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Most Private Thing You'll Admit

This might get deleted, but it is something private.
My name is River Ramirez, and I am addicted to sex.

Seriously. Like I don't know why, but I crave it 25/8. More than the average teen, btw.
 
Strawberry said:
I'm a drug addict and I have more than one felony arrest. How's that for a secret?
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That's what I'm talking about! ^^ My naked toilet usage pales in comparison...

Introvert said:
I completely suppress my real personality, thoughts and urges in my day to day life because I don't think most people would like the real me.
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Is this your real personality or the facade speaking? :P

jkjk right on man, first step is acknowledgement. Feel free to be your real self around us, yeah?

(I think you're pretty cool, for the record)
 
I'm paranoid that I might be a bad and sick person based on certain intrusive thoughts. My psychiatrist and several friends say there's nothing wrong with me based on what I've told them, but I'm still not convinced and I feel so much guilt at times that I feel like killing myself sometimes. It's one of the reasons I'm on antidepressants.
 
I don't know if this would count, but it's definitely something 95% of people wouldn't even guess, much less the 99% that wouldn't know. All in all, I only think my three parents and (possibly) my sister know.

I fantasize about myself and my social environment. A lot. Let me give you an example.

I was at lunch today, and I finally got the guts to ask my friend Denzel about coming and playing with me. See, I'm an aspiring vocalist and he told me he has some decent knowledge of how to play the keyboard, and I asked him if we wanted to start a band together. He's supposed to be coming over tomorrow night to see if we click musically. While I was walking home, I was listening to Angry Chair by Alice in Chains and thinking of Layne Staley and his stunning vocal talent. I thought, "What if I could sing like that?" And so, I envisioned myself on the mic with Denzel on a keyboard, and a shadowy guitarist, bassist, and drummer, playing at the annual school talent show (which had recently taken place). I also envisioned myself as drummer, and then as dual drummer/vocalist, which brought about the unpleasant image of Phil Collins. As I went back, I thought of how stunning we could be together, how we'd wow the audience, being unforseen and heretofore unheard of, since my father (a 29-year guitarist and 21-year pianist) had told me this past talent talent show had zero bands. I thought, "What an application! We'd fit that notch like a washer on a bolt!" I made a vivid image of each of us in that setting, on the school auditorium stage, playing exactly what I was hearing in real time – and it felt great. Alas, my brain began to rationalize my wild and outgoing thoughts, and the other side came back again. I thought, "Well, we may not be the greatest, but if we work at it, we will be!" And I went home, and it ended there… for a little while. ;)

There's definitely that same effect that goes on here at PC, but I'd rather not share some of those thoughts for the sake of argument.
 
Darkheart223 said:
My that`s a lot to take in at one time.
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Hm, sorry if I was being brash before, everyone. But it's something I had to accept to be able to get the help I needed. There is no cure for drug addiction, there is only chemical abstinence. I've been chemically dependent on substances and it's changed the way my brain works. However, there is a big difference between a using addict and what I am, a recovering addict. Now I went through a lot to get sober and I know its trials very well. Please keep your attentions and your condolences to those who have yet to make that decision and support them.
 
CarcharOdin said:
I'm paranoid that I might be a bad and sick person based on certain intrusive thoughts. My psychiatrist and several friends say there's nothing wrong with me based on what I've told them, but I'm still not convinced and I feel so much guilt at times that I feel like killing myself sometimes. It's one of the reasons I'm on antidepressants.
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Don't worry. I think terrible things all the time. I've fantasized about some pretty sick ****. But you'd still consider me normal, eh? You're not a sick person.

There's a whole boatload of **** I would not admit. Other than that, I'm a pretty public person - there isn't much that's private with me. There's a big red line between "okay to talk about" and "do NOT talk about" - I think I've admitted everything I'd admit. That, or I'm incredibly talented at conveniently forgetting all of the juicy details whenever secrets are brought up. I'm also scared of mentioning anything that could help put me in jail ;; or help incriminate me should I decide to do something in the future that could put me in jail. Gotta think ahead, yunno?

Oh, and then there's stuff that's inappropriate for PC. So I can't do that either.

I check myself out look at myself in the mirror. A lot. More than I think is healthy for the average guy, anyways. yaay for exposing myself as a narcissist.

