Post your problems

[txteclipse]

Here's my trivial little problem~

I have horrible self esteem. People always tell me I'm pretty, but guys never ask me out and whenever I look in the mirror I see the negative things about myself.

The best advice I can give is to try to concentrate on your surroundings rather than yourself. People have obviously told you that you look nice, so try not to worry so much that you don't. If you're having a conversation and you're worrying about how you look, that worry shows, and it's off-putting. Just relax, turn your attention away from how you look, and enjoy what you are doing or the conversation you are having. People are obviously already talking to you or doing things with you, so you don't need to somehow make yourself more appealing to keep their interest.

As the old saying goes, "love will come again". Just don't worry too much about when that will happen, and enjoy life right now. There's lots of things to do and see when you're young, so don't let worrying what tomorrow will bring make you miss out. And besides. If you rush too fast into a relationship, you may end up with someone you don't like, which can be worse than not being in a relationship at all! Just take things as they come, and live life to the fullest.

 

[BakingBluePotatoe]

@ Sam Smith: first off- take a chill pill. You're being paranoid. >.>

what makes you say she's making you do EVERYTHING? Are you sure she isn't giving your brother chores when you around around?

 

[supertails]

A Guy going away

I met this really hot guy and he really likes me too. Anyway we've been talking and getting romantic with eachother. Anyway he's going out of town for 5 months because he has school. I really need help because I'm going to miss him so much.

 

[txteclipse]

There's a "post your problems" thread right below this one...not to be disrespectful of your situation or anything.

 

[supertails]

I understand. Thanks for putting it in the right place though.

 

[Razer302]

It is hard when you are far away. maybe you could travel to see him or he could come to you like once a month. Would make it easier. But you will always miss him. It never stops. I know that personally.

 

[Twinx]

supertails, I know from experience that long distance relationships don't work...
So I think you should put the relationship on hold because a lot could happen in 5 months, a lot changes, he could meet someone new and so could you...

Anyway, that's what I think...

 

[Lumine]

supertails maybe you can give him a call every once in a while to check up on him (or vice versa), don't give up I know its hard but hey things like this aren't impossible at all.

supertails, I know from experience that long distance relationships don't work...
So I think you should put the relationship on hold because a lot could happen in 5 months, a lot changes, he could meet someone new and so could you...

Anyway, that's what I think...

If I may butt in I just wanna say that it worked for me.

 

[Razer302]

^Worked for me to.

Long distance relationships. It depends on how regualr you can see eachother and how much you want it to work.

I don't think all long distances relationships will fail. They can work.

 

[Twinx]

It can work, but it's gonna be really hard... It takes a lot of patience I guess.

Anyway, if you really love each other, I think it would work, but if it's not very serious, I don't think soo..

 

[_Prince_]

Well, I'm posting on behalf of a friend of mine. You see, there's this girl that he's really closed to, and has gotten even closer to recently. Only problem is, she already has a bf. He's come to terms with that, and has accepted that they would probably never be together. Still, he's always enjoyed her company, and wishes that they'd be friends forever. But, her bf won't even let her talk to him any more. And if she does, he might even leave her. This really sucks for my friend because he misses talking to her so much, but it seems she's too afraid to attempt to make contact with him.

What do you guys think he should do? Just forget about her, or continue trying to get her to talk to him?

 

[sims796]

The obvious problem is both an insecure boyfriend, and a desperate girlfriend. e hasn't the right to decide who she can talk too, and to threaten to leave because of it is sad. At the same time, she needs to not give him so much control, and stop being so desperate. No man has the right to tell her who she is allowed to talk too, just because he's afraid of losing her. All that shows is that he possibly can't get a GF, and is afraid that she will see his "flaws" and leave him. And to let him get away with that shows that she is desperate to keep him, as if she can't find someone else. He should never get away with such control, and to be able to force her into doing what he wants her by threatening to leave.

I'd talk to this girl. Nothing too accusitory, don't wanna go ruining relationships, but to explain what she is doing to your friend.

 

[_Prince_]

The obvious problem is both an insecure boyfriend, and a desperate girlfriend. e hasn't the right to decide who she can talk too, and to threaten to leave because of it is sad. At the same time, she needs to not give him so much control, and stop being so desperate. No man has the right to tell her who she is allowed to talk too, just because he's afraid of losing her. All that shows is that he possibly can't get a GF, and is afraid that she will see his "flaws" and leave him. And to let him get away with that shows that she is desperate to keep him, as if she can't find someone else. He should never get away with such control, and to be able to force her into doing what he wants her by threatening to leave.

I'd talk to this girl. Nothing too accusitory, don't wanna go ruining relationships, but to explain what she is doing to your friend.

Yeah, I'd assume he was acting on his insecurities too. Thing is, I should've probably stated this before, my friend's not sure if he made her stop talking to her, or if she did this on her own accord (which wouldn't make sense, because she told him she cared for him as a friend too). But friends don't just abandon you like that, do they? If he is in fact, preventing her from talking to my friend, then I'd have to speak against that. If it was her own decision...

I'm not sure how my friend would handle that.

 

[sims796]

Not any friends I had. She really ins't a friend if she's willing to up & say "see ya, my boyfriend doesn't allow me to have friends" like that.

 

[Suki]

I believe he should stop trying to get into contact with her because there is no point. Maybe the girl didn't actually care for him. And I don't blame the boyfriend for telling her not to, I mean she told him that she cared for him and obviously that was a bad mistake as she does have a boyfriend. Oh and probably she wanted to stop talking to him too because she didn't want to ruin her relationship with her boyfriend.

