Name two things that you don't like about yourself.

I'm very skinny. I hate it. My parents always make fun of me for it too. I know they're kidding, but I am really skinny. I can't help it though, I just can't gain weight. I hope it won't become a problem for me later.

And I have bad anxiety. I'm trying to work on it.
 
The fact that my mood can do fast one-eighties and my underdeveloped body, although that's more insecurity.
 
1. My real-life shyness. I can look someone into the eye and talk with well enough manners, but in the end I'll NEVER start a conversation with someone.

2. I push myself too hard. I have really high expectations for myself, so when I don't meet them, I'll basically just go commando in my head and make myself want to cry. xD Not that I will, because that means more yelling.
 
1. Always suffering anxiety in social environments, and it causes to feel signs of not being able to speak a lot because I'm always worried about an altercation breaking out. It also causes me to doubt if I should ever go into public again.

2. Being a heavy target of bullies, and it's not easy for someone who has to suffer the anti-social issues that heavily cripple those with autism. In fact, I recall having to quit a course in computer studies because someone in my class was always bullying me.
 
1. I hate that I'm adamantly unmotivated. Any attempt at motivation me has an inverse effect.
2. I hate that my intense self-awareness figuratively distances me from people in normal social activities.
 
1. All of my medical conditions. Bipolar, neurocardiogenic syncope, postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome, PTSD, ADHD, sleep apnea... I hate all of that.
2. I hate how I don't feel a lot of emotions. I'm totally flat most of the time. It's hell.
 
Uhh, ok I don't particularly dislike the fact that I am an a-hole, but I do dislike the fact that I really don't have the ability to like certain people. I'm talking about even making an effort to make it seem that way. If I don't like a person, I have no willingness to attempt seeing the positive. The best example I have right now is this one girl I work with. The way she works does not jive well with the way I do, and I rarely agree with her chosen task at hand. She makes decisions I literally cringe at. But I'm not her boss and, putting myself in her shoes, if my equal colleague was telling me what to do I'd go ape****. So I keep my own peeves inside, 'cause I know it won't matter by the time I clock out. But as a result, I don't act friendly to her. I'm not rude to her, or demean or mock her. I civilly ignore her presence. But on the flip side, that hatred of other people does make the people I do love shine bright. Love is, among other things, acceptance of negative qualities.

Umm, second poop thing about me is my lack of motivation and constant self-doubt. I'm one of those people that want to be immediately good at something for my own ego's sake. And putting myself in a social setting where I feel the need to prove myself (ie. career) really freaks me out. And those negative feelings make me lose motivation, and overall make me feel apathetic about life. Which is aaaawful.
 
How I am over-critical and impatient (especially about myself) and I over-think/over-plan things to the point of being unhealthy. I need to let things go or let things be more, and not be so obsessive.

I have been working on my anxiety since April and I'm in a much better position.. but I would say that presence/esteem is the next thing I would like to change about myself.
 
1. I blush very often (and it's pretty visible).
2. My fear of bugs (I scream "EW" too often as a result).
 
When it comes to two things I don't like about myself, here is the ones I have come up with:
1. When I draw, majority of them tend to be vehicles with with weapons in bad spots (example: a helicopter with a gun directly on the propeller blades).
2. When I preorder video games from a store, if I don't get a phone message from the store at least two days before certain video game comes out, I get really stressed.
 
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