Post your problems

[Zet]

This is just to vent my feelings, but I'd like to reply to this kind of thread. Everyday at school, classmates keep saying,"You're gay", well I know I'm straight and that's my orientation. Then at lunch they start throwing insults, just stuff that gets me angry. One of my "friends" even shot a rubber band right to the back of my head. It's just they say it's "fun" to pick on me. They say sometimes they pick on others. Yeah right: 0.1% they pick on others, 99.9% they pick on me. What if everybody started picking on them? It just, feels like a negative at school, so sometimes I fly solo.

First off ignore them, High School is the worst time for people to be kept calling "gay" it happened to me with name calling but it was different and that lead me to go kinda mental for a bit. So my advice just ignore, you know you're not gay and thats what matters

Ok this is kind of weird but if you know me you know I have a brother in yr 12, Well for the end of school his friend wrote on some paper, "Mr.Smith*(*I changed him name) I love your 12inch (Male genitals) And nobody knows who did it except me and my brother what should I do?

Common schooling stuff, just ignore it, its really no big deal. I would post more about the inches and stuff but kids access this site too, so yeah no can do

Eh. Dara needs to vent. ;x

*takes a deep breath* Before I say anything, please, if you have any sort of issues with bisexual people, or people with different sexual interests, don't bother reading this.

All righty then. Anyways. Last night was the worst night.. ever. I was talking to my girlfriend on the phone. My brother comes outta no where asking to see my myspace. I told him no. Then, my mom walks in. I accidently say out loud, "I won't let you see it because there are certain things on there I don't want people to see." Wrrrrrrong thing to do. She then starts questioning me. Stupidly, I tell him I'm bisexual, and I'm going out with my best friend. I was still on the phone, and my mother went insane. She told me how disgusting I was for dating a girl, and how it was so wrong. She called me names and my girlfriend was crying the whole time. I couldn't do anything. My mom kept going on and on about how terrible I was. How ashamed she was of me. She told me that if I ever told my great grandparents, I'd end up killing them for it. She never shut up about it. The one thing that made me so upset was that she told me that she was glad my girlfriend lived far away, suggesting we would do dirty things if she lived here. That hurt me so bad. I would NEVER do anything to her like that. My mom also made it sound like that's all homosexual or lesbian people do are talk about sex, and have it. I know that is no where NEAR the truth. My girlfriend told me she was okay today, but I bet she's lying to me. This is all my fault, for letting my mouth slip. I had to lie to my mom, and told her I broke up with my girlfriend. (I didn't though. ;3) I have no idea what to do, or what to say.

Please help me. ;; Advice plz? <3

First off most parents are homophobic, try and ask her why she is homophobic if she still ignores you than just ignore her for a while until things calm down. I'll post more later today considering it is 12:20am here in Queensland, Australia

 

[Tamaki]

Eh. Dara needs to vent. ;x

*takes a deep breath* Before I say anything, please, if you have any sort of issues with bisexual people, or people with different sexual interests, don't bother reading this.

All righty then. Anyways. Last night was the worst night.. ever. I was talking to my girlfriend on the phone. My brother comes outta no where asking to see my myspace. I told him no. Then, my mom walks in. I accidently say out loud, "I won't let you see it because there are certain things on there I don't want people to see." Wrrrrrrong thing to do. She then starts questioning me. Stupidly, I tell him I'm bisexual, and I'm going out with my best friend. I was still on the phone, and my mother went insane. She told me how disgusting I was for dating a girl, and how it was so wrong. She called me names and my girlfriend was crying the whole time. I couldn't do anything. My mom kept going on and on about how terrible I was. How ashamed she was of me. She told me that if I ever told my great grandparents, I'd end up killing them for it. She never shut up about it. The one thing that made me so upset was that she told me that she was glad my girlfriend lived far away, suggesting we would do dirty things if she lived here. That hurt me so bad. I would NEVER do anything to her like that. My mom also made it sound like that's all homosexual or lesbian people do are talk about sex, and have it. I know that is no where NEAR the truth. My girlfriend told me she was okay today, but I bet she's lying to me. This is all my fault, for letting my mouth slip. I had to lie to my mom, and told her I broke up with my girlfriend. (I didn't though. ;3) I have no idea what to do, or what to say.

