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Cheating...

Kura

Kura

twitter.com/puccarts
    • 10,994
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    What would you do if your significant other cheated on you? (Even if you don't have a significant other ATM, how would you think you would react?)

    Would you try to work it out? Would you dump them straight out? Would you brush it over if they said they were truly sorry?


    What would you do?

    (I feel like cheating is the lowest of lows.. and I wouldn't ever be able to be with someone if they cheated before.. even if it was in one of their past relationships..)
     
    I've been cheated on before. I just flatly said when I caught them with each other; "I hope your happy." and then walked away. I rejected all her calls, all her letters, so hopefully she got the point :P
     
    I will curse her probably and hit the guy. I won't try to reconcile with her nor speak with her. If one cheats on you, that means they don't want to be with you.
     
    ...because I'm lazy, I'll just paste the response I gave to this topic from another thread.

    I guess you can only really understand the severity of that question when you're experiencing or have experienced anything like that, it's no good saying "oh I'd stick by him forever regardless of what he did" when you're unaware of the emotional instability this could actually cause you, it can actually be worse than physical pain.

    I've been through my share of heartbreak and while I've done some really irrational things in the past, if I were thrust into that sort of situation again, I'd try to talk it out with him first...of course it would be a bit of a thin line because he would have basically broken the code of our entire relationship, so even if we tried to compromise...the hurt would still linger and the seed of doubt and suspicion had already been planted the moment you found out. So it wouldn't be unusual if that could entirely break a relationship eventually. The love may linger there, and while it's possible to start all over, trying to maintain a relationship after that would be easier said than done.
     
    I would say something like "Get away from my life" or "I don't want to know you anymore" and just walk away and and broke up with her having any contact (translated, lol.).
     
    Cassino said:
    I would have already made clear that going off with other people on little... expeditions, is okay (not perfectly fine, but really we can all do with some variety, haha) as long as they tell me and possibly some other conditions. I'm not a proponent of monogamy, and I don't see sex as an expression of love so much as a base desire, like how hunger makes us eat.

    Really, I'm confused about how people see adultery so negatively; it seems selfish really, to want one's partner all to oneself in that way. If love really is about trust and understanding, I think people should be trusting the good nature and judgement of their partners, and allow them what freedom they will have themselves, not hold them on a tight lead like an unruly dog.
    Click to expand...

    Depends on what people want. Some people are in an open relationship, like what you're saying. My cousin is in one, for example, and both partners are completely fine with it and going outside the relationship to get whatever sexual or romantic experience they feel they want to explore.

    But if you established in the relationship that you don't want any other "partners" because either one or both of you believe that sex IS an expression of love, then that's being really disrespectful and hurtful to the other person. I don't see wanting to have someone that you can trust and love wholly as being selfish.

    So in that respect.. cheating and having an open relationship are two completely different aspects of a relationship IMO.


    Edit: In conclusion, I agree with you. As long as you make it clear to your partner and your partner agrees that it's okay, then all to you. If not, well then you'll have to talk it through and possibly one of you will have to make comprimises once in a while. Your relationship belongs to you and your partner, so no one here can tell you that your views are wrong.
     
    That depends entirely on the situation. I suppose if they were truly sorry, I'd brush it off and forgive them. I know this because I've done it over nine-thousand times and still don't feel the need to change my way of handling it.
     
    It depends on the type of relationship I'm in with someone. Right now, it's really complicated. Especially since it's a long distance relationship. I put my trust in her, and I expect she's done the same for me, so it would be hard for either of us to cheat. I'd say we're in a closed relationship. If it was open, then I would be more understanding. But I don't think either one of us are interested in an open relationship, so if either one of us were to cheat, I'm sure there'd be some heartbreak in there. Apparently though, since I was talking to her about this a few nights ago, she'd be "understanding" if I cheat on her. I think that's ridiculous, which is the first major disagreement we've had.
     
    I'd break up with her. From my experience, if a girl cheats on a guy, she doesn't respect him and the relationship is facing eminent doom. Might as well just end it soon instead of wasting time feeling worried for the relationship or losing confidence in myself.
     
    Intant break up. I wouldn't ever be able to trust that person again, and a relationship without trust is not a good relationship. Open relationships aren't an option because I get jealous far too easily and it would just hurt me too much.
     
    I'd try to understand why it happened and if there was a "good" reason for it. A good reason being something like the other half of the relationship was cold and distant or emotionally abusive or the relationship was a relationship in name only. I feel like cheating happens when the stuff that keeps a relationship going isn't there, whatever that stuff is for the two people involved. I guess I feel like it would have to end there and that any hope of reconciliation would have to come in the future when both people had changed/grown/moved on, in which case it's unlikely they'd want to try again.
     
    If they were really sorry, they wouldn't have cheated. I don't care what sorry excuse of an apology they can come up with. There's no second chances from me. People get bored with each other eventually so there's no point in dragging on a relationship when you hit a brick wall.
     
    Considering my significant other... I would break down for awhile. Depending on the situation I would do different things. If he really wanted her over me, my world would probably just crash. If he didn't really, then I think I would come to forgive him. But then there would be some trust issues...
     
    I've been cheated on before. I found out about a week after she broke up with me through someone else, and I never told her. She had wanted to remain friends, but when I knew what she had done I told her that I needed time to think, and then never answered her calls or replied to her attempts to contact me again. She still doesn't know that I know she cheated on me.

    If somebody did this to me I would break up with them.
     
    No matter how much I loved someone, and no matter how much I'd try and get over it, I don't think I ever possibly could. I agree with Kura that it is the lowest of lows — if you really care for someone, you wouldn't do it. Simple as that.

    Yes I can understand that someone may be attracted to another, but then that is when you decide who you want to be with — either stay with the person you're with and devote yourself to them entirely, or break up with them.

    Cheating is hurtful for everyone involved and it never turns out well. If you feel a better connection with someone else, as much as it may hurt the person you're currently with, they'll prefer you being honest than you cheating on them.
     
    Simple: Ask her why she cheated on me and if I get a silly/dumb answer, I'd just dump her. I have no sympathy for people like that. If you love someone, you wouldn't stoop that low to hurt them.
     
    well I havent been cheated on and I trust my wiffey with all my heart =D but in case someting like that happened, I would say "you didnt have to lie to me, if you are happy why would I be in your way if I truly love you?" so yeah, if shes not happy wit me anymore I dont want it, after all, all I want is her to be happy! besides if they stay, whats the point again? i mean they wont love you and you wll know it do you see any point in holding them?
    one thing I would defenitely do is fighting over my beloved one, until the point that i cant get her back and thats when i would finally admit it.
     
    I would never take my Boyfriend back if he cheated on me! It proves that he doesn't give a **** about me or my feelings so why should i take someone like that back!

    Luckily I am fairly sure my BF would never do something like that, so I am all good :D

    but cheaters are disgusting!
     
    Vendak said:
    Intant break up. I wouldn't ever be able to trust that person again, and a relationship without trust is not a good relationship. Open relationships aren't an option because I get jealous far too easily and it would just hurt me too much.
    Click to expand...

    um ryan me n sav r havin happe times 2gefer ;)

    I'd break up with them. You... couldn't really go on with them after something like that imo :|
     
    My thought is if they were truly sorry that never would have cheated in the first place. Once they cheat my opinion of them is quite changed and I could probably never trust my significant other(at this point former) again therefore I would just go separate ways. This is if that were ever the case.
     
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