Hey guys,
This may be a bit more serious but I'd really like some advice. I really dislike airing my dirty laundry in public, but I really don't have anyone else to turn to for this issue. My girlfriend of four years left me last week for another man. She left me a message on Facebook which was her confession to having feelings for this other man and that she needs time apart from me to figure out what she wants. She sent this message overnight so I wouldn't have time to respond, and she changed her phone number and blocked me on all social media. I took the hint and washed my hands clean of her, she has no way of contacting me either. I'm done with her, but I'm having a very, very difficult time moving on. This is the first time that I've ever had my heart shattered, and I've been trying to keep busy but everything is reminding me of her. I've been trying to keep busy and I've got a lot of love from my family, but it's still very difficult to accept and heal.
Now for my question. Her and I used to play video games all the time together. She's the reason why I bought a 3DS and Pokemon, I wanted her and I to play together and we did. When I play video games, no matter what it is, it reminds me of my ex and it just tears me apart. I really want to play Pokemon again but it's too painful right now. How do I cope and move past this? I want to enjoy video games again, but I'm just having a hard time playing by myself. I've tried to play video games again but it just depresses me even more. I really want to move past this and enjoy gaming again, but I'm just not sure how to do it. How do I move on and enjoy gaming again?
I can't possibly relate to something like this, but I'm going to try anyways. Bear with me while I babble like an idiot.
A good amount of years ago, my sister was still in high school. This isn't one of those high school love drama stories, though. No, my sister decided to settle for only the best; a random dude she met on Xbox Live. You probably see where this is going. In retrospect, it made sense. She was an Honors student who feared the dreaded "B" grade. My district's high school has plenty of opportunities but little student interest. She had superficial friends and real problems she wanted an escape from. A boyfriend from outside her life seemed like the perfect answer.
Surprise! He broke up with her. I was only in middle school at the time, yet I still remember those first few days. Everyone in the family tried to cheer her up every way they could. I remember we all went to a restaurant together and got her favorite dish, homemade mac & cheese, the restaurant quality stuff. And she said, "It just doesn't make me happy anymore". She couldn't bring herself to play video games anymore. Visibly, it was only a couple days, though knowing my family she could have been hiding the pain for months.
A couple months later, she starts getting messages from her old boyfriend. He wants to get back together. I can't imagine how hard that decision would be. I think that's when she knew. Why would she want to be with someone who caused her such pain? She says no, and sure enough, her boyfriend gets desperate. He goes from "please take me back!" to "I will ****ing kill you if you don't take me back". I haven't really thought about it until now, but she must have been struggling. But would she have really helped him if they got back together? They would have brought each other down, crippled each other. I can't begin to imagine what it was like in her shoes.
I'm not going to pretend her story is your story. If we all had the same, exact experiences in life, we'd all see things and we all feel about things the same way. I've hope I've explained my experience. If it helps, she's gotten a four-year full ride to a top 100 school, and a new boyfriend. I don't even know how she did it. But I truly think love is a drug. Like any addiction, it takes time. There could be relapses, and you'll need to be strong through them. Get help, someone who can be there with you. If there's no one you can trust, get a psychologist, and make sure it's a good psychologist too. If you can't get a psychologist, try a shot in the dark. Maybe a co-worker, I don't know, I'm not living your life. I'm just rambling at this point.
But there is one thing I think I know. If video games are making you depressed, then maybe you shouldn't try to play video games now. You don't need to accelerate the healing process if it's going to drive you over the edge. You will be able to play video games one of these days, but it doesn't have to be today.