Please help me. ;; Advice plz? <3

wow... that must be hard... *sympathetic huggle*

first off, zet netroc is right. most parents are homophobic. i once dated a bi guy, and they made me break up with him just cuz of that. but this is about you...

tell her the truth... that you didnt break up with your gf. and tell her how much it hurts you that she cant accept her daughter for who she is. say that you cant help it, sexuality is something youre born with. if she begins to accept you, good. if not... you might want to keep relationships with girls a secret. sorry if my advice is bad, best i can do.

 

[Razer302]

Keeping it a secret isn't a good thing. It makes it harder to see the person. Especially when they live far away. Just talk to her. There is nothing she can do about your sexuality She is your mother and should accept you the way you are. It is always find it hard at the start. But should come round eventually.

If she doesn't you shouldn't tell her you broke up with your girlfriend just to make her happy. She should be happy for you. If you are happy together that is all that matters.

 

[Tamaki]

ok, heres a small problem of mine but i cant think of a way to solve it...

so in tech class i sit next to these two stupid, immature boys (just imagine the fun i have). theyre ALWAYS making fun of this one asian kid in the class by going "hey, you wan fry rice? it five darra." and other racist remarks. ive toldd them to stop but they wont. ive even told my teacher. he told them to stop, but they STILL do it. i feel bad for the asian kid.. how do i get the stupid kids to stop?

 

[Lady Nicole]

I have a problem but I don't think anyone will be able to help.

My father keeps saying I'm disgustingly awful and horrible and wishes I could GO AWAY forever. It's impossible to reason with him. He's narcissistic, he only cares about himself.

Also, this is a different problem:
I feel sooooo depressed. :(
I'm just not good enough for anyone. I get so paranoid that people won't like me. I'll never get a boyfriend. I'm just not good enough. No-one is interested in me. I feel like killing myself.

 

[JX Valentine]

To gonbeneko: I'd say ignore them and try to befriend the Asian kid. The reason why is because kids with that sort of racism instilled in them by the media or by their parents are only compensating for a lack of self-respect. That is, they've got small ones and feel like they'll be liked if they try to be funny.

However, the kid probably feels like it's life in Hell right now, so you should probably stop focusing on the morons and buddy up with the target. Perhaps the other kids in the class will think aforementioned morons aren't funny and will follow your example. That won't get them to shut up, but frankly, nothing will except maybe a punch in the face. But violence only leads to more problems, so you probably shouldn't go down that route.

To Lady Nicole: If your school has a social worker, it may benefit you to drop by and give them a visit. While it doesn't deal with your father directly, no kid should really have to face that sort of thing. Meetings with the social worker are completely confidential, and chances are, they'll listen to you and help you out of that sort of situation, even if it means getting you away from your father. Trust me. Social workers are always there for you.

 

[Vanilla Kitsune]

Thanks for the support and kindness guys. The advice and ideas really are helping me right now.

I'm not going to tell my mother right away though. I'm still afraid she'll react in the wrong manner again. I'll probably still keep it a secret for a while. I know she's my mother, but she is homophobic like most of you said. I find it best to just let this all pass like you guys suggested, then tell her.

ok, heres a small problem of mine but i cant think of a way to solve it...

so in tech class i sit next to these two stupid, immature boys (just imagine the fun i have). theyre ALWAYS making fun of this one asian kid in the class by going "hey, you wan fry rice? it five darra." and other racist remarks. ive toldd them to stop but they wont. ive even told my teacher. he told them to stop, but they STILL do it. i feel bad for the asian kid.. how do i get the stupid kids to stop?

First of all, racial remarks are everywhere. A lot of them do occur in school. Remember that all people are different. People who make fun of other people are really showing signs of stupidity and low self-esteem. They either have a very hard time themselves, or just do not respect anyone. Eventually, they will say something to the wrong person, and get what they deserve. Yeah. Karma.

Try to be friends with the Asian kid. Find out their interests and see if your's match. Standing up for the person is the right thing to do! You are being the better person in the situation. The immature kids are really showing lack of intelligence.

The only REAL thing you can do is just support the Asian kid, as well as anyone else who has this problem. The kids are probably jealous. If the Asian kid is much smarter than them or just skinnier/better looking, that's probably the case.

My advice sucks. I'm sorry. XD; Those kids should stop what they're doing sooner or later. If you ignore them or just blow them off, they won't have any reason to say anything. People usually, kids especially, make fun of other's for some kind of attention. Once they see you're not watching, they'll stop.

I have a problem but I don't think anyone will be able to help.

My father keeps saying I'm disgustingly awful and horrible and wishes I could GO AWAY forever. It's impossible to reason with him. He's narcissistic, he only cares about himself.

