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[PKMN FULL] Cornered On The Market! [T](OOC)

Would you like a Pokemon Sun and Moon starter as a guest customer?


  • Total voters
    19

Jauntier

Where was your antennas again?
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a wild comic stream appeared:

-baaawleeted-

will begin momentarily
 
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Orx of Twinleaf

Branch into Psyche
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Oh, there's all manner of things that might happen, the mind boggles at the thought of it! For mind-boggling lasting more than four hours, seek assistance from your local killjoy.
Maybe a musician shows up from an adjacent town, and decides to take a stroll up the street prompting Castiel and Amaryllis to seek his or her customership to improve their respective standings with the musician's followers. Maybe it's not a musician at all but an Arena Star or even a shop owner from another part of town looking for something to spice his own place up for the festival (maybe a painting/potted plant or just incense for atmosphere/a charm for luck).
Maybe a street performer of some sort is looking for a place to set up and the shops try to convince him or her to use their own front because they draw customers or even try to dump them on the other store because they're weird or something and might drive customers off. That would be rather ironic, having to try and make the opposing shop look good because you don't want a creepy mime performing in front of your own store.

As for goals, Druag might not really be very ambitious IC, but as the guy writing him, I think the long-term goal by the end is to forge a close enough friendship with somebody to be able to talk about and come to terms with what happened to him. And then he'll just keep working until he can afford a motel room on a nightly basis.
 

Jauntier

Where was your antennas again?
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Great discussion while I was away, everyone! Some of you actually brushed on ideas that I had considered already as well!

dumb list

except this. why are you so dumb

But thank you, yes, whether or not this role-play reaches a conclusion, I feel like we've made so much progress already that I'd still be satisfied even if something terrible were to happen to each and every one of you and this whole thing just up and died.

You actually bring up a great point; we are employees dealing with the influx of customers/tourists brought in for a Summer Festival. There must be ... you know, like, activities and attractions that are apart of that (featured singers, three-legged races, awards ceremonies, local artists and art shows.) I'd love to see or somehow be brought into one of those events. I think the poll currently in the IC suggests this may be a possibility, but the more events that may affect our stores, the better.​

This is true. There are many things that will be going on in the center of town, which happens to be all the way up the boulevard. You may have a few special guests drop by the stores, scattered throughout the day. Some more special than others.

Although, I'd like to hear what kind of visitors in particular someone would like to stumble in. Like, say, your local artist mention. That'd be interesting, especially for Cicaro.

Muk onslaught

I'd love if the circus came by for the festival and dropped by Forget-Me-Not only either one of the stores.

Maybe the bosses can cut us loose early so our characters can enjoy ourselves during the last hour or so, as a sort of congratulations for finishing the RP.
Because we are gonna finish this thing, right everybody!?

I saw that. I saw what you wrote.

You and circuses, I swear. But that would be interesting. Firebreathers, acrobats, and whatever else, like, I don't know, the curtain dancers (I've never been to a circus before, bear with me) could barge in and flounce their talents while making a mess of things. An incompetent circus, maybe. Carnie-grade prowess.

Oh, I forgot to mention, now that you jogged my memory:

Your characters are working until midnight.

Jubilee has only been running for 3 years now. Pokemon haven't developed sophisticated labor laws, hue hue hue. But! That doesn't mean you won't have breaks, or that late into the night, you won't have a very obvious lull in customers. Something could be arranged... Possibly.

I think one potential mission could be that of actually heading out into another part of the city to try and bring more mon down that particular street to either shop. Sort of like handing out fliers or the like. One such idea could be that both sides hear about the other doing the same idea and send someone over to sabotage the other fliers.

As for the circus idea, that actually doesn't sound half bad. Could be a small dose of fun to end the rp on, or something where we try to get carnival guests to also try out the store too.

I do have a little "upsell" kind of mission for the stores actually, and that one will be an early one. Although, there's a little twist to it. Heee heheheh.

Exactly guys, listen to Poxrally.

I'd be nice to be part of a roleplay that reaches a satisfying conclusion. I don't think a roleplay I've joined, here or otherwise, has ever reached a true end, at least without having a sequel up in the next twenty-four hours...

But that makes me wonder. Do you guys have any long-term goals for your character that you'd like them to eventually reach?

