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Dear Anonymous

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Dear anonymous,

I know I'm being a jerk, and that perhaps I'm not being the friend I should be. You wanted me to pull through, and I didn't. Not even for the reason I said I couldn't. I feel like a dick, cause I've known you for longer, but I'm putting certain people above you. I think you understand, but that doesn't make it right.

Dear anonymous,

Sorry for flaking so hard today. I honestly never did want to play, and I'd been expecting to go somewhere, anyway. I'm glad everyone had fun, though :)

Dear anonymous,

I really hope all this is worth it in the end. I just hope I'll survive.
 
Dear anonymous,

That was my bad, I promise that I didn't have any intention at all to have done what I did, and if I ever did anything else that would make you think otherwise, then I apologize very sincerely. If there was anything that would make you feel better, please tell me what it is at least. I hope you wont hate me. But if you could listen for even a moment maybe you would have understood what circumstances I was under, what was going on isn't probably what you think it was. Think it over, I feel bad enough for doing it.
 
Dear Anonymous,

It's been very perplexing for me to describe the feelings I have for you. To so many others you seem to be some nagging, bossy ♥♥♥♥♥ that no one likes, and while I may not have been exposed to such a possibility—and those kind of women I hate more than anything—you were… special to me. I expressed such naive concern for you while you were here, and now that you're not… it's impossible. I love you more than anything—I'd give up all the money in the world just to live penniless with you, because you're my serenity. I have cash saved up from years ago that I'd soon as light a match to to be with you. These past six months I've been putting myself through an enjoyable torture of bettering myself; the pleasurable factor being the possibility of you as the end result. I'm trying so incredibly hard to make myself appealing to you so that maybe once you date me for a bit you discover who I really am: a smart, quirky, and often awkward boy that sees you as… his clarity. There's so much I'd do for you for nothing in return, and… you haven't been given the opportunity for me to show that to you. If you died I'd happily die with you so I could be with you for eternity, and we could maybe even have the insane pleasure of finding each other and falling in love all over again in our next lives. Wouldn't that be fun?

You know I tense up in your presence, especially when you look at me expectantly. I don't know how to react to such a thing… it's so beautiful and serene; it's the representation of purity. Someone with your appearance will and is going to be caught up in the rush of the teenage dream, and I'd hate to take that away from you. When you're older and have gained wisdom, I hope for my very sake of existence that you'll see how deeply I care about you and who you are. Your body is to me a pretty shell that will be discarded when you die. Unlike your body, your conscience and soul will live on, and so will mine. Which is more important? Your smart mind should be able to deduce such a thing. Still, I always ask myself when thinking of you, "Why are you my serenity?"
 
Dear Anonymous,

I hope you're able to understand the level of joy I experienced today when I finally talked to you. I went to bed at 4 and got up at 7 out of anticipation, which is rare to say the least. I got incredibly frustrated when my mother took the phone to call her sister, and ended up getting so wound up I decided to take a walk to Gate 2 on Fort Carson; I couldn't stand the possibility of not being able to call you. Does that mean anything to you? Do I seem like a caring man or an obsessive boy? When you cancelled my call I was so incredibly angry at myself for bothering you, but when you called back I couldn't have been happier. All that energy—that emotion—was released when I talked to you.

To be perfectly honest, I wish I could've seen Utah with you, and have gone to that swing over the river with you. To me nothing could've been better in that moment. I'm so glad that you want to see me when you come out this summer, and because of it I have saved up $240 in cash to take you to any restaurant you wish to get anything you please.

...I slept after talking to you. I don't know what got into me, but maybe all of that bundled up emotion being lifted just made me incredibly tired. Nonetheless, I'd love to talk to you again, anytime you wish. Finally calling you brought me to remember how light and high your voice is, and I'm glad I remember it now; it's just… breathtaking. I hope you feel a resemblance for me of what I did for you.
 
Dear Anonymous,

No matter how much I cause trouble and cause you anxiety with my school issues, I still love you. I don't do them on purpose. I...I'm just not motivated enough. But I am working on it, if you've noticed.

