Vending Machine

[StCooler]

The machine tells you a punchline and drops the mic!

*Inserts hopes for a better life*

 

[Megan]

You feel hopeless but at least you get a piece of paper that says "it'll get better".

*inserts the empty void in my chest*

 

[ReKoil]

Some of the animals you tamed come charging at you....

Spoiler:

...to give you a group hug!

*Dials random phone number using the buttons on the VM*

 

[Starlight]

You get an interview with a vampire!

*inserts minnie mouse*

 

[Megan]

You get a cease and desist letter from Disney!

*inserts marble*

 

[Fact Checking Gardevoir]

The VM malfunctions and you lose your marbles! But the owner offers you a Confusion curing Persim Berry as compensation.

*Inserts the TM100 (Zen Headbutt).*

 

[ReKoil]

The VM gives you a Headbutt so that it can be Zen now that you can't pester it for a while! 😘

*Inserts leaked design for the next eeveelution*

 

[Starlight]

You get nothing. Later in the year you see a story on the news about a vending machine that got a job working for Digimon.

*inserts coffee cup*

 

[Zeostar]

You get Scalding Hot Coffee

*inserts the alphabet game thread into the vending machine*

 

[Megan]

You get to make a new thread. Better make it a good one! :)

*inserts bitcoin*

 

[Fact Checking Gardevoir]

You can play a 8 bit arcade game, on the VM!

*Inserts a video game's DVD-ROM.

 

[Ti-65 Fukunotsuki]

You get an optical disk drive, but no longer have a DVD to play that game :[

I insert my laundry.

 

[ReKoil]

You get it back inside of a hamper, along with a map with the nearest laundromat marked on it.

*Inserts a tome full of forbidden knowledge*

 

[Starlight]

You get a 9th-level spellcaster vm... run!!!

*inserts 100 sided die*

 

[Megan]

You get to roll a constitution saving throw. The VM will hug you and if you don't succeed you'll lie prone on the ground.

*inserts Exit sign*

 

[ReKoil]

The VM opens up, revealing that it's hollow inside. You spy a ladder leading down into a brightly light room. Inside the room you find a portal to another world.

*Inserts antiquated meme*

Spoiler:

 

[Starlight]

You get me and the VM both being hip and down with tha yoof!

*inserts my favourite cd*

 

[Megan]

You get your CD back. Why would the VM take it away from you when you clearly like it a lot?

*inserts iou*

 

[ReKoil]

You get a coupon for another VM turn 😏

*inserts hug*

 

[Fact Checking Gardevoir]

You get an Embrace. Delivered by this Forum's Embracing Gardevoir!

*Inserts a Helix Fossil.