Gay Conversion Therapy

[Cyru]

I watched a documentary about this kind of thing a few days ago, and I really wanted to know what you guys thought about the whole 'you can choose your sexuality' thing.

Discuss!

By the way, for those interested in the documentary, it's on BBC iPlayer: https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/p00zhq9f/Stacey_Dooley_in_the_USA_Gay_to_Straight/

 

[Kura]

I think it doesn't matter if you could choose or not IMO.. cause what matters to me is if people accept others regardless of their choices. It is no one's right to judge, and if someone is religious, they should still treat someone just as fairly as they do with anyone else.

 

[Lord Varion]

I don't like the whole choice of sexuality, sure you get that one point in your life where you decide to experiment and see which you like. But some people I know reckon you just wake up homosexual. But on another note, he told me, girls can choose to be lesbian. Which is sexist completely, and I don't believe at all, I don't believe girls choose either.

All of this being said, I'm Bisexual, don't know how that looks here, never looks good in my house But I never chose to be, I just have a girlfriend, and we ''get'' with an extra person occasionally. Normally a good friend of mine. I won't say no more to that matter though. ._.

 

[Khawill]

I don't like the whole choice of sexuality, sure you get that one point in your life where you decide to experiment and see which you like. But some people I know reckon you just wake up homosexual. But on another note, he told me, girls can choose to be lesbian. Which is sexist completely, and I don't believe at all, I don't believe girls choose either.

All of this being said, I'm Bisexual, don't know how that looks here, never looks good in my house But I never chose to be, I just have a girlfriend, and we ''get'' with an extra person occasionally. Normally a good friend of mine. I won't say no more to that matter though. ._.

Wel Females and Males are different biologically, it is very possible that maybe the imbalance that makes males gay does not affect females. This isn't sexist, merely (would be) a fact. I mean naturally males are physically stronger, this is a biological fact (though a female can work to be as strong, though harder.)

It isn't sexist to say the biologically females are more emotionally caring than males, especially towards children.

 

[Esper]

It shouldn't matter if people can choose their sexuality because it shouldn't matter if people are gay or straight or whatever.

That said, people who promote "gay conversion therapy" are doing it because they believe there is something wrong with being gay. If they really wanted to help people they're help them accept who they are.

Oh, and it doesn't work in any case.

 

[Shiny Celebi]

I dont believe there is anything wrong with being gay, bi or straight and I dont believe it's something you really choose, I belive its just the way you are. I dont really belive in "gay conversion therapy or whatever, I think people should learn to accept that some people are different and there are some things about people like sexual orientation that you can't control and it's the way people are born.

 

[Khawill]

Okay so "Gay conversion Therapy" makes being homosexual sound like a religious cult of psychopaths, if that is the case I would like to be the first to start the "Scientologist conversion therapy"

Scientology insults aside, I don't know why people care about other people only when it is to be negative or hateful, it is pretty bothersome considering there is better uses of time and money like guitars and vans and tie dye shirts.

 

[gimmepie]

You can't can't choose who you're attracted to whether you're Straight, Gay, Bi or just attracted to a particular physical characteristic in which ever gender(s) you're attracted to. So quite frankly "it's a choice" is a load.

As for conversion therapy, firstly the name makes it sound like it is trying to make people gay like it's a cult. Secondly we shouldn't be trying to change the way people are (unless, you know, they're violent criminals or something). Rather than try to force people to change with a therapy that probably doesn't work we should encourage people to embrace who they are and encourage society as a whole to not discriminate against anyone regardless of race, sex, religion or anything else.

 

[Squirrel]

I must admit that although I know it's certainly not a choice as to whether you like guys, girls or both, I would say there is an element of choice involved in the overall final answer. I've spoken to a lot of guys who claim to be straight but say there's a few guys they would try stuff out with or they're "90/10" etcetera, which would be understandable if it was just one or two guys saying this, but it's actually been a pretty large number of people. So it kind of makes me think that despite having the hormones which make you gay or straight, I wouldn't be that surprised if it turns out that a 'straight' person could easily have a physical and emotional relationship with another member of their own sex, as long as they were 100% comfortable with the situation and held no prejudices about it before entering the relationship. I don't really see gay and straight as two clear definites but more as a continuum that everyone falls into somewhere on the line.

So if the above is true, which there's no real evidence to suggest it is but still hypothetically, that would mean the 'Gay Conversion Therapy' is possible and it could definitely be an option for the people that are very unhappy with their sexuality. I personally think that no one should ever be put in the situation where they would want to change their sexuality and that sexuality is irrelevant for who you are as a person and that it doesn't matter in the slightest bit what sexuality you are, but there are some people that do have a real problem with being gay themselves and hate themselves for it (I guess I'm biased since one of my best friends is gay but she absolutely detests herself for it to the point of attempted suicide) so despite not liking the principle of changing your sexuality like this, I don't think it's a completely bad idea in these extreme circumstances. Although if it was ever offered to the general public or offered just to gay people or similar then I would have a real issue with it; it's certainly something that should only be available to people who've had their lives severely effected by their sexuality. If anyone offered it to me to stop me being gay then I'd be pretty angry to say the least :p

 

[Esper]

I must admit that although I know it's certainly not a choice as to whether you like guys, girls or both, I would say there is an element of choice involved in the overall final answer. I've spoken to a lot of guys who claim to be straight but say there's a few guys they would try stuff out with or they're "90/10" etcetera, which would be understandable if it was just one or two guys saying this, but it's actually been a pretty large number of people. So it kind of makes me think that despite having the hormones which make you gay or straight, I wouldn't be that surprised if it turns out that a 'straight' person could easily have a physical and emotional relationship with another member of their own sex, as long as they were 100% comfortable with the situation and held no prejudices about it before entering the relationship. I don't really see gay and straight as two clear definites but more as a continuum that everyone falls into somewhere on the line.

