Marrying someone with a different religion

[deathpool]

Can it be done? If both are avid followers of their respective religions, then everyday life will be affected and they will be split on many things. I'm not sure love would prevail over something that's so important and prominent in people's lives. What do you guys think? Anyone with experience, how is it going/how did it go?

 

[Palamon]

...Sure, why not? My Aunt is Jewish, and my Uncle is Lutheran. Religion is blown over the top, anyway, let's be honest. How it worked with them is that they followed both holidays, so it's not really a problem. Religion is not something that should affect one's love life, anyway.

 

[Midnight shadow]

I guess it comes down to the individuals in question, as to whether they can accept that their partner has different religious beliefs to them. This isn't as hard as it sounds, in fact my ex-partner and I had very different views. He was a spiritualist while I was a humanist. These conflicting beliefs didn't stop us loving each other.

After that comes the practical side of things, making sure you live in a place where you both can practice your beliefs (i.e. both have nearby places of worship to go to).

 

[Margot]

I think it can work completely fine. In fact, my father was raised Muslim while my mother was raised Catholic and they've been happily married for over 35 years. You have to go into it not expecting to convert the other, to accept these differences and to appreciate them. In fact, growing up in a two religion household is one of the reasons why I think I'm so open minded to religion in general. It was never pushed that one was better than the other.

So I agree, it all comes down to the individuals and whether or not they go into relationships looking for someone of the same faith.

 

[Dusty]

I think it comes down just to how religious the two people are. Two extremely religious people who don't want to sacrifice parts of their own faith probably should not marry outside of their own faith. And a lot of it isn't really about the parents but the kids. After all, if two people really do love each other, they should be able to set aside differences like religion for the sake of love. Where it gets complicated is with kids. What faith should they follow? Do they go to church with the mother or the father? Or not at all? I think a lot of it comes down to how willing to compromise the two people are, and how they are agreed to deal with any kids when it comes to religious differences.

 

[Her]

question for those belonging to judaism/those with a better understanding than myself: often in media (particularly sitcoms), someone marrying into a jewish family has to convert to the faith in order for the marriage to happen, but just how true to life is this? i can recall some marriages in real life where conversion has happened, but i'm unsure if this is the standard or a common form of politeness or whatever. is this a requirement for all who actively take part in judaism or is it an exaggeration by tv and the like, as jewish culture is familiar enough to mainstream viewers to vaguely understand and therefore use as a plot line, as opposed to the total 'otherness' of islamic culture. forgive my ignorance on the matter, i'm only well-versed on catholicism.

 

[Somewhere_]

It depends how serious they are about their religion. My guess is that it wouldnt work out if they are too conflicting. My aunt and uncle divorced and they practiced different religions. I think it caused a lot of division between the two of them.

I guess it really just depends on the couple.

 

[Esper]

Some religions aren't as intense and demanding as others, but they're beliefs and if they're something that affects how you live your life then if there's a conflict or contradiction I can see problems. But if you religion is just about how you pray and you keep your spiritual and secular lives pretty separate I can't see why it wouldn't work.

Someone I know who is Muslim got married and her husband converted before the marriage. I think it was mostly for the sake of the extended family being okay with the marriage, but I imagine it was for that reason alone and he didn't really change his beliefs or anything. (And why would it?) But their relationship didn't last in the end, though I don't know if religion was a factor in that.

question for those belonging to judaism/those with a better understanding than myself: often in media (particularly sitcoms), someone marrying into a jewish family has to convert to the faith in order for the marriage to happen, but just how true to life is this? i can recall some marriages in real life where conversion has happened, but i'm unsure if this is the standard or a common form of politeness or whatever. is this a requirement for all who actively take part in judaism or is it an exaggeration by tv and the like, as jewish culture is familiar enough to mainstream viewers to vaguely understand and therefore use as a plot line, as opposed to the total 'otherness' of islamic culture. forgive my ignorance on the matter, i'm only well-versed on catholicism.

My friend has a Jewish dad and a not-really-anything mom and she never converted when they were married. But as far as I know he wasn't really super religious or anything.

 

[Kanzler]

question for those belonging to judaism/those with a better understanding than myself: often in media (particularly sitcoms), someone marrying into a jewish family has to convert to the faith in order for the marriage to happen, but just how true to life is this? i can recall some marriages in real life where conversion has happened, but i'm unsure if this is the standard or a common form of politeness or whatever. is this a requirement for all who actively take part in judaism or is it an exaggeration by tv and the like, as jewish culture is familiar enough to mainstream viewers to vaguely understand and therefore use as a plot line, as opposed to the total 'otherness' of islamic culture. forgive my ignorance on the matter, i'm only well-versed on catholicism.

I think it's just a misconception perpetrated by the media. It might be something that's true in scripture, but less people take seriously nowadays.

 

[Bellsprout]

i think anything can be done if both parties are willing and understanding.

for me this is actually a huge deal breaker, unless they go about their beliefs without imposing them on me and also letting me continue what i want to believe without criticism. i'd be up to hear their thoughts but if i don't agree then i would expect them to understand that. i'm into all that mystical bullshit lol so they have to be okay with me doing that stuff for it to work between us. my experience has just been i either find guys who find it interesting/they think it's bullshit/it scares them and they want no part. i've been able to deal with the first two, but if i'm seeing a guy who is freaked out by it i know the end is near lol

 

[curiousnathan]

You're not going to marry someone if you're going to fight over each other's religion are you?

 

[Fannie]

As long as the couple are prepared to compromise if kids come into the equation I don't see why it couldn't work out.

 

[Livewire]

A really good friend of my parents' who was Protestant, married a girl who was practicing Hindu a few years back in a giant hindu wedding. Now, while they ