virginity

[Yukari]

@ Orpheus: It was not my intent to insult. I am simply speaking from my limited experiences. Everyone is different, and surely that is something to take into account when reading semi-absolute statements.

It's still a steriotype, and the fact that people belive it is insulting. Since everyone is different they're almost always inaccurate. But I know you didn't mean it in an insulting way.

Also mister Orpheus, the human mind is (scientifically speaking) one of the least well understood realms. Period.

Very true, but I wasn't speaking scientifically. I actually meant that as a joke.

Well, you keep coming back to it, so best not to judge. We're all just curious.

I'm sexually-reserved, but we're all being mature about it thusfar. No one's being vile or crude. No one's yelling out absurdities like a fifth grade health education class. Pretty harmless so far

That Isn't the way I meant It... But I can't say I disagree.

 

[El Héroe Oscuro]

I think the bigger issue really, is how disturbing this picture is that LilJz posted and why for heaven's sake they had to ruin one of my favorite Sesame Street characters D:

Thanks a lot, now I have this horrible image of Cookie Monster eating condoms.

Great.

Just great.

Even better, I'll give you cookie flavored condom.

 

[Belldandy]

This is the bible. Even if you don't believe it you have to admit that it is the perfect moral standard, you can figure out what the phrase "Therefore put away from among yourselves that wicked person." means. It's really sad that what was previously and offense, is now virtually praised.

The only issue is that this "perfect moral standard" isn't universal. It's cultural, specific to people who follow the book even partially, similar to people like my mother who only take what they want from it as it's convenient to her. She's quite religious, too, when she wants to be.

So to say that it is "perfect" is completely subjective and not the basis of a founded, objective discussion. It is simply your point of view shared perhaps with millions of other Christians.

I shared the same view, but not to such lewd extremes. I felt sex before marriage wasn't appropriate. I did it with someone I felt I was going to marry, but after six years and many bouts of emotional, physical and spiritual abuse, it didn't work out. Being in my second relationship, I still believe sex should be between two consenting, seriously-involved individuals with plans for greater ends i.e. marriage, but not everyone shares that view. My second relationship has also taught me that sexual compability between partners is important, too. Not the most vital aspect, but still important. You need to be at ease sexually with the other individual; it's almost foolish to wait post-marriage, where it's technically too late to know. Sure, you can divorce (also a sin), but that could have all been avoided by being more open, even the night before the wedding. At least you would have some sort of idea what the other person is into and whether or not you agree with it.

I wouldn't want to marry some 100% BDSM guy without realizing he was into that. He'd end up cheating on me with someone anyway who Would be into that stuff. It'd be stressful and demoralizing, even regretful.

That's how the other side of the coin looks at it. It's a lot less problematic to know beforehand than to wait and regret.

I share views from both sides, but mildly. Sex is important before marriage, but only if marriage is what you plan to do :P but again, not everyone will agree with me, and being mixed actually makes it more difficult to "fit in" with either extreme because both reject what it is I believe differently lol!

 

[Evanlyn]

Are you a virgin? Yep! *HIGH FIVE*

If you are a virgin are you waiting for marriage, the right person, till you're older, or has it just not happened for you? Not interested? I'm not interested at the moment, and right now I plan to wait for marriage, anywhohow.

 

[Cordelia]

Are you a virgin: No and haven't been one for about eight years now. :P

How old were you when you lost your virginity?: 19. Not too late and not too early \o/

Do you regret it? No because I ended up marrying the same person (eventually).

How many people have you slept with? Two - yes I know this conflicts with the above but we weren't together at first and weren't for about eight months.

Do you think there is a right age or time for someone to lose their virginity? Just as long as you're safe and mature about it, I'm fine with it... anything below 16 is too young, imo.

 

[zakisrage]

I'm still a virgin. Premarital sex is forbidden in my religion. If I had sex, I'd be stoned to death. (LOL just kidding! Though seriously - I don't believe in premarital sex.)

 

[Ivysaur]

There doesn't seem to be all that many waiting for marriage. And that's surprising to me.

Well, unless you look at it with a religious view, marriage is nothing more than a legal contract. For people who consider marriage as little more as taking the step to settle, buy the house you've been renting and create a family, sex has nothing to do with it. Sex feels good and if you do it safe and both enjoy it, there is no reason to avoid having sexual relations with your loved ones until you sign a contract.

Again, if you are religious and think that marriage is a god-endorsed sacred union, and you must get there as a virgin because otherwise stuff will happen, then there is reason to wait. If you don't care, then... dude, it feels good, it's free (well, ridiculously cheap if you consider the price of condoms) and it has no drawbacks if you play it safe (driving a car is riskier and everybody does it every day). So, if you both are mentally ready... why avoid it?

