~Make A Wish and have it horribly corrupted ~

Granted, but everyone hearing it will fall asleep and out of frustration you'll start drawing mustaches and beards on them with a permanent marker, which will eventually lead to your arrest =\

I wish for a comfy blanket.

Spoiler:
 
Granted. It's super heavy and causes muscle aches when you're done using it.

I wish my scalp would stop itching.
 
Granted, but its OS is Windows 95 :)

I wish for a big teddy bear to hug at night.
 
Granted, but it carries a wild virus that makes people cough and paralyses the whole planet for two years :(

I wish my glasses weren't dirty all the time.
 
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