So if the above is true, which there's no real evidence to suggest it is but still hypothetically, that would mean the 'Gay Conversion Therapy' is possible and it could definitely be an option for the people that are very unhappy with their sexuality. I personally think that no one should ever be put in the situation where they would want to change their sexuality and that sexuality is irrelevant for who you are as a person and that it doesn't matter in the slightest bit what sexuality you are, but there are some people that do have a real problem with being gay themselves and hate themselves for it (I guess I'm biased since one of my best friends is gay but she absolutely detests herself for it to the point of attempted suicide) so despite not liking the principle of changing your sexuality like this, I don't think it's a completely bad idea in these extreme circumstances. Although if it was ever offered to the general public or offered just to gay people or similar then I would have a real issue with it; it's certainly something that should only be available to people who've had their lives severely effected by their sexuality. If anyone offered it to me to stop me being gay then I'd be pretty angry to say the least :p

There's an idea out there that most people are bisexual to some extent. Like 1s and 5s on the Kinsey scale. So it might not be so much a choice of changing your sexuality as much as it is choosing what to do within your sexuality.

Anyway, assuming conversion therapy is possible, would it be a good idea? Would it help people who hate their sexuality, or just give them more bad feelings through the process? (I'm assuming that if it were to work - which it can't - then it would be a painful process.)

 

[Kura]

No I don't think it'd be a good idea, Scarf, because I can see it being used by the parent or guardian to force their kid to go through it :/

 

[FreakyLocz14]

The therapists themselves will tell you that they can't actually change your sexual orientation, but are teaching you how to suppress your homosexuality.

Still, I'm against any form of legislation banning the practice.

 

[Oryx]

It isn't sexist to say the biologically females are more emotionally caring than males, especially towards children.

Yeah it is, you understand much more if you've studied anything related to sociology. But that's not the topic of this thread.

As far as gay conversion therapy, I feel the same way about a choice as Alex does. I think very few of us are 100% either way, and make a choice of how to handle our bits of bisexuality. For example, one person may see themselves as bisexual because they're slightly attracted to the same gender (and mostly attracted to the opposite gender), while another person may consider that straight and label themselves as such.

That being said, gay conversion therapy is still wrong in that it harms people who make that choice or feel that way. Even if it is a "choice" for some people, it's unlikely to be a conscious choice, and becomes a part of who they are. It's a painful, unnecessary process that ends in nothing but heartbreak.

 

[Who's Kiyo?]

Eh, it's a subject that puts a bad taste in my mouth.

The only reason why anyone would detest their sexual orientation is because of the environment they're in. In all honesty, if a child grew up with accepting parents, in an accepting environment, and witness to happy gay couples throughout their lives, if that child were to grow up and find that they're gay or bisexual, would they really find this part of themselves disgusting and uncomfortable when though they've grown up to believe it's a natural and perfectly fine thing?

No. They wouldn't.

See, there's the inherent problem with gay conversion therapy. The only people undergoing it it would be going for the wrong reasons; any discomfort with themselves about it is because they've been instilled to think it's disgusting or wrong. It's created by uneducated and misunderstanding people for the people they misunderstand and don't care to educate themselves about.

Also, what has the patient accomplished if it works? Wow, you've taken that extra step to distort yourself and not accept who you are! Great! Oh? You're a little quirky and you don't like that? NO PROBLEM. WE CAN WHIP THAT **** OUTTA YA IN NO TIME AT ALL.

And nine times out of ten, undergoing this therapy would not be the patient's choice. It would be terrible parents trying to "normalize" their child, and this kind of therapy detrimental for a child's psyche, who don't have enough personal development or reasoning skills to come to terms how they feel about it or even understand what it means for them.

Instead, the world should focus on accepting others for who they are, and be judged based on the content of their character versus their sexual orientation, race, etc. A person in tune with what they have made themselves to be off of what they are at their core is one well adjusted. A person who tries to distort that core and be something they're not is usually someone whose going to have some problems down the road.

There's a reason why this stuff doesn't actually work.

 

[Nick]

You mean gay shaming therapy? All it does is promote insecurity amongst gays who have to take part in it, whether in hopes to actually become straight since they aren't comfortable as it is, or because their parents want them to be straight, or for whatever other reason, into suppressing their sexuality to the point where they adapt a straight lifestyle because they're ashamed of who they really are to such a point where they can't conceive the thought of being with another man/woman. I think the problem is is that people think that you can by choice choose to live a straight or gay lifestyle, so therefore people generalize and oversimplify sexuality into being a choice between one or another, when that isn't the case at all. You don't choose what you're attracted to, just like you don't choose what food flavors dazzle your taste buds the best.

