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Answer the question above... TWISTED EDITION!

Turn vegetables into pizza. But don't tell your child that it's vegetables.

Why are you hiding the fact that you are Superman/Superwoman?
 
Of course! I just raised my Gamma! 😉

What did you do with the drunken sailor?
 
It hasn't even started and I already am not ready. Didn't help that I had trouble getting sleep this night. I guess complaining about work isn't really a twist...pretend that I said all of this in a happy voice!

Why are you running around with this nerf gun?
 
Keeps it in case of something overpowered coming along. Walked away from a close call just the other day. Met the boss in the hallway. Started talking about being a "team player". Recognized that as code for unpaid overtime. Unloaded two darts to the forehead and one to the mouth. Shut down that conversation immediately. Would have been dragged into an unwinnable situation otherwise.

Why do you keep that as a pet?
 
It looked sad. It's mere existence has made everything it comes across try to kill it. It doesn't even attack humans, though I'll admit keeping it in check around livestock is challenging.
I've pretty much got it under control now. I pet it, feed it, and walk it:

Spoiler:


Could you lend me your horse?

StCooler said:
I did nothing, but my hydra ate him :(
Click to expand...

Gotta love how Kratos just stands there not giving a single dang about those people getting eaten.... >.>
 
My superpowers of mathematician, coupled with the use of Turing machines, chaos theory, and the network of satellites that CIA uses to monitor everyone for the sake of democracy, allow me to plan ahead for the next 257 years, 8 months and 16 days. By the way, you should know that Google will invent a quantum super-computer that will allow you to upload your soul / brain to a computer so you can become immortal. It will happen by the end of 2133.

What world record(s) do you own?

ReKoil said:
Gotta love how Kratos just stands there not giving a single dang about those people getting eaten.... >.>
Click to expand...
Kratos was my model when I was younger :D
No wait, I don't mean I kill everyone I meet D:
 
I have the world record for most consecutive days cosplayed !
I was put into a special Glaceon outfit that was made to grow with me! I was put in it right after being born =D
My world record is still going too! =3

Spoiler:


Why do birds suddenly appear, every time you are near?
 
Tried that before. Led to the hospital every time. Might have to do with allowing the app to access the camera, gallery, contacts, location, heart rate, blood pressure, medical records, calendar, microphone, bank account, academic records, credit history, and refrigerator. Probably did not need that last one.

Why are you keeping that in the refrigerator?
 
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I'm just trying to solve climate change by putting the Earth in the refrigerator. I thought it would help :/

What differentiates humans from plants?
 
Begins with your race. Roll a d100.
1-99: Strain of bacteria. Go to page 11.
100: See Table B.

Table B: Roll a d100.
1-99: Insect. Go to page 492.
100: See Table C.

Table C: Roll a d20.
1-15: Fish. Go to page 895.
16: Amphibian. Go to page 924.
17: Reptile. Go to page 955.
18: Mammal. Go to page 992.
19: Bird. Go to page 1027.
20: Unicorn. Go to page 1059.

Consult the listed page to get the species. May demand further die rolls.

Roll the indicated dice for sex, weight, and height. Varies by species, naturally.

Decides your stats next. Roll 4d6 nineteen times. Fill in the attributes straight down the line. Consists of Strength, Dexterity, Constitution, Intelligence, Wisdom, Charisma, Contagion, Viciousness, Eating, Ticklishness, Pain Tolerance, Brashness, Putridity, pH (expect to be a basic creature), Crankiness, Mitosis, Softness, Viscosity, and Sharpness. Refers to your species page for any racial adjustments.

Next, roll a d20 for mutations. Gains one mutation on a 1 and rolls again.

Determines circumstances next. Roll a d10000 for planet, then d20 for Parental Situation. Refer to the tables indicated for genetic diseases for your species. May require more die rolls.

Picks flaws after that. Roll 7d10000. Be sure to add any bonuses indicated from the Parental Situation.

Selects the exciting part next: your class! Pick one from your choice of classes, such as Icosahedral, Rainbowdancer, and Whistler. (Note: Restricts certain classes to certain races. Be sure you qualify for a class before picking it. Results in many humans choosing "Whistler", for example.) Determine your subclass and any further class decisions from there.

Assembled everything necessary except one: your location roll. Roll 2d180, then 2d1000. Gives you the latitude and longitude of your new body.

Try not to die too quickly, also. Takes a looooong time to fill out a character sheet. Stinks to live, like, five minutes as a bacteria.

_______________________

Paper, plastic, or parchment?
 
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Plastic, it tastes delicious.

How many of you are there?
 
I thought it said "boat". Oh well, a second moat in the living room couldn't hurt.

1, 2, 3 ,4, 5, 7 ,8, 9, 10.

...What happened to number 6?
 
What are you talking about? What is this number 6? Never heard of anything between 5 and 7.

What does the CIA know about you?
 
All the important information: the number of squirrels within 50 yards (updated hourly), the number of plastic bags in plastic bags, the last five years of pizza delivery preferences, the location of the geocache at the park, the location of a Secret Base in Sapphire, and the password to a Neopets account. Tried to escape them for years. Encountered their spy pigeons at every new spot. Could never say "Cya" to the CIA.

How did you get so good at sports?
 
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