Oh man, if Cornered had a sequel, that'd be... so much work for me, ahaha! As much as I love this role-play, it's a one-and-done kind of deal. I hope the "done" part is when we meet a solid conclusion.

As for long-term goals with my own characters, I want to show off a softer side of my bosses, make them more relatable later on so that they aren't always presented as the angry boss. I want to get all the way to the point where I can show off a more "fun" side of Goro near the end of the role-play, when a certain big mission is set up and performed for the community. But as GM and as primary world-builder, I just want to be able to get through the special customers and show how their dynamic reflects off of Castiel and Amaryllis, for a shift in general mood.

Maybe a musician shows up from an adjacent town, and decides to take a stroll up the street prompting Castiel and Amaryllis to seek his or her customership to improve their respective standings with the musician's followers. Maybe it's not a musician at all but an Arena Star or even a shop owner from another part of town looking for something to spice his own place up for the festival (maybe a painting/potted plant or just incense for atmosphere/a charm for luck).
Maybe a street performer of some sort is looking for a place to set up and the shops try to convince him or her to use their own front because they draw customers or even try to dump them on the other store because they're weird or something and might drive customers off. That would be rather ironic, having to try and make the opposing shop look good because you don't want a creepy mime performing in front of your own store.

An important customer whose visit increases the standing of the store merely by association will certainly happen, as may be wont to during something as big as the Summer Festival. So do expect that the mid-afternoon.

I have an idea that I already mentioned somewhere in this thread and that Disclosed recently hinted to, which I quoted in this post, but I will have a sort of "keep away" with an unfavorable customer who will visit later on in the evening. That said, the advertising spin you've put on it, I also like. I may incorporate that in with the keep away to make it fresh, after a while.
 

Who's Kiyo?

puking rainbows
3,229
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I feel like we've made so much progress already that I'd still be satisfied even if something terrible were to happen to each and every one of you and this whole thing just up and died.

time to start planning the murders

Although, I'd like to hear what kind of visitors in particular someone would like to stumble in. Like, say, your local artist mention. That'd be interesting, especially for Cicaro.

oooo, I like the idea of Cicaro and Amaryllis battling for attention and trying to show off their own portfolios.

Your characters are working until midnight.

Wow, so that's like, 17 or so more phases after this hour is finished. We got a long way ahead of us.

I do have a little "upsell" kind of mission for the stores actually, and that one will be an early one. Although, there's a little twist to it. Heee heheheh.

oh god we're gonna have to kill someone dont we

Oh man, if Cornered had a sequel, that'd be... so much work for me, ahaha! As much as I love this role-play, it's a one-and-done kind of deal. I hope the "done" part is when we meet a solid conclusion.

Yeah, if you were to do anything of the sort, it'd have to be like a spiritual successor or spin-off rather than a direct sequel. Just having the same roleplay twice would surely lead to the second's instant death.

I just want to be able to get through the special customers and show how their dynamic reflects off of Castiel and Amaryllis, for a shift in general mood.

THEN MAKE CASTIEL AND AMARYLLIS FALL IN LOVE ITS INEVITABLE

That said, the advertising spin you've put on it, I also like. I may incorporate that in with the keep away to make it fresh, after a while.

It gives me chills to think of Castiel and Amaryllis gritting their teeth and trying to advertise the other store.​
 

Jauntier

Where was your antennas again?
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I'm withdrawing from this RP.

You've already expressed to me in private your further reasoning, and I understand how things are piling up for you.

We're all sorry to see you go, mate. Thank you for your participation--you helped give our Spirited Away players something to stir over in planning!

Wish you all the best in future writing endeavors, lad.

NOTICE TO READERS: A final slot has opened up for Forget-Me-Not.
 

Orx of Twinleaf

Branch into Psyche
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Hope everything comes to pass, Mr. Brendan14, we'll miss ya. Feel free to stop in and say hi one of these days.

So, like, I wonder how Varien's farewell would go. Not quite the same as just stroking out in the storeroom when no one's looking.
 
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Application For: Forget-Me-Not



Name: Benicle

Species: Ninjask

Gender: Male

Level: 20

Moveset: Substitute(TM move), Fury Cutter, Sand-Attack, Agility

Appearance: Benicle looks like a regular Ninjask, except that The white oval in his eye is colored blue, and he wears a cast-like object wrapped around his right hind leg.

