I don't know why, i just feel that online i can be who i am and not who society wants me to be. I get 2-3 days of depression every month or so. I have mathematical anxiety, meaning i can't solve math problems unless i am calm as ****.

I have more, but i don't want to overkill you with my terrible life. :)
 
Oh gosh, this will be interesting..

I have some form of pyschic talent.. so I've been told. It's weird, because to me it's just a matter of paying attention to things and making guesses about it.. and then they actually happen. That being said, I have unusually odd luck sometimes. There's days where I'm always in the right place at the right time, or the worst place possible durring the worst times. People in general give off feelings that I pick up on with only a few sentences spoken. Before you know it, I pretty much figured out if you're harmless or someone I need to keep an eye on.. that being said, I also have something of a social anxiety, and need my alone time to detox so to speak.. it's all too easy for me to come in an try to protect/guide others and totally ignore my own problems.. I also get mentally drained hanging around people all day.

I've also had my own personal ghost experiences working at a slightly active drug store.. at the time I was left wondering the purpose of life, and after my experiences (which didn't really spook me, made me curious) I started reading and gathering information to what I experienced. I come to find out that each book had different theories on the same thing.. and I also came up with my own that I could never prove or disprove.. just things like why ghosts linger, why they sometimes turn on facets and hang from chandeliers and what not. I've come to the idea that dying is a lot like going to sleep.. and they're stuck in this weird semi-awake "sleep walking" state.. which is why they act so crazy sometimes. They aren't fully aware they're doing it. It makes sense, right?

I never really get sad at funerals.. people misunderstand that as me being cold hearted. I just think maybe I know too much and it's hard for me to get worked up on something like that. It's really hard for me to form attachments due to my condition.
 
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Hmm...I have quite a few but my main one is that I have Bipolar disorder, and every day I go through intrusive thoughts and impulsive thoughts that are sometimes hard to control, but I manage. I am on an antidepressant and antipsychotic medication.

I also draw pictures and write stories I never show anyone because I am afraid they are silly...
 
I'm 25, but I act like a child. I'm talking between 6 and 11 years old. I sleep with stuffed animals, or well... anime plushies. I also carry around my plushies where ever I go. I identify myself as an adult child. I am also afraid of the dark. I often have child-like fits, not temper tantrums, but fits. I prefer fits over the term tantrums. Anyway, I also eat baby food, but I just eat the fruit kind because it's the only good thing I really like.

I also have bad teeth. I'm going to end up with dentures before I'm thirty. Mainly, it's because my parents couldn't provide a good positive rolemodelship over brushing. My dad has blamed himself for this too. Also, most of it has to do with my disabilities as well. I had braces once, and I couldn't take care of them because I didn't know how. Thus why I had them taken off early. My teeth got worse and worse, and now we are in the process of finding someone to put me to sleep to get them out. With that said, did I mention that I'm absolutely horrified of dentists?

Oh, and I'm asexual. I'm also bi-curious. I haven't really told anyone about being bi-curious because I'm still not sure if I'm bisexual or straight. It's really complicated for me, but I know that I have a few girl crushes here and there. It's not something I can fully identify as being considered bisexual yet.

I'm sure everyone knows I have high functioning autism, mild to moderate dyspraxia, ADND and severe anxiety, but yeah lol.
 
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I'd say my biggest secret used to be that I was transgender (FtM), buuut that got out for some years, and now days its something I've come to terms with, and I'm okay with my physical gender now. Finally. Couldn't do anything about it, anyway.

As far as being physically female goes, I guess that being a lesbian was something else that I hide. Or at least sugar coated it for a while, and tried to date guys. I can mentally crush on them, but that's about it. I have some friends that weren't aware of that until pretty recently.

Aside from those two things, I guess something that I've never told anyone would be that I'd like to leave every single current thing in my life behind, and start over. Move to a city, get out of the suburbs, and break physical ties with the people that I know. Or rather, I wouldn't mind breaking them. I could still talk to them online, or the phone, which would be good enough for me. I'd like to pick up my life, and do something more with it. I find that as much as I care about people, or love people, I can detach pretty easily and distance myself. I think that's a defense mechanism that's built up over time, since I've gone through a lot in my life. Sometimes it's handy, but it's also annoying, because I wish I could just feel like I needed to with certain things, without having that habit of turning off my emotions to deal with events.
 
