Pokémon Quartz "Let's Play" 2.0

[Candy]

Yay! You're back! And after a terrible misfortune of a computer breakdown and it caused me my Quartz file... What a relieve 8D *got pelted with tomatoes*

So... good luck at Corna you'll need it :badsmile:

 

[Yuoaman]

I really apologize for taking so long in getting this update to you, but with it being summer and all, I should be able to crank them out a little more regularly.

I hope you guys enjoy my first update as a legal adult! :D

UPDATE 44

Spoiler:

Alright... I'm totally going to do this I'm going to fight Da-

Alright... alright... As long as I don't say the name I should be fine. Well, physically at least.

Almost there...

Y'know... maybe I don't need to battle the gym to get out of Co-

OH GOD, THE MAW OF THE BEAST IS OPEN!

I've got to keep my wits about me. You never know what could pop up in a... very well-lit building...

Whatever.

Yeah... I sure am closer of it...?

What the f*** man?

Am I going insane - at a faster rate than before, at least - or did the Advicer just give me worthwhile advice?

DID THE GODDAMN ADVICER JUST DO HIS GODDAMN JOB!?

I guess it's best not to dwell on it, and to just move on...

...to the magic floor tiles.

I guess I should just pretend this **** is normal, then.

PERFECTLY NORMAL!

You don't have a damn clue, lady. Not a damn clue.

What are you? My therapist?

Wait... do I actually have a therapist? It's almost like it's been two months and I can't remember anything about myself...

That... is most definitely the most phallic dragon I have ever seen, and am ever likely to see, in my life.

Must be one of Baro's twisted experiments...

This'll take care of our little problem.

Though there's always the off chance that it won't...

TEH-PRO is still as professional as ever, though.

ANOTHER!?

I'm getting the feeling that I'm not going to be a fan of this gym... :(

Thank god they aren't horribly strong...

I do command the Abominable Army.

Was I just given a moral lesson in Corna, of all places?

...isn't that how every single goddamn trainer does things? Does this mean that my Pokemon are dragons too? :\

I can't be the only one who sees this name and thinks 'prawn' in their head, right? RIGHT? :nervous:

Apparently dragons can be defeated by sharp things... why didn't the Advicer tell me that?

You definitely didn't train it to withstand the might of the Abominable Army. :rambo:

Are you trying to sound philosophical right now? Because it sounds a lot more like you're autistic.

Err... I've just beaten two fairly handily, so yes... I do think that.

I'm sorry that my prior asskickings haven't been up to your standa-

WAIT!

...did you just say 'realize the true'? What the hell is this true, and how do I realize it?

Well Janice, let's see this 'true' of yours.

This battle isn't any more real than my past battles so far...

Is this a dragon...? Or... a coccoon?

It kind of looks like a pear.

Your Rage ain't got nothin' on R. Nixon's.

He really didn't have much of anything on anyone.

I don't even... what?

ARE YOU PLAYING A TRICK ON ME?

AND A PITIFULLY WEAK TRICK? Corna is mocking me...

:'(

Screw Corna...

No... amazing isn't the word... more like INEVITABLE. :badsmile:

And I still don't know what the true is...

POKeS?

What the hell did you just say sir? Do I have to beat it out of you?

I had to beat it out of him.

I won 'thar'?

Good to know... good to know...

...moving on...

But you jus-

Leave it alone Steven...

There... are no words...

That looks more like a fat guy in a red suit than a dragon to me.

...is that some sort of platypus? With eyes that don't quite connect to its body, of course.

STOP LYING TO ME, BUDDY! I HAVE AN ARMY!

Maybe if you spoke correctly you could speak more often?

Well, we can't have anyone tripping over this...

I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR PUZZLES! I HAVE ASS THAT NEEDS KICKING! :(

Well... I did kind of work my way through here... So maybe a little?

Shut your face.

:laugh:

We'll see how this turns out...

That. :badsmile:

All of this phallic imagery cannot be healthy...

You little b******.

That's alright, though...

I believe the saying is 'the tables have turned'; you silly, silly man.

For what? HORROR?

Wouldn't it have been a lot easier, and a lot less damaging to my poor eardrums, to just say 'two hundred times'?

I guess I can finally head on over to face Da-

...them...

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Damn...

OH THANK GOD! DANNY IS A WOMAN, AND ALL IS WELL IN THE WORL-

...or at least as well as it can be in Corna...

Greetings, Danny - the woman.

I have not seen one Pokemon in this gym that I would call beautiful...

...their asses being kicked was beautiful in a way, is that what you were getting at?

'Noblish'... such a cromulent word.

So were you appointed their sage by someone... was there an election? I'm confused. :\

Cornians, certainly. Though I'm pretty sure that isn't true for most humans...

...the hell?

I guess I'm not getting an explanation for that statement...

Did you know that you're a member of that small percentile of women that are both hot and ghastly at the same time?

...I thought you deserved to know.

An ostrich and an unidentifiable animal... the closest to dragons that Corna has to offer.

Nothing that an elven-pillar and a royal bird can't take care of.

Ostriches can't fly. It's a known fact.

Screw you, man.

I don't think that you and I would make good friends, Mr. Freech.

Definitely not... :(

Let's see how they deal with a real dragon.

Freech is quickly becoming a major pain in my ass.

Let's see how they deal with my type chart?

F***ING GOD FREECH!

Nothing can stand against TECHNICOLOR BEAM.

:rambo:

Dragon Rage... it's always there for me.

Speed Boost is alway there, too... :(

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF-

Ostriches breathe fire now. THANKS CORNA!

BUT NOT SUPER EFFECTIVE ENOUGH, APPARENTLY, YOU AVIAN B******!