Personality: Benicle is generally a very cheerful person, or at least tries to be. He likes making friends, a trait that comes from his youngster days at Farlance. However, you need to be careful around him, as he is very unusually rash. He jumps to conclusions way too quickly, and tends to be overconfident in his answers to various questions. He generally doesn't like people opposing his answers, as he feels that they are interfering with his quest and his past life.

Background: In a far away town named Farlance, Benicle was living out his younger years. He had many friends at the school he went to, including a Phanpy named Carlos. One weekend, Benicle went to Carlos's house to play together. There was a moment where Carlos had to temporarily leave to go help his mom, and Carlos's dad approached Benicle. His family being poor and not having the guts to tell his own son to do it, Carlos's dad conned Benicle into stealing groceries from the local grocery store, stating that him and Carlos couldn't be friends anymore if he refused. So Benicle went out to steal some groceries and failed. He obtained the groceries and started running away. However, there were people already trying to catch him. He couldn't make it to the door in time, so he jumped out the window. He landed very awkwardly, breaking his right hind leg and falling down. Police arrested Benicle and sent him to prison for 3 months for stealing, vandalism, and resisting arrest. It was around now when Benicle realized that he had been taking orders and accepted what other people have been saying his whole life instead of his own thoughts. When Benicle got out of prison, he was technically free again. However, in Farlance, most pokemon there like perfection in the town. They now saw Benicle as an imperfection. They rejected Benicle from going anywhere and doing anything in town. The only place he could be is his home, and that's only because his parents still had to feed them. They were perfectionists of the town, too.
Eventually, Benicle decided to leave this town and live in the wild for a long time. He figured that being in the wild, he could think about what he wanted to do with his life without anybody bothering him about anything else. He also figured that with enough time passed, the people in Farlance would forget about him. So he ventured into the wild.
About a week of living in the wild acting like a nomad, he realized that he could not survive out in the wild. If it weren't for two strokes of luck, he would've died out there. The first stroke of luck is that while trying to find a way home, he somehow gained the strength and determination to survive, and evolved into a Ninjask. The second stroke of luck was when he was flying randomly around, he found an unknown city. Benicle realized he could make a new image of himself here and they wouldn't know what happened in his previous town before this. So he made a resolution to stay here for the time being.
He plans on going back to Farlance one day. However, he wants the strength, wisdom, and time to come through him before making his reappearance in that town again. Maybe they will accept him again.

Benicle was hesitant about applying for a job at Forget-Me-Not. That meant he would have to obey someone's orders. He eventually gave in to himself, saying that he needed money more than anything. He would simply try to voice his opinions a lot, and hopefully nobody counters what he says. But maybe he can learn to be more accepting.

 
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Who's Kiyo?

puking rainbows
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Bye, Brendan! Sad to see you go, but we understand. We'll miss your blue slushie Kecleon antics.

So, like, I wonder how Varien's farewell would go. Not quite the same as just stroking out in the storeroom when no one's looking.

It actually seems a bit more natural this time around; Castiel could actually get Varien and he be Incarcerated. Or, Varien could scuttle away and never return.

Regardless, this is a little more in depth of a parting than Kaze was. We can't very well make Varien suddenly stop existing and invalidate his position in the story thus far, especially when he was given the main snooping mission.
 

Junier

Fake Friends Forever (´・ω・`)
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Cornered 2: In Space This Time, coming 2018

GOOD LUCK WITH LIFE, BRENDAN, LOVE YA, MWAH
 

Jauntier

Where was your antennas again?
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Application For: Forget-Me-Not



Your application is pending.

Thank you for showing interest in this role-play, and it seems you so quickly jumped at the chance, too. I do have some questions and concerns about your character, as I usually base acceptance of an application on the number of major discrepancies and how clearly a character is conveyed, while also encouraging the character be unique to their employees in order to create a more interesting group dynamic.

So before I begin I will say that if you haven't already, I encourage you to read through the other accepted applications to get an understanding of the characters in this role-play, and see if there is a role you feel is not only niche of your character, but broadens the spectrum of personality we currently have. If you have any questions on that, you are free to ask me, publicly or in private.

