Things you don't say to a cop

Officer, could you please refill my flask? It's been a long day.
 
Go back to your Spice Girls and Wham!
 
Cop: Sorry sir, I'm gonna have to confiscate that.

Me: That's what she said. :P
 
-glances around all fast like-

You're not gonna check the trunk, are you..?
 
Officer, are you just pulling me over because I stole your donuts, or was it because I slept with your wife last night? Oops! I didn't mean to say that!

It was the other way around.
 
Officer: Put your hands on your head.

Me: YOU DIDN'T SAY SIMON SAYS!

Or:

Me: I will when you touch your toes, which shall be.... never!
 
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