Around 13,8 billion years ago, a tiny piece of something exploded for no reason. Like Voltorb. But back then, the universe was too hot and too dense, we couldn't see inside (like Voltorb). It then became colder, allowing for the birth of the first atoms in the form of clouds of hydrogen. These atoms started to combine and make stars, planets, and other "things" (like Voltorbs).
The Milky Way was born at that same time. It took its barred spiral form. In the Orion arm of the Milky Way, around 4.6 billion years ago, the Solar System was born. Then its planets, among which the Earth and Theia, that shared the same orbit. However, two planets cannot share the same orbit, so Theia and the Earth collided. The Earth absorbed parts of Theia and Theia, that lost a huge part of itself, became the moon.
The Earth was very hot at that point. Think of a ball of magma. Magcargo would have been happy back then. The Earth got hit for millions of years by meteorites, and it got colder. As it got colder, the Earth started to get an atmosphere, and water.
Around 4 billion years ago, a soup of molecules started to give rise to aminoacids and consitutents of DNA. Somehow they reacted together to make life forms. The Earth was still very hot, not Magcargo-hot, but still.
The first life forms were bacteria, viruses, that kind of stuff. DNA in a box, kinda. Around 3.5 billion years ago, some of these life forms became able to catch the light of the Sun. They were the first Pokémon trainers. Then the cells became more "organised", they got a nucleus to store their DNA, which made it easier when they wanted to combine together to make multicellular lives1.6 billion years ago. Like they waited 500 million years before they decided to combine. The first animals (and Pokémons) appeared around 600 million years ago. 300 million years later, I was born because my mommy and my daddy were in love. After that, I met my friend at school, who told me to stay alive until humans were born, which I did, because I'm stupid.
Humans did great stuff sometimes. There's that guy, called Alan Turing, he invented computers. He was bored someday and thought: "What if I invented the most powerful tool the humanity has never thought they needed, then change the face of the world?" and a week later, he was already thinking about artificial intelligence.
But then, a guy named William Henry Gates III made computers easy to buy, and another guy named Steven Paul Jobs made computers a social class discriminator. Then one day, a guy thought: "What if I brought together all the Pokémon fans?" and created PokéCommunity.
Later, I was bored and needed something therapeutic to do, I played Pokémon Insurgence, felt it was cool but still is too close to what Game Freak would do. So I thought, I need to make my own game. I joined the Game Dev part of PokéCommunity. They were terrible at version management, and the scripts I was making for Pokémon Essentials became out-of-date. So I couldn't help people anymore. But I thought, I like this forum, maybe I can lurk elsewhere. I ended up on the Forum Games, I liked the games, I liked the people, even if they always steal my win. There's also Ash, who shamelessly gave my hard-earned paid holidays to Megan, I am currently plotting for revenge.
But yeah, roughly, how I got here.
Can I have your cookie?
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