Moving on, these are the discrepancies I find. Don't feel daunted in reading, these are just questions and my makings of what you have written so far:



1) Your character knows Mind Reader. Now, the name is misleading as if one could actually read minds, but it is more like being able to predict someone's movement so that the "reader's" attack can at least make contact. As long as you intend to use this move in the sense of astutely predicting your opponent's physical movement and not actual telepathy, I think we will not have any qualms. If you have another idea for the move, you can pose it to me and I will tell you whether or not that additional use would be overstepping boundaries and sloppily meta-gaming.

2) The gist of his personality, I get, is that he is just friendly and trusting, and requires that of other people. You also says that he has "mood swings" when he gets annoyed, but I think by that wording you may mean that when he gets annoyed that it will clearly show--as would be expected--as opposed to my first impression when I read "mood swing", which was a little more extreme, although if I'm incorrect on what you meant, please tell me.

Now, being mostly friendly and trusting, he will go off sometimes and ponder his rather dramatic background. Which leads me to question firstly, is Benicle a social Pokemon or more reserved but approachable, which are two different things? That, and, with a background where his friend's father somehow manipulates him four times to commit what appears to be a violent robbery (I assume by his one), to the point where the entirety of this far off Pokemon town of ambiguous size "located nowhere near Jubilee"... hates strictly him, he somehow has his leg broken at some point in time which is unexplained, and he goes on to live in the wild despite his parents keeping him more or less under house arrest after he was released from prison--and that experience of being in prison and being so unanimously distrusted is not explained either nor even connected. And after only a week, he's depleted his resources, travels the far distance all the way to Jubilee... just to earn money so he can stock up on food for more wild living. All of that for, I assume, him to travel all the way back for just to beat up his friend's dad, which will likely end him up in prison again.

Now, I say this all to say that I think this very distinct side of Benicle is not at all reflected in his personality. He is rash, harbors a deep-seated vendetta against a manipulative, greedy, and possibly poor (the Donphan had Benicle steal groceries) family friend of sorts, has been to prison and has had his leg broken at some point for whatever reason, and has a determination to grow strong just to use that strength for vigilante retribution that could have possibly been avoided if he communicated to the rest of town that there was another man behind the operation, unless that town has a kind of Salem witch-hunt mentality, which would be interesting to explore.

3) After reading point 2, I've also went over how I feel the logic of the backstory feels fuddled in a lot of places, and if they were elaborated upon more clearly, it could start to make more sense as to why these events unraveled as they did, and may even urge you to change some elements of your story if it means eliminating big questions and inconsistencies.



Those are my comments. If you have any questions, feel free to ask me, but don't feel rushed in making your application now that I've taken a look at it. Cohesion is all about quality, and your character is actually an ambitious one from what you've written so far. I think the main issue is having a backstory that doesn't raise questions and, by its scale, proportionately impacts your character's personality. If you can try to convey these ideas as clearly as you can in your writing, it would make it easier on the rest of us reading your application.

Thank you in advance.
 

Jauntier

Where was your antennas again?
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For those of you wondering "where's my Amaryllis update?!" I deeply apologize. Today is the seventh day for me, and after I get some rest, I will do my best to get a post up as soon as possible, no later than tomorrow evening after work.

The last thing I want to do is stall on both sides. We all have to keep our activity up and I am not exempt of my own rules.
 
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I will attempt to reply to most of your comments and in chronological order.

Before I begin, yes indeed the application was rushed as well as typed completely on a phone. I apologize if that made an issue.

I have looked at some of the original applications; however, I only looked at page 1 of them since I was on a phone(also typing this on a phone). I will be sure to look at all of the applications on all of the pages.

1) I did a moderate amount of research in my pokemon choice and the moveset. I am fully aware of the true use of Mind Reader. I would intend to use it to track the movements of the other shop members.

2&3) Re-reading it over, I can now understand the problems you see with my application. As I was rushed and on my phone(I was at school hehe) I didn't get a chance to proofread and reread. Check my application sometime tomorrow, and the personality and backstory should be changed. If its not, it will be the following day.

Thank you for your concerns. This will improve my rp skills even more, and I truly appreciate it. You have no idea how much it means. :)
 

Jauntier

Where was your antennas again?
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Of course, mate! I know everyone has different writing abilities, so it's in everyone's best interest to address it early on so that a foundation is set and we're all on the same page moving forward. Role-playing is a group effort in so many different ways, and its an environment that should foster a comfortable pace of personal development as well.