Bam.

****.

Two can play at this game, Danny. :badsmile:

That ostrich is totally clawing at a pillar.

Roco...

Now why couldn't you have done that the first time? :\

F****ING BAM!

I sure did.

Are you calling me old?

And I sure as hell hope there are stronger dragons out there...

I deserve to go home, but I don't think that's going to happen...

What guy doesn't want to here that their mistical powers will be upgraded?

...what about the fear of drowning?

Calm minds aren't really conductive to asskicking...

Well why don't you sages keep your move then? I've gotten by just fine without it so far...

My ass is hurting already...

God... I'm going to need so very much reconstructive surgery...

Damn straight. :badsmile:

I guess there's one thing left for me to do...

Oh god... I'm going to drown, aren't I?

I'm also going to go and edit the first post now with the latest updates, so that's pretty great.

 

[Lockmaster24]

omg another update HOORAY.

hey i'm first and

Spoiler:

it only took 1 try to defeat uhhh... HER!!!

 

[Yuoaman]

omg another update HOORAY.

BUT ITS QUALITY IS ENTIRELY DUBIOUS, IS IT NOT?

Edit: I was so darned excited that I put "it's" instead of "its", and I cried a little...

 

[Candy]

...Is that honestly your first try at that gym? That's awesome

I had to evolve my icy chicken before I can defeat her, which is after 5 losses to her. And my prawn/dragon thingy (Progon) isn't that useful... Why do I even bother training it?

I hate my new computer... images won't load immediately and I have to do lots of refreshes to view the whole update :(

 

[Yuoaman]

...Is that honestly your first try at that gym? That's awesome

I had to evolve my icy chicken before I can defeat her, which is after 5 losses to her. And my prawn/dragon thingy (Progon) isn't that useful... Why do I even bother training it?

I hate my new computer... images won't load immediately and I have to do lots of refreshes to view the whole update :(

Thanks, I didn't even have to reload once, which I'm pretty proud of.

My computer does the same thing with loading images. :(

 

[*Minun*]

YAY! A new update!

The insanity has returned!

So much Spanglish... I had forgotten how much there was!

 

[Teh Baro]

...Is that honestly your first try at that gym? That's awesome

I had to evolve my icy chicken before I can defeat her, which is after 5 losses to her. And my prawn/dragon thingy (Progon) isn't that useful... Why do I even bother training it?

The point of having a progon is evolving it into Saphiregon or Rubygon, using stones IIRC.


Also, the gym is hard because Freech is Dargon/Ice type, which is one of the awesomests type combinations once can come up with. Only weak against dragon, perhaps.

also YAY UPDATE

 

[Sage Harpuia]

Wonderful an update...I had forgot how wonderful Corna could be....wait








What I HAVE SAID!

 

[Yuoaman]

YAY! A new update!

The insanity has returned!

So much Spanglish... I had forgotten how much there was!

THE INSANITY HATH RETURNETH.

The point of having a progon is evolving it into Saphiregon or Rubygon, using stones IIRC.


Also, the gym is hard because Freech is Dargon/Ice type, which is one of the awesomests type combinations once can come up with. Only weak against dragon, perhaps.

also YAY UPDATE

...that type combination would have been good to know heading into the gym; I just thought it was ridiculously overpowered or something. I'm glad you're excited about the update, though. :P

Wonderful an update...I had forgot how wonderful Corna could be....wait








What I HAVE SAID!

_________________________________________

The next update is going to have something a little special included, so it will take a couple of days for me to prepare for it.

 

[Mr.Silver]

Will it have you leaving corna for good by blowing up the place with R.nixon??
Also.... in the update you said you wanted to go home... but your forgeting one little detail..


...


...


HER!:

__________________________________
On another note.... Sparkly new signature!

 

[Yuoaman]

Will it have you leaving corna for good by blowing up the place with R.nixon??
Also.... in the update you said you wanted to go home... but your forgeting one little detail..


...


...


HER!:

__________________________________
On another note.... Sparkly new signature!

Who said that that place was home? :(

 

[Mr.Silver]

Who said that that place was home? :(

Emmm.... i guess baro... i consider home my secret base on the island which is caught in a temporal bubble with the time traveling owl... (the only GOOD Cornaian pokemon)

 

[Kuribute123]

The point of having a progon is evolving it into Saphiregon or Rubygon, using stones IIRC.


Also, the gym is hard because Freech is Dargon/Ice type, which is one of the awesomests type combinations once can come up with. Only weak against dragon, perhaps.

also YAY UPDATE

What are the stones that evolve him?

 

[Xephyr]

The epicness of that update gave me a warm feeling in my pants.

 

[Yuoaman]

What are the stones that evolve him?

Probably the Suit Stone and the Platy Stone... or something else maybe.

The epicness of that update gave me a warm feeling in my pants.

Yeah, that happens a lot when I'm in Corna, you might want to tell people that you spilled warm water all over yourself, someone might believe you.

 

[altariaking]

The epicness of that update gave me a warm feeling in my pants.

yeah, I get the same feeling whenever I see unholy bear ;)
Awesome update as always yuoman!

 

[saifors]

Oh god don't mention unholy-bear now I have to go too lol

 

[Yuoaman]

Oh god don't mention unholy-bear now I have to go too lol

UNHOLYbear'll do that to the best of men, there's nothing to be ashamed of.

 

[Ivysaur]

So I guess it's finally time to fight Amber. Can't wait to see that, since Danny kept beating me so I gave up on the game on her gym. And it's a shame, because I'm 100% sure it will be the funniest plot ending in a pokémon game.