Trust me, everything will be OK. Please forgive me for all my school issues for over the last 3 1/2 years? ;c

Dear Anonymous,
You're my best friend. This just proves internet relationships can work <3 though it's not a boyfriend girlfriend relationship.

Love you <333

Dear Anonymous,

I still care about you. My lack of coming on and talking to you is my fault. I haven't been the best friend either, but I'm too much of a [female cat] to tell you why I don't come on as often. When I'm not busy with RL.
 
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sorry gav i'll try to text you when you're clothed

dear anon

thank you for keeping me up when others want to keep me down
 
Dear anon,

Was a bit of a jerk to you today. I honestly didn't mean to be, but I just felt left out is all haha. I do care about you and hope you don't hold it against me. Otherwise, facing you is going to be awkward for both of us :<
 
Dear Anonymous,

I'm sorry for continually hurting you. I can't help it anymore. Everything that's been happening to me, and has happened to me growing up... now, I have to figure out my Maladaptive Daydreaming. This life is just so miserable... how could you NOT spend most of your time in your head? Maybe because you can actually have a purpose. A way to survive on this ball of misery. I don't, and I just can't.

I've been doing this for... years, and didn't even realize it until now. I'm twenty-two years old, but... I'm not a man, or a kid. I'm a broken shell of a human being. A nobody. I'm sorry, but if you could just understand that... it's very difficult for me to see anything good about living this sad, sad life. I just can't seem to understand how you, or anyone can enjoy this life.
 
Dear Anonymous,

I'm sorry that I may have left the wrong first impression when you first met me, but at least now you know I'm not the scary mother♥♥♥♥er that you thought I was back in middle school. Now we're close, like an older sister and younger brother type of relationship, and even though we don't hang out as much, I hope you know that I'll always be there for you no matter what.
 
Dear anonymous,
Coming home to find my mother sobbing about your death unexpected. I don't know you at all, but I remember your mother treating me to free stuff all the time as a little child. And she was my mother's best friend. I may have not known you, but from what I've heard, you were a great person. Rest in peace.


Dear anonymous,
I miss you. I don't understand, but I can hold on.
 
Dear Anonymous,

Really Bummed Out That Tiara (AKA, My BFF) Is Banned... Still Trying To Figure Out What Happened... Also Finding It Hard To Go On The Forums With School And Everything So.... It's Been Kinda Stressful. :(

Am I Doing This Right?
 
Dear anonymous,

Well that was a bit depressing, seeing as you probably weren't talking about me. It would have been better had I seen it five days ago, but whatever. I'll try at least one more time.


Dear anonymous,

Come on, you got this! Keep trying. Like, REALLY try. At least you'll be able to say you attempted to, and that's good. Hang in there, bud. :)
 
Dear anonymous,

I've never met you. I wish I had. Judging by the photo your daughter has of you, I can see where her beauty comes from. It's so bizzare and incredibly sad that today is your one year anniversary since passing away from your daughter's life. I literally just found out about half an hour ago, since she doesn't really talk about you too much. Which I can understand. Some stuff is just meant to be personal, I suppose.

I don't know what it's like to lose a mom. I know I'd be crushed and broken if my mom passed away, and I don't know how quickly I'd recover from that. So I can't imagine what it's like for your daughter, who's gone a whole year without you. Who's gone a whole year without seeing your smile or embracing your arms. Your daughter loves you, and she misses you so much, and I wish there was something I could do to help her. A big hug, for sure.

It's amazing how you've come up in my life, somehow. Or, well, been relevant. I had to break up with your daughter because of your husband, and to an extent you. I don't blame him, he was just being a father. I don't mean anything by it, really. I just find it interesting. What I wish I could do is get your approval. I believe in heaven, so I wonder if you're looking down on your daughter, and maybe me, listening to the thoughts that are going through my head that are too difficult to translate to words. I don't even know why I'm doing this. Maybe because I care for your daughter oh so much. I wish I could get your approval. I want your daughter's father's approval, but I can't because she forbid it. I guess this is me just talking to you. And I sincerely hope you're listening, and understand your daughter's pain.

I've rambled enough. I really wish I could have met you, Ms. Please look over your daughter, and shine rays of light with your smile. She can use it. She deserves to be happy.

Rest in peace. Smile from above.
 
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