 

[Echidna]

The only thing this kind of therapy would do is broadcast: "If you are gay you aren't supposed to be. It's a disease and we have a cure"
:/

And quite frankly, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being gay. Everyone can live life like they want to, in other words, if you are gay you should live like that regardless of what other people think. It's disgusting how some people hate gays, I mean, no, just, no. >_>

That being said, I don't think anyone gets to choose their sexuality. According to research and what I've studied in college, it is not entirely known whether being gay is caused by environmental factors, or biological factors. The most common saying is that both can play a role and/or each alone can influence sexuality. One kind of research revealed that a certain allele of a gene is more dominantly present in homosexuals than it is in heterosexuals, while some homosexuals don't have the allele and vice-versa.

Either way, if your genes determine your sexuality there isn't really anything you can do, and if the way you were raised influences your sexuality, you're generally too young to try to alternate your life style to change the outcome. You don't exactly know what gay even means when you're 1-4 which is scientifically the stage where almost every human gains the experience that shapes who they are.

So tl;dr, you don't get to choose your sexuality and any kind of therapy is not a good idea at all.

 

[droomph]

Still, I'm against any form of legislation banning the practice.

I think you don't quite understand. If people were perfect, they would just provide help, but in reality it's totally unscientific and damages the people's emotional and mental health. My psychologist (he has a P.h.D and works actively in researching psychology, so he's no run-of-the-mill asshats like we are) said that there is no real way for this to work.

And I honestly know that only I can put myself through this kind of therapy.

I have indeed done it to myself, and I know that if anyone else were to force that process on me I would just be more homosexual just because they've pissed me off with their ignorance.

I have decided that being gay is wrong. For me. I don't know and I don't care if it's just a bias against myself from the Church and society, or I really believe it, but I think that way. I understand - others might think otherwise. If they choose to, they can do it to themselves.

If they need help, there's no reason to have a "professional" whip it out of you. You should talk to a trusted adult, as cliché as that might sound, but it really works.

There's no need to pay someone to do this. You could spend it on whatever you truly love, instead of wasting it on this thing which needlessly exists.

I...am at a loss for words. People like that. I don't want to say you make me feel disgusted, but you do. I...can't bear to live in a world where people treat each other like that. I...hope that people will see.

And just to let y'all know, I believe it's caused by just...chance. I remember being straight, then bi, then gay all in a couple of weeks when I started going through puberty, and not knowing why. I couldn't help it. I became that way when I went through puberty. I couldn't help it. I didn't really like it either, what could I say? I had been brought up to supposedly like girls. But...that's how it was. And I came to accept that I couldn't be "sexual" in life in the normal sense. And I'm good with that.

I hope this helps all of you to understand how being gay works. It's most definitely not a choice, for guys at least. For girls? I don't know, I'm not a girl. But I would assume it would be mostly the same.

 

[gimmepie]

I don't see any need for explaining "What it is like to be gay" in that sense, nor why different sexualities should be treated so differently. Attraction feels the same to everyone regardless of who you are attracted to. Correct me if I am wrong since I myself wouldn't know, but really isn't it exactly the same as feeling attracted to a person of the opposite gender, except it is towards the same? I don't see how two people of the same gender being attracted is any different to a tall man being attracted to petite women or a larger lady being attracted to a muscled man. All this "therapy" does is help separate people and drive us away from fellow people. It is no different to the warring that goes on between different religions or the segregation of races. Why can't we just accept that some people are different to others? Nobody criticises people who are into rough sexual behaviour, they call it "kinky". Society needs to accept that all attraction is the same, we are just all attracted to different things be that a specific race, body type or even gender.

 

[Alex]

I think it's very hard to have an opinion on this without having at least experimented with someone of the same sex. I know that my attraction to girls is immediate and almost primal when I see a good-looking girl. I can't say the same about boys. I can identify a good-looking guy but in no way do I have an attraction to him. It must be something chemical in the brain. Which would lead me to think that you don't have a choice. However, I don't want to say you're born with it. Most kids are conditioned to think they should fall for someone of the opposite sex. Chemical balances in the brain can change, and therefore your attractions can change. But does that mean people truly have no control over their sexual orientation and it can just flip fop throughout their lives? I'd rather not think that. What if I'm married at 46, have a beautiful child and I wake up and want to leave my wife. And if attraction truly is just chemical balances, we could technically develop a Gay Pill, which when popped regularly, attracts you to people of your own gender.

I don't really know. I think the answer lies in the secret to what causes attraction. Sure I could probably look it up but I'm lazy.

 

[Aeon.]

As someone who can feel attraction towards either gender, I think the idea of it 'being a choice' or that 'it can be changed' is a bit silly. Well, maybe except for the latter since the origins don't seem to be 100% known. I don't have a choice to be so, the choice I do have though is whether or not I want to embrace it (which I do.) This 'conversion' stuff seems like it would do more harm than it would actually help people.