Loss of friendships after parting ways.

[Nick]

This is not a moping thread for me. Just a realization and question for you.

I feel I'm exceptionally well liked by the people in my life. People think I'm funny and seem to be interested in what I have to say and appreciate me. I'm occasionally invited places and do my best to include people in my own plans. And I feel I have friendships with people.

But when I look back at people I had thought to be friends with, I can't think of many that seem to be interested in maintaining a friendship with me after we have somewhat parted ways in life. I attempt to communicate with these people frequently with minimal to no reciprocation. In fact, the only people who seem at all interested are my friends who I met online first.

Do you relate to this?

 

[pastelspectre]

lets seee.... i've lost a lot of friends in life. a lot of them, we just stopped talking and drifted apart. or they said they would never leave me and they left me, and then never talked to me again. it sucks but it's life. however i think i've made a better group of friends now. even if they're online they still mean a lot to me and i cherish their friendship.

so i can relate, yeah.

 

[Esper]

I've lost touch with many people so I know what it's like from that side, the side that doesn't really try to keep in touch. It's just a lot of work, to be honest. At some point the things in your immediate life take over most or all of your time and keeping in touch with people requires more planning and taking time out of other things you do. People are going to drift apart because of that, either because they aren't interested in putting in the effort or because they just don't have time or space to. But other things will come in and fill the space. And if you make the extra effort you can rekindle some friendships. They just won't be exactly like they had been.

 

[Corrin]

Yeah, I lost a lot of childhood friends after moving here, they had no reason to keep up with me it seems.
It doesn't matter to me, I have new friends.

 

[Lunar]

I'm not at the stage where I've had to part ways with any of my friends, but one of my best friends since I was like 3 surprisingly moved to Singapore when we were 13. Although I'm really glad cause he comes back every year or so to visit and we still keep in contact so hopefully that stays the same :)

 

[User19sq]

I've lost quite the number of friends, now. For different reasons.

Online: We simply drifted apart. That's it.

IRL: I haven't the money to attain necessities, like a ride, cell, etc., and simply can't communicate with others enough to be important to them anymore.

I know what it feels to be completely alone, now. When one soul is left, it becomes meaningless.

 

[Her]

people drift apart for all sorts of reasons and aren't obligated to spend their emotional energy if they don't feel like it is worth it, but this is a bit of an impersonal response. something being 'the way life is' doesn't negate any possible hurt one may feel from the dissolving of a friendship. i don't really get hung up on such things since i find it hard to relate to people in the first place, and so am prepared for the possibility of things changing and losing contact. i have a core group of four or five people it'd break my heart if i truly lost contact with and everyone else i just try to make the most out of while i can.

 

[Bay]

Yeah, there are times where I lost contact with former friends/acquaintances, whether it be because I wasn't good at keeping contact or suddenly someone else didn't want to contact me anymore. For the latter, even though I might have a feeling our friendship wasn't going to last, it still made me sad with me thinking perhaps I did something wrong.

One of the biggest things I'm guilty of in my life is not really keeping in touch with people. This applies to every single job I've had, this applies to my former high school classmates who I never speak with anymore, so on and so forth. It's not like I intentionally don't want to talk to them, it's just that most of the time I'm busy, and other times I just don't know what to say to them. I want to put up more of a conversation than just "hey" and I think that's where my mind kind of has a brain fart everytime the thought of talking to an old friend pops up.

I can relate to this. I too sometimes have a hard time making conversation whenever I meet an old friend. Maybe it's because I'm convinced we probably don't have much in common anymore and are now living different lives.

 

[Dter ic]

I've lost contact with my closest friends after they've entered uni. I suppose it is bound to happen when everyone goes to different places and now it doesn't feel right when it boils down to just "hey" ;/

Starting from scratch and making new friends is a great experience however.

 

[Aeroblast]

Well, I've had to start from fresh completely after moving to US from S.Korea when I was 10, then I moved around quite a lot and changed schools frequently so I didn't have time to forge long lasting friendships with anybody, didn't really help that I wasn't even that good at English back when I first came here.

I suppose growing up in this environment is why I don't want to strike friendships often.

 

[Tsutarja]

I lost a bunch of friends a year ago when they all decided to make a new friend circle with one-another and not include me in it. Then I look back today and realize it was for the better of myself, because they weren't the best to be around and always acted immature (like screaming loudly and almost getting kicked out of stores at the mall) whenever we hung out outside of school. It made me feel a little slummed at first because I had been with them for a good two years already, but I've moved on and I expect that I'll make new friends as I continue onward with life.

 

[Metatron]

Oh man, I'm going through a bit of this now, haha.

I totally feel that, it's hard keeping up with everyone you've ever formed a friendship with. Life goes on and people change, interests change, availability changes. We're all constantly leaving people in the past every day of our lives without even realizing it, then years later it might hit us, "oh hey, whatever happened to so and so?"

It sucks but all you can really do is your best to stay in contact with those you value and hope that they do the same. If the person cares for you as much as you do for them, they'll find a way to make time for you. If not, then take the good memories you have with that person and put your energy elsewhere.

That's what I tell myself, anyway.

 

[Cariad]

growing up naturally leads to a loss of friends, so i think i've lost a considerable number of close friends in recent years. offline it was mostly bc we changed interests, went to different colleges or simply found new ppl, whereas online most of my lost relationships have been bc of fights or general disagreements, occasionally just general drifting apart. honestly i don't mind it much, i understand that we parted ways for a reason & i have friends who luv me atm.

 

[Bellsprout]

friendship is a two way street. the people who really want to be in your life will make an effort to be there. right now my life is really busy. a lot of times i dont get to certain people for a week or so. i think it's a pretty normal part of life, but if you're experiencing it a lot maybe you're just not making very deep connections. it's easy to be friendly with others and have a casual friendship, but they don't last if you're apart