Also, this is a different problem:
I feel sooooo depressed. :(
I'm just not good enough for anyone. I get so paranoid that people won't like me. I'll never get a boyfriend. I'm just not good enough. No-one is interested in me. I feel like killing myself.

Have you tried to find out why your father feels this way? Have you done something to maybe give him this idea? If you haven't done anything, then he's probably very stressed. Adults tend to want to take out their stress on their children or someone younger than them, mainly for the fact they believe kids really can't do much. Try talking to him and asking him why he feels this way. If that doesn't work, talk to a guidance couselor and see what things you can do to make your father less selfish. Parents should not want to put down their children. If your father is really stressed, try asking him what's wrong every once in a while, or ask him if their is anything you can do. Even though you're young, much to many adults dispair, you have a lot of power. If he tells you his problems, try to think of some ways to help him.

Okay, lemme get this out, DO NOT KILL YOURSELF. Don't think about it either! You would be throwing away so much. People always and do care about you. As a teenager, we go through awkward stages. Teenagers always seem to think people do no want them or like them. (I'm guilty of this myself) There is a time for a boyfriend/girlfriend. The right person will come along. Those girls or boys who brag about their boyfriend/girlfriend are just full of it. Half them probably aren't even dating them for the right reason. The right person does come along, and waiting is a small price to pay! Your friends like you, so why should you care what other's think? You're perfect the way you are.

I REALLY hope that helped. :3

 

[Lumine]

I have a problem but I don't think anyone will be able to help.

My father keeps saying I'm disgustingly awful and horrible and wishes I could GO AWAY forever. It's impossible to reason with him. He's narcissistic, he only cares about himself.

Also, this is a different problem:
I feel sooooo depressed. :(
I'm just not good enough for anyone. I get so paranoid that people won't like me. I'll never get a boyfriend. I'm just not good enough. No-one is interested in me. I feel like killing myself.

Dont come to the conclusion that he really hates you forever, first find out whats wrong or what you have done to make him angry and try and have a discussion with your mum for greater help then plan out your reasoning, and no no no do not be paranoid, did you know that at least 10 people in this world will love and treasure you for the rest of their life? and please do not try and commit suicide it just makes your relatives and friends open a mental wound

 

[Lady Nicole]

I don't think there's anything I can do about my father. I can hear him yelling at my mum right now. He seems to think she shouldn't have any friends of her own and she should be at his beck and call every hour of every day.
I went to see a psychiatrist last year (guess who's fault that was?) and he gave me some anti-depressants after I'd had a ferrous sulphate overdose. You could say I was lucky I survived...Anyway, I was happy after that because my father left but then my soft mother felt sorry for him and insisted he had changed (nope) so she let him come back.
Yeah, my family and friends are what has held me back about killing myself. But sometimes my feelings about myself get so unbearable...

 

[Lumine]

I think that your dad needs to see a psychiatrist instead, theres nothing wrong with you, your just under pressure and in a deep state of stress, and Ive never heard such parents act like that before seriously, you should never think about killing yourself dont worry time will fix your wound and that I can assure you

 

[Lady Nicole]

You're right, everyone. I think I'll persuade my mum to get the solicitor on him again. She's usually on my side. He's mad! MAD! He'll say something really offensive and make someone burst into tears and then he starts humming happily and you ask him how he feels and he says he feels perfectly content.
I'm usually happy when I'm not at home. That's why I spend so much time shut up in my room on the computer.
Don't worry, I'll sort this out somehow. I can't wait to go to Uni. Oh yeah, and when I said I wanted to go to Uni on the other side of the world, guess what? My mum wanted to follow so she has to bring my dad.

EDIT: I'm really sorry. I don't mean to bring this upon anyone. I wish I kept my mouth shut and never said anything. Everyone's going to like me even less now.

 

[Lumine]

Correct once you get him to consult a psychiatrist he'll know what to do just relax, and arent you staying in Canberra whilst your parents stays in Perth? how are they going to follow you?

 

[Lady Nicole]

Well it's just that they would have stayed in the UK if I hadn't bothered going anywhere. I swear he's not my dad. I reckon my mother got pregnant with another man lol. No, really. I'll edit this post with a picture of my dad and you'll see what I mean. You'll see me in my profile pic.
Lol. I feel a bit more cheerful now about this, thanks. Maybe I can find a way to laugh at the situation.

EDIT: This is a pic of my dad.