 

[Kanzler]

Well, my point was that I'd expected more people, regardless of the wither-tos and why-fors. Considering that this website does have a younger audience they tend to have a more no-sex-before-marriage-view. Then again, most of the people responding to this thread are older than would I'd imagine to be the average age here.

 

[mangamusicfan]

Im Still a virgin, Didn't find the right girl yet.
Eventualy I will find here :)

 

[Plumpyfoof]

Getting in late:
Are you a virgin?
No, I'm as far from a virgin you can possibly get

How old were you when you lost your virginity?
About a month after I turned 14

Do you regret it?
Most certainly not.
I'm not very sentimental. It was with my girlfriend at the time and we were both ready so we went for it. It didn't work out obviously and I moved on. It really wasn't anything special from my more recent experience and I feel had I waited longer to find that out, I'd feel somewhat unfulfilled.

How many people have you slept with?
I believe my count is on 14 different girls at the moment.

Do you think there is a right time or age for someone to lose their virginity?
Absolutely. I think 15 or 16 is the perfect time to lose it. Any earlier and I seriously start to doubt the maturity of the person in question. When it comes down to it, you're going to make mistakes at least make them well informed so you don't ruin your (or your partners) life.


I'm not trying to bash people for not having sex when I say this, but.
For me, sex is not special on its own. It rounds out a perfect night out with someone you care about or is a tremendously useful bonding tool. It's the time spent with that person that is special not what you spent your time doing. Some people put too much emphasis on sex being private that it builds up this insecurity and thoughts like "what if I'm not a good lover?" a more casual approach would lend itself to better sexual encounters. I'm not an expert by any means, but if personal experience counts for anything.
Sex feels good, it's exciting, stimulating, and healthy. If you're ready then you should go for it but if you're not, well it's not for your ♥♥♥♥ty friends or society to decide for you.
It really should be you and your partners decision only, if you're so inclined to follow your religious or cultural guidelines so be it. There's no shame in mutually embracing someones body.

EDIT:

That being said, there's no reason to have sex either, I mean it probably feels great but being sentient creatures we have free will as to whether we'd like to reproduce, and having orgasms is not essential to supporting life.

Actually science has proven once again that good sex can improve self-esteem and relieve symptoms of depression. It's also good exercise and is fantastic for bonding with your partner.

 

[Deleted member 143209]

Sex is something I have a lot of knowledge and opinions about, while I won't get into the ethics too much; I'll go ahead and answer some of the questions this thread poses. I lost my virginity not long after I turned 16. It wasn't great if I'm honest, I wasn't good at it. Sex is something you get good at with practice, and the only reason some are better than others from the get-go is down to mental conditioning, situation, and fitness level. Sex can be many things such as a workout, a physical thing, an emotional thing, completely animalistic, and so on. But for me it's all situational, there's times when I've been in a relationship where sex has been spontaneous, other times when it's been romantic and emotional, and also a number of times when it's just been to blow off some steam.

While I've had sex hundreds of times, and maybe even over a thousand, I've slept with around a dozen people. Sounds like a lot, sure, but honestly it's not a case whereby I've ever been "easy" or advertised myself. It's just happened that way, and I'm pretty cool with that. There's been times when I've had sex and thought "that, was a mistake", but I've never practiced unsafe sex. I'm a big proponent of supporting and practising safe sex, and do work with groups to promote that.

The problem with sex is, it's "taboo" in common culture. It shouldn't be so closed off in the informational sense. People should speak openly about their sexual encounters and how best to practice sex more often. It would lead to a more learned common ground among people. In saying that, more information would help people deduce when the right age is for themselves. While I agree that there should be some laws in place to prevent a minor from having sex; there should be just as much effort teaching young people about sex and how to practice it. Problem is, schools do this "sex ed" day one time throughout a child's tenure of primary/secondary education. However this isn't enough in my eyes, and parents aren't typically going to sit down and teach their child about how to practice sex, or oral sex, and so on.

Bottom line is; sex is a wonderful thing when practised in a safe manner. Everyone should do it, everyone deserves to do it, but sometimes not everyone is ready and that's fine too. I have no negative opinions on those that wait until they're married to have sex, but honestly, I don't see the point. I understand that some religions believe that the sanctity of marriage is broken if one were to have sex before signing a piece of paper, but there's no benefit to it. What happens in most cases whereby two people wait until an older age to be married and eventually have sex, is two unlearned people thrown into an act that they have no experience with. A physical relationship is important to many people, and if you're waiting to embark on said physicality until you're married, then there could be the case where the two of you do not click or work together under the sheets. Then you see a marriage whereby both people want a good physical relationship but neither are experiencing that with one another. I'm no marriage counsellor, but I'm pretty sure that that isn't a good thing.

Sex is a great tool for many things; do it. Do it wisely.