Leo Baskerville said:
I'd say my biggest secret used to be that I was transgender (FtM), buuut that got out for some years, and now days its something I've come to terms with, and I'm okay with my physical gender now. Finally. Couldn't do anything about it, anyway.

As far as being physically female goes, I guess that being a lesbian was something else that I hide. Or at least sugar coated it for a while, and tried to date guys. I can mentally crush on them, but that's about it. I have some friends that weren't aware of that until pretty recently.

Aside from those two things, I guess something that I've never told anyone would be that I'd like to leave every single current thing in my life behind, and start over. Move to a city, get out of the suburbs, and break physical ties with the people that I know. Or rather, I wouldn't mind breaking them. I could still talk to them online, or the phone, which would be good enough for me. I'd like to pick up my life, and do something more with it. I find that as much as I care about people, or love people, I can detach pretty easily and distance myself. I think that's a defense mechanism that's built up over time, since I've gone through a lot in my life. Sometimes it's handy, but it's also annoying, because I wish I could just feel like I needed to with certain things, without having that habit of turning off my emotions to deal with events.
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So you identify as a male, yet writing your physical gender as the gender in the profile? Because it says "girl" right there on the top. If you identify yourself as a male, i suggest changing the gender in your profile, so that silly people like me won't be wise-asses and ask you that question.
 
KillerCroCohen said:
So you identify as a male, yet writing your physical gender as the gender in the profile? Because it says "girl" right there on the top. If you identify yourself as a male, i suggest changing the gender in your profile, so that silly people like me won't be wise-asses and ask you that question.
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She used to identify as male but decided that she was okay with her physical gender and now she's cisgender.
 
I believe I'm demisexual. I never really look at guys and think, "oh yeah, gotta get me some of that" and as a result, I used to think I might be asexual. I'm definitely attracted to my boyfriend though, in many ways including sexual, and thinking back, it's always been that way. I'm really only sexually attracted to whoever I'm dating or have strong feelings towards. ...Demisexual is the term for this, right? :P I know I've seen it before! It's not a huge deal obviously, but you know, it's something I've never told anyone here!
 
Kevin said:
OP: I also pull off all my underpants and pants when I do my business... Some childhood habit I guess. But my shirt stays!

Er... Anyways... I would never admit in real life that I go on a Pokemon forum. Omfg.
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It depends on where I am if I will admit that I frequent Pokémon forums. Obviously I won't when I go out trying to meet people but with friends and what not I don't care. What's the worst they're going to do? Pretty much not a first impression thing but something that will come out. I mean I check PC more than my Facebook.
 
Everlark said:
I believe I'm demisexual. I never really look at guys and think, "oh yeah, gotta get me some of that" and as a result, I used to think I might be asexual. I'm definitely attracted to my boyfriend though, in many ways including sexual, and thinking back, it's always been that way. I'm really only sexually attracted to whoever I'm dating or have strong feelings towards. ...Demisexual is the term for this, right? :P I know I've seen it before! It's not a huge deal obviously, but you know, it's something I've never told anyone here!
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That's an interesting term that I've never heard of before and after researching a bit about it, I think relationships should start more like this \: I can somewhat relate to you as I don't find guys to be sexually attractive until I've gotten to know them or developed feelings for.
 
CC said:
She used to identify as male but decided that she was okay with her physical gender and now she's cisgender.
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What's Cisgender, if i may ask? I gotta say i'm not really reasearching this stuff. I am fascinated by the proccess of realization, of knowing you are not okay with your physical gender. It's more a curiosity than anyhting. Back to topic, just wanted to know what cigender means?
 
KillerCroCohen said:
What's Cisgender, if i may ask? I gotta say i'm not really reasearching this stuff. I am fascinated by the proccess of realization, of knowing you are not okay with your physical gender. It's more a curiosity than anyhting. Back to topic, just wanted to know what cigender means?
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Cisgender means you are okay with the gender you were assigned at birth.
 
i have to sleep in total darkness and silence or else i will not sleep no matter what. i also have to have my bedroom door closed all the time. i like my privacy.

i also cant go to the restroom in public places. if i need to go to the restroom and im in a store or something, i will hold it until i get home. yes, i know, i shouldn't be embarrassed because everyone goes to the bathroom, but im really insecure about how i go? its weird. i close the door when i go to the restroom at home, even when no one's there.

some people eat nutella by the jar or peanut butter, but i eat sour cream by the tub. yes, sour cream. also mayo.
 
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