One last thing:

1) I did a moderate amount of research in my pokemon choice and the moveset. I am fully aware of the true use of Mind Reader. I would intend to use it to track the movements of the other shop members.

You would have to give me an example of how you would use it in that way, because as I read that sentence, already I'm thinking something extreme and am leaning towards restricting that action altogether, (edit) but I would understand it used as a basic day-to-day function, since on the whole, Nincada, due to the living underground for the majority of their lives are practically blind and sensitive to bright daylight--which raises another very important question: how would this Pokemon fair for the majority of this role-play dealing with light?

I need you to give me an example of Mind Reader being used as you intend, and an example of the most extreme way you will use it while staying within the realm of fairness, in your eyes. And also do address the question of Benicle's functionality during the day and in a well-lit store as a Nincada. I think that could pose for an interesting character, that blindness aspect, if you keep to the species typicality.
 
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I have already finished updating my application. I am a bit wary of it because I feel like I am missing something hut I don't know what.

As for Mind Reader, I could only be able to activate it outside and I could only see who would be inside the building of Spirited Away. It would wear off after a few seconds. Individual pokemon could not be identified, just the fact that there is one.

As for the blindness and hating light, this is where Dig would come in handy. I could it a little burrow in the supply area to protect from light all the time. Also consider the fact that artificial light in the store is much less than bright daylight.
 

Jauntier

Where was your antennas again?
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I have already finished updating my application. I am a bit wary of it because I feel like I am missing something hut I don't know what.

As for Mind Reader, I could only be able to activate it outside and I could only see who would be inside the building of Spirited Away. It would wear off after a few seconds. Individual pokemon could not be identified, just the fact that there is one.

As for the blindness and hating light, this is where Dig would come in handy. I could it a little burrow in the supply area to protect from light all the time. Also consider the fact that artificial light in the store is much less than bright daylight.

I'll review your application, but it's getting late for me, so this is my parting address before I return in the morning:

So you plan on using Mind Reader like X-ray vision? I think it would suit your Nincada to use Mind Reader in a way that utilized its sensitive antennae like a kind of radar, perhaps using the move to be more able to get a sense of tension and movement on a target he has homed in on, out of the mental map he is constantly picking up from his antennae anyway. I, though, I wouldn't use Mind Reader as something too much like X-ray vision as I would something that just makes his sense of perception much more sharply acute. You can really work a lot out of the ability of refined senses, too. It's a versatile ability in this very social role-play if you sit and consider it.

On light, I'd venture to say that it's less about the amount and more about what factors and properties of those lights affect his sensitive eyes, but since that's delving into what I consider extraneous nitpicking, you can take your pick on whether you want the basic store's artificial light to affect his eyes, and if so, to what extent. Light is light regardless to an underground species, is my reasoning.

But if Benicle tried to burrow into the Supply Room, I will tell you right now, Amaryllis would fire him for criminal damages to her private property. This role-play applies many real-world consequences, my friend, which is a third of the fun. It requires thinking ahead for proportional reactions to any action you commit. Also, he can't be a good sales associate to customers if he's... in the ground in the Supply Room, hiding from light, and especially not all the time. You understand, yes?
 
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Alright, so combining the Mind Reader and lighting points together, what I could make happen is that I could have Binacle always have his head down, and the Mind Reader is on his antennae, showing him around where he is so he doesn't bump into everything having his head down. With Binacle's head down, he doesn't get exposed to that harsh light as much.

As for the burrow, I understand that. I can simply burrow just outside the shop right?
 

Foxrally

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Hey dud, I think your character's hsitory and movesets are actually pretty interesting! I do have a suggestion though (and you don't have to consider it, but it's worth hearing) Why not make Benicle a Ninjask? I mean, we have almost every body type in the RP: Bipeds (Blair/Gabe), Quadrupeds (Silver/Cicaro/Sam), floating 'mons (Castiel/Amaryllis/Rina), a skittery bug (Spora), a big mighty (disabled) dragon (Druag), and a fish (Errol). All we're missing here is a Pokemon who flies, and Ninjask would be perfect! Playing as a half-blind underground Pokemon doesn't sound nearly as fun, especially when you already have another bug in the exact same store.

But hey, that's just my opinion. I'm just saying that having a Ninjask would be a lot more interesting and fun for both you and us!
 
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