I also don't apologize for being myself. I think about how other people react to me. That sounds normal and all but the fact is, I'm judging you. these are not socially smart secrets to be revealing but **** it YOLO
 
CarcharOdin said:
I'm paranoid that I might be a bad and sick person based on certain intrusive thoughts. My psychiatrist and several friends say there's nothing wrong with me based on what I've told them, but I'm still not convinced and I feel so much guilt at times that I feel like killing myself sometimes. It's one of the reasons I'm on antidepressants.
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That sounds all too familiar. Just like you, I too have this demon side where I keep getting thoughts of murdering people, swearing at people, and raping people. They're much worse whenever I either see a costumed character or watching a live show at a theme park. It's also where my dirty mind derives from, and it's a mind I want gone for good, in the same way Dr. Jekyll tried to do without having to share the same body with his evil alter-ego: Mr. Hyde, because it's abnormal. That way, I will remain in my pure form, while my demon side has its own body and be locked up in a maximum security prison, where it'll spend the rest of its life over there.
 
I have Asperger's. Or ASD, whatever you wanna call it.

I mean, the reason I'd own up to it is because people know what I'm like now and won't really care. When I go to uni, though, I'll keep it secret until absolutely neccessary.
 
I really am not entirely sure what I can fess up to here haha
I have a lot of secrets and there are very few people who get to hear them.

I currently have this sort of "romantic friendship" thing going on with my ex. My family didn't approve of the relationship and made my life hell as well as hers so for reasons I won't disclosed we now have to wait for a while before officially getting together again. That's something I guess.

I'm terrified of the unknown. Like things I can't comprehend scare me more than anything else if I think to deeply on them. I think it's a bi-product of the autism or something.

I frequently have these inexplicable sick, twisted or violent fantasies.

I was addicted to taking on online persona's and being completely different people for around a year or so but I got out of that and have no intention of trying it again (I've never been anyone but me here, just to clarify).

That's all for now haha
 
All these confessions makes mine look terrible. I don't even know what I said was a confession. Guess I'll reveal more. Might even help me.

I constantly worry about my social status every single day. I worry about how my friends view me, how girls view me, how my family members view me, even how the man opposite the street view me. Sometimes I get paranoid and though I have never reached a point of a breakdown, I get immensely depressed for some time, maybe a day or two. That's rare however.

Like some of you have said already about yourselves I too have twisted thoughts of my own which I'll probably never reveal to anyone except the closest people in my life, but there seems be two distinct types of thoughts that I have - one which I won't say, but the other always involves some kind of death. I'm terrified of death. But being terrified of it makes me obsessed with it. I'll leave it there with that.

I think that's enough confessions for me. I could reveal more but I've written more than I wanted to already.
 
I act like I have it together, in the real world, but really I'm an insecure, emotional wreck :P.
 
Strawberry said:
Hm, sorry if I was being brash before, everyone. But it's something I had to accept to be able to get the help I needed. There is no cure for drug addiction, there is only chemical abstinence. I've been chemically dependent on substances and it's changed the way my brain works. However, there is a big difference between a using addict and what I am, a recovering addict. Now I went through a lot to get sober and I know its trials very well. Please keep your attentions and your condolences to those who have yet to make that decision and support them.
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my boyfriends a recovering drug addict as well, he just got out of rehab 2 1/2 months ago. good luck to you!

i don't have many embarrassing secrets. i used to have a really bad shoplifting habit, but i don't do that anymore.
 
Back in the last secrets thread, I hadn't really thought about divulging anything since I hadn't really admitted it to myself even, and especially since contrary to the OP here, it would've been the end of the world. But in the last month especially, it's pretty much been the only thing on my mind (and I've adopted a "give no f***s" attitude), so why not. Plus I already mentioned it the medical thread. Something's definitely up with my gender, and through extensive internet research, the label ('cause they make things simpler) that fits is bigender. Forum gender-bending now knows no boundaries haha.


Jet Pilot said:
Um, I like Marvin Gaye's music? I don't know, many people question it

HE WAS A MUSICAL GENIUS.
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WHEN I GET THIS FEELING, I WANT SEXUAL HEALING
 
I have many issues, but one thing that many people are usually surprised to know if they know me IRL is that I suffer from clinical depression and anxiety and it makes it hard to keep a positive attitude, especially in crowds.
 
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