 

[Twinx]

She might be a good friend, but if that is the case, it could mean that she doesn't have a strong personality.
She shouldn't let anyone tell her who she could or could not see...

 

[supertails]

It is hard when you are far away. maybe you could travel to see him or he could come to you like once a month. Would make it easier. But you will always miss him. It never stops. I know that personally.

I could but they don't really like visitors but I promised to write him and I also have his phone #. Did you have a bf or gf out of town for school? You know what's it like to miss that person though. What did you do to make that unstoppable feeling better?

supertails maybe you can give him a call every once in a while to check up on him (or vice versa), don't give up I know its hard but hey things like this aren't impossible at all.




If I may butt in I just wanna say that it worked for me.

I'm not going to give up though I guess giving a call could work. It's only 5 months though a lot can happen though but I'm going to be very loyal to him though.

Well, I'm posting on behalf of a friend of mine. You see, there's this girl that he's really closed to, and has gotten even closer to recently. Only problem is, she already has a bf. He's come to terms with that, and has accepted that they would probably never be together. Still, he's always enjoyed her company, and wishes that they'd be friends forever. But, her bf won't even let her talk to him any more. And if she does, he might even leave her. This really sucks for my friend because he misses talking to her so much, but it seems she's too afraid to attempt to make contact with him.

What do you guys think he should do? Just forget about her, or continue trying to get her to talk to him?

My best friend had a really mean bf she liked. He didn't like me at all because I'm gay. I've try to talk to her about it but she believed that we could still be friends. I had her homophobic bf being all mean to me and I really couldn't take it anymore so I told her he was using her for sex and to get to me and it ended her relationship real fast. But maybe he should try to wait it out because I only lied to protect myself. In many situation lies can be good because dealing with my best friends homophobic bf wasn't what I comfortable doing. I'm not telling your friend to lie but if it comes down to a uncomfortable situation lie because lies can be good for your protection but lies can end your friendship real fast too.

 

[_Prince_]

Not any friends I had. She really ins't a friend if she's willing to up & say "see ya, my boyfriend doesn't allow me to have friends" like that.

I agree. My friend really should choose better friends.

I believe he should stop trying to get into contact with her because there is no point. Maybe the girl didn't actually care for him. And I don't blame the boyfriend for telling her not to, I mean she told him that she cared for him and obviously that was a bad mistake as she does have a boyfriend. Oh and probably she wanted to stop talking to him too because she didn't want to ruin her relationship with her boyfriend.

But, swearing off her friends to sustain a relationship hardly seems like a good solution to me. Also makes me wonder how healthy the relationship in question really is. If she really cared for him as a friend, how could she shun him so easily?

If talking to a friend would ruin her relationship, maybe the bond she has with her bf isn't so strong after all.

Maybe you're right. She isn't really a friend, and doesn't deserve to have my pal's loyalty.

She might be a good friend, but if that is the case, it could mean that she doesn't have a strong personality.
She shouldn't let anyone tell her who she could or could not see...

That's exactly what I was thinking too. She lacks backbone and is easily manipulated from what I can tell. Talk about "love" blinding someone.

My best friend had a really mean bf she liked. He didn't like me at all because I'm gay. I've try to talk to her about it but she believed that we could still be friends. I had her homophobic bf being all mean to me and I really couldn't take it anymore so I told her he was using her for sex and to get to me and it ended her relationship real fast. But maybe he should try to wait it out because I only lied to protect myself. In many situation lies can be good because dealing with my best friends homophobic bf wasn't what I comfortable doing. I'm not telling your friend to lie but if it comes down to a uncomfortable situation lie because lies can be good for your protection but lies can end your friendship real fast too.

I'm not sure what you mean. What should I tell my friend to lie about?

 

[sims796]

I believe he should stop trying to get into contact with her because there is no point. Maybe the girl didn't actually care for him. And I don't blame the boyfriend for telling her not to, I mean she told him that she cared for him and obviously that was a bad mistake as she does have a boyfriend. Oh and probably she wanted to stop talking to him too because she didn't want to ruin her relationship with her boyfriend.

That isn't entirely good advice. Honestly, her boyfriend is allowed to tell who she is allowed to see? Yo don't blame the boyfriend? What is this, 1800s? She is allowed to talk to whomever she likes, and no boyfriend has the right to decide that. If he is that scared of losing her, he needs to grow up & get over it.

And she said she cares as a friend, nothing more. And not wanting to ruin the relationship? She needs to get over it as well, and not cave in to such threats.

My best friend had a really mean bf she liked. He didn't like me at all because I'm gay. I've try to talk to her about it but she believed that we could still be friends. I had her homophobic bf being all mean to me and I really couldn't take it anymore so I told her he was using her for sex and to get to me and it ended her relationship real fast. But maybe he should try to wait it out because I only lied to protect myself. In many situation lies can be good because dealing with my best friends homophobic bf wasn't what I comfortable doing. I'm not telling your friend to lie but if it comes down to a uncomfortable situation lie because lies can be good for your protection but lies can end your friendship real fast too.

This isn't entirely good, either. These are two totally different situations. He's not trying to protect himself. And it's a quick way to trouble if he needlessly lies.

 

[supertails]

I'm not sure what you mean. What should I tell my friend to lie about?

I'm just saying that he should tell her that her bf is cheating on her if the time is right. But that's when he feels in a uncomfortable situation.