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Chit-Chat: the daily chit-chat (jan2019 - jun2019)

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i missed you

now gimme that $5

I regret this deal. Not least because my ass is so broke that it needs a cast, and I don't wish my legs to meet the same condition. So how about I'll give you $5 worth of kindness instead? But kindness isn't my strong suit, so perhaps cruelty might be better.

Here's 20 cents worth of impersonal and insincere cruelty:

Your current outfit is louder than your chewing and just as vile.
 
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i will be eagerly awaiting the other $4.80 of our deal

Your eyelashes are offensive.

I find it difficult to tell where your feet begin and where your face ends.

You're a good argument against ocular laser surgery.

...I hope you clarify to your moderator friends that this is strictly business. I'd hate for there to be some sort of misunderstanding.
 
I missed you, but I'll get you with the next shot.

Do I owe you $5 worth of cruelty now? I feel like an overworked escort. I can only dish out so many horrible things...!

Have some smooth talk instead:

You're a vision. Your eyes are like colliding suns that are both eclipsed by the moon, because the moon is jealous of your beauty and tried to take it out on the suns because it has anger issues... and the moon is gigantic because how else is it supposed to eclipse two suns that are so far apart? It must be fucking huge. So wouldn't the suns be eclipsed all the time? How does astronomy even work? Did aliens really come here during the 50's? Did they get bored and leave? Should we be insulted?!!!

...I'm so fucken charming. Urgh. I'm the best escort ever. You should be paying me.
 
Some of us did.

No, but seriously - whaddaya think of your $5 dollars worth of smooth talk? Was it worth every penny? Of my... money... okay, this whole setup is very confusing.

Maybe I should diversify into being a sleaze:

Hey, baby. I exfoliated my lips so they'd be nice and kissy. I swear they're not as greasy as my hair and intentions... heh, heh... I watch magical girl anime at 4 AM and have a shrine of my mom from when she was younger... and 40 different types of chapstick because I like to give my babes a selection... so, you wanna hang out?
 
No, but seriously - whaddaya think of your $5 dollars worth of smooth talk? Was it worth every penny?

Sorry but I only except payment in the form of triple chocolate muffins.

hello everyone. how's y'alls fridays going? anyone got anything exciting going on this weekend?

I will be attempting to de-stress a bit this weekend. Maybe make time to watch a movie or play a game or just watch the world go by. Come to think of it a walk amongst nature might be just the ticket.

How about you? Anything exciting planned?
 
Nature is great. One begins to wonder when we'll stop trying to obliterate it. Are the higher-ups seeing something we don't? 'Ah, trees. What bastards.'

And a great movie is Leon: The Professional. It's an actual masterpiece. Please check it out - it's an extraordinary film with fantastic performances, and the whole relationship dynamic is rather touching. It's fun for the whole family! Minus very young children. It might distress them.
 
I'm about to go to a 'Biological Diversity Expo'. I've been before - basically, there's a bunch of educational stuff, and I'm probably gonna get to hold a snake! :D

UPDATE: I did not get to hold a snake. >:( The only live animals they had were insects and such. But it was still fun!
 
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