Lol, no, I'm not joking. Look at the pic of me on my profile. Do I look anything like him? I should think not. XD

 

[Razer302]

My dad sounds just like yours. He is always like that. I know exactly what it is like to feel how you do.

I can talk about it in PMs. Don't want to add it in here. It might help you.

 

[Bathing Ape]

Here's something maybe someone neutral can help me with as i'm pretty stuck right now.

In June, i broke up with the girl i had been with for 18 months. We were in love, we planned on moving in together next year when she was finished at uni and after i had done my police training and basically spend the rest of our lives together.

But since she had been back at uni (between October '06 and June '07) we'd been fighting constantly and generally just disagreeing on everything. We wanted different things with regards to having kids, she was insanely jealous of my female friends and excused me of cheating on her (even though i would never cheat) and she basically played with my head alot by insinuating that she was having a relationship with a couple of guys at uni.

So i had enough with all the mind games and decided to end it and she took it really bad. She started drinking alot and was cautioned for drink driving back in July. She got involved with a bad crowd and her brother actually told me she was delivering drugs between places for these guys. I tried to help her because despite everything she was my friend before she was my lover so it was the right thing to do. But she turned on me and threatened me with violence.

Now she won't stop texting and ringing my phone, sending me emails and allsorts and it's driving me crazy. The whole thing was months ago and i just want to move on and i've told her this so many times but she doesn't seem to understand and carries on. She's even been telling my friends lies about me, saying that i hit her and other rubbish when they know that i'd never hurt a fly. Infact the most pain i've inflicted is from a Special Rend when using Palkia but thats beside the point lol

How do i get her out of my life once and for all?

I've met someone else, she's so great. Funny, cute, thoughtful and really intelligent and i don't wanna mess things up with her because of my ex. :(

 

[Shiny]

Wow, that is a problem, well maybe get her some professional help?

 

[Razer302]

You can't get her out of your life forever as it sounds like you share friends. She needs help to get away from that bad group she is in. Sounds like she hasn't fully moved on. She will eventually. I think you should look at starting something with the new girl. Sounds like you really like her.

 

[Bathing Ape]

Wow, that is a problem, well maybe get her some professional help?

She was seeing a counsellor but she stopped attending her sessions

You can't get her out of your life forever as it sounds like you share friends. She needs help to get away from that bad group she is in. Sounds like she hasn't fully moved on. She will eventually. I think you should look at starting something with the new girl. Sounds like you really like her.

Yeah that's true, it'd be hard for me to totally ditch her. I just want her to understand that we're not together any more and that the process for us becoming friends again may be a long one.

I was worried that if i started a new relationship that it may seem i'm not being 100% into it as i should be

Thank you both for the advice, it really helped.

 

[Zet]

ok, heres a small problem of mine but i cant think of a way to solve it...

so in tech class i sit next to these two stupid, immature boys (just imagine the fun i have). theyre ALWAYS making fun of this one asian kid in the class by going "hey, you wan fry rice? it five darra." and other racist remarks. ive toldd them to stop but they wont. ive even told my teacher. he told them to stop, but they STILL do it. i feel bad for the asian kid.. how do i get the stupid kids to stop?

Talk to the boy and ask him what he thinks of it and if he feels bad go to the police, last year here in Australia down in Sydney there was a violent brawl of all these racist bashing everyone who wasn't white

I have a problem but I don't think anyone will be able to help.

My father keeps saying I'm disgustingly awful and horrible and wishes I could GO AWAY forever. It's impossible to reason with him. He's narcissistic, he only cares about himself.

Also, this is a different problem:
I feel sooooo depressed. :(
I'm just not good enough for anyone. I get so paranoid that people won't like me. I'll never get a boyfriend. I'm just not good enough. No-one is interested in me. I feel like killing myself.

Look you have all your life to look forward to when you can get away from your father who was most likely to have been raised badly. Hey I always thought about the way I look I would never be loved, at one point I nearly did kill myself because of what I looked like and trust me everyone can find that special someone

 

[Lady Nicole]

You know what? My father was raised badly. When he was five his sister was born and he was sent away to live with distant relatives for a few years. His mother just ignored him completely but didn't ignore his sister. He never talks to his sister because she used to take advantage of the favouratism going on.
Hey, maybe he has something against me because I'm a sister...
I'm not anything like his sister cos I'm always really nice to my brother but still.
Yeah, I'll get away from him. Thanks for the help, everyone. =)