Posting that my birthday is less than a week away now :) I got another gift, though i'll likely get it AFTER my birthday. And thats another pokemon manga :P
I may use this forum to let my friends Jackster and Melanie (jack you can tell borjitossi about my posts on here too. i would like him to see them as well) know how i'm doing. I would like very much if no one tries to get me on other forums again for awhile. The drama on project pokemon (please don't bring up what happened again or if things got worse...) was too much for me. And I probably have to work on my confidence as a girly-girl more in general before i can handle forums fully again. I need to work on not getting upset if mean people call me names that remind me of people being in pain as much :( And relise my being girly DOES NOT mean i'm hurting other people, or am going to hurt them.
Also, i'll likely return to seres sometime too. The person i had difficulties with there was just upset with me about using the word psychotic as an insult (which i don't do at all anymore. i've learned better now^^), and i saw a post by him on my vms there that tell me he'll likely be my friend when i return.
I wish I wasn't such a drama queen. The problem is, i still have trauma over my dead friend. My mom has been trying to tell me stuff like peers not being his friends is likely not the reason he ended himself though. He was also mentally ill, too...
I really want to be a good friend to people. I felt bad about locking up parts of my account on project pokemon :/ I will be avoiding that forum for a long time now, at least till some issues improve, but I do wish I didn't make such rash choices over some troll who was clearly saying things I knew wasn't true. I hope I keep improving as a person.
I also hope my friend borjitossi from that forum is doing okay. I really care about him. I suggest if Jackster see's this post he should pm him about it. :)
That said, being away from chatlines has made me happier and calmer the last few days. Drama as a whole triggers me, and it seems to happen too easily for me when i go on these forums due to my reaction to even small amounts of drama as a whole :/ I need to seriously calm down.
I hope a birthday thread is made for me on this forum too. I'd like to post in it if there is one :) My birthday is coming on the 16th of this month.
Also, i actually read that liking stuff like disney princesses and cute cartoons a lot is probably more 'child like' than 'girly' in a more 'normal' sense. So if i'm afraid of being 'normal', and a person who will likely harm other people, this new info should lessen those fears...
EDIT: I also have another happy birthday related thing to post :) TWO DAYS before my birthday, me and my mom are going to a fancy restaurant with a friend of my grandma's. And from what I know they have rice on the menu there now and I will be eating rice there :3 Thats going to be an awesome day for me.
We don't have a lot of get togethers with other people irl yet. Its been hard to branch out in my town :/ I think if I enroll in that social group i used to be a part of (i left due to my word phobias...) again sometime though it might help us make connections better again.