Things you don't say to a cop

[Guillermo]

Do you mind holding my beer while I back the car up?

 

[Her]

Hey, want to trade guns?

 

[Guillermo]

I was clearly going 100 in a 60.. I mean, ughh... 60 in an 100.

 

[Karasuma]

*puts in silly face* Uhh....Is there a 'problem' officer!?

Uhh yeah there is...thats why I stopped you.

 

[Her]

I'm laying on the ground with my hands up.

Lets do it.

 

[Guillermo]

Officer: FREEZE!
You: Shh! I'm drunk and I'm trying to sleep.

 

[Karasuma]

*Officer looks at you*

Why don't you take a picture, It'll last longer! haha!

 

[Her]

If you don't arrest me, we'll be best friends forever!

 

[Guillermo]

Listen, Officer. Don't arrest me and I'll share some of the drugs in the back.

 

[xMeowthz]

I'm on drugs, Don't arrest me!

 

[Guillermo]

Officer: Step out of the car please.
You: Okay Sir.
Officer: I-Is that screaming?
You: Oh, that's just my friend in the back. I tied him up. :3

 

[Azonic]

You're gonna arrest me? Well, let's make a deal first. (I've got Krispy Kreme)

 

[Guillermo]

Let's play dress ups, officer. :O

 

[Her]

Don't arrest me! Derk has the dead hooker in the back seat of his car!

...56 miles away.

 

[Tater Tot]

Cop: I'm afraid I'll have to arrest you, sir.
Suspect: WHAT?! I wanna go home... hey, do you think that Dorothy trick works?

 

[Her]

Caleb = lol.

I swear to God, I'm this guy!

I'm not a sex offender! :D

 

[Tater Tot]

What, you want some action as well? All it takes to have the best time of your life is four easy payments of $10.81. 8D

 

[Ruphire]

Would it be okay if I saw I borrowed your stick? *Someone gets shot across the street* Just ignore that. Now about the stick....

 

[Her]

Oh, by the way. Use a condom.

 

[pokewhore]

*Looks around* *Looks at officer* *shakes head*
"Duuude...diid yoou knoow...theress uh carr...thaat ruuns ooon wattter maaan!"