Chit-Chat: Daily Cross Chop

[Oryx]

I like this post because it makes sense. I've never thought about it, but would you say self confidence is the biggest key to starting a relationship as opposed to maybe having mutual interests? I feel like my lack of self confidence when it comes to meeting new people in real life can hold me back from starting relationships. Even with people who I have a LOT in common with.

If you don't think you're worth loving, then someone with a ton of mutual interests will probably just be a friend to you! Alex is right though about relationships being complex and that no one can just say "this'll work" - for me there's always a "click" with someone I'm interested in dating that happens when we first meet. I guess it's chemistry or whatever; I can't date people that I didn't click with.

 

[Alfieri]

Today is my 4 year anniversary with my boyfriend :) So my advice on acquiring a relationship could always be flawed or out of date. But I know I got the most interest when I had good things going for me and was confident in myself and wasn't interested in a relationship, as I was leaving high school and heading to college.

But see the thing is, men are almost always the pursuer when it comes to a relationship. Several girls either want or don't want to be in one and they just live their life. The guys on the other hand, will find an interest in whatever girl and then go after them in hopes of a relationship. The girl then has to decide whether he's good or not.

 

[TRIFORCE89]

I've learned that the hard way just with friends. I can be overbearing at times, but with good intentions! However no matter how good the intentions are I do realize how annoying this can be :[


also 5000th post! woo!

Yeah. I've learned that good intentions mean null, can be detrimental even, if the recipient of those intentions doesn't find them welcome or good.



How much longer until DCC returns to food talk?? :)

 

[Oryx]

But see the thing is, men are almost always the pursuer when it comes to a relationship. Several girls either want or don't want to be in one and they just live their life. The guys on the other hand, will find an interest in whatever girl and then go after them in hopes of a relationship. The girl then has to decide whether he's good or not.

People really don't seem to get this - confidence and not actively looking for a relationship is not equal to sitting on your hands, not interacting with anyone new, and doing nothing. You can not be looking for a relationship, meet someone who's interested in you (there are signs, learn to read them), and then go for it. That's kind of the point; the point isn't to ignore anyone who might be interested because you're not looking for a relationship. The point is to have enough going on that you aren't trying to fulfill yourself or bolster your own confidence with a relationship, and then the relationship eventually happens naturally, because in the course of being your awesome self you meet someone else who's awesome and attracted to your awesomeness and you fall for each other.

Of course, there are plenty of people who find people through online dating which is the opposite of organic, but even there confidence is key in writing anything that will make people think "this person would improve my life by their presence", you know?

 

[Shining Raichu]

throughout my meager 16 years of existence I've kinda come to realize that it's better for me to wait until opportunities come to me than to gauge every girl that I meet on whether or not I'd date them immediately when I meet them. but I still do that anyway sometimes, I just can't help myself. really though I think I've been quite unlucky in that department -- most of the girls that want me I don't really want anything to do with, and most of the girls I want don't like me back! oh well. such is life.

You'll get one, if I have to punch out each one myself to make it happen.

 

[Radioactive]

Things are really strange...

 

[obZen]

When it comes to girls, I rarely "click"
It's been so long since I had a fun conversation where we were mutually interested
Even going out, people have been so damn uninteresting and shallow
I don't wanna take an Instagram photo drinking from a martini
That literally accomplishes nothing
I hate the pretensiousness

And forget online dating! Guys flock to girls on whim, yet you're going to allow this through the click of a mouse? Girls on dating sites get SO many messages, I honestly don't know how they maintain their sanity :/

 

[Kurono]

to summarize:

interpersonal relations in humans are very much like interpersonal relations in the animal kingdom

sometimes you just do a little dance and make a little love and then you get down tonight, sometimes you'll get no satisfaction.

regardless, be yourselves and don't worry too much about it


The rolling stones and kc and the sunshine band, am i right?

 

[blue]

Relationships.

Er......

 

[Bellsprout]

Trying out tinder again and a sexy man who holds fairly good convo keeps chatting with me from six miles away. Keep me in your prayers everyone.

 

[Oryx]

Twist: it's maccrash in disguise

 

[Livewire]

*prays for Virgo in all her tinder adventures*

Double twist: It's Patchisou Yutohru

 

[Alex]

I like everybody on Tinder just to see who likes me back.

 

[Alexander Nicholi]

IMO I've seen places yield better results than something like Tinder. Guess which? :P

Grindr's really cool though. At one point or another in my adult life I'll end up using that thing.
I wonder if statistically among gays if there are more submissive men in the world or more dominant men… I'd love it if I were in the minority. :p

 

[Sector]

Oh gosh, conversation about women. Don't get me started x)

On a side note, I have a nasty habit of flirting. Does that consider a player, or as my friends would call it, "playa?"

 

[Oryx]

If we knew each other in person I would probably call it "making me really uncomfortable"

 

[Alexander Nicholi]

I'd be really uncomfortable too. Even if I wasn't involved at all, awkwardness makes me tense up just as much as if I said it. >>

 

[Sector]

Yeah that came out a bit differently than I intended now that I re-read my last post. Never mind -_-

 

[Alfieri]

Speaking of relationships and stuff, I noticed a difference in speech in girls when they are speaking to a guy. The girl usually tells more embarrassing stuff to her guy friend but will keep that stuff hidden in a locker under the sea when they speak to a guy that they have an interest in.

Like 3 years ago, I was speaking to a friend of mine while she was sick. She told me that she had to keep coughing up phlegm and later that day I remember she mentioned to me that she would have never said that out loud, had she been with a guy she wanted to date lmao.

Same thing happened with another friend of mine 2 weeks ago. I thought she was cute but I had a feeling she wasn't interested in me because she was telling me about all the medicine she was taking to get rid of her sickness like Mucinex and stuff like that. But thanks to what my old friend said, it made me think that if my friend was interested in me, she probably would have kept that medication stuff hidden from me.

It's probably kinda hard to understand what I'm trying to say since I'm horrible at explaining things but yeah lol.

 

[Alexander Nicholi]

Speaking of relationships and stuff, I noticed a difference in speech in girls when they are speaking to a guy. The girl usually tells more embarrassing stuff to her guy friend but will keep that stuff hidden in a locker under the sea when they speak to a guy that they have an interest in.

Like 3 years ago, I was speaking to a friend of mine while she was sick. She told me that she had to keep coughing up phlegm and later that day I remember she mentioned to me that she would have never said that out loud, had she been with a guy she wanted to date lmao.

Same thing happened with another friend of mine 2 weeks ago. I thought she was cute but I had a feeling she wasn't interested in me because she was telling me about all the medicine she was taking to get rid of her sickness like Mucinex and stuff like that. But thanks to what my old friend said, it made me think that if my friend was interested in me, she probably would have kept that medication stuff hidden from me.

It's probably kinda hard to understand what I'm trying to say since I'm horrible at explaining things but yeah lol.

Ooh boy, have I seen plenty of this first hand. Kudos to you, man. Big tell-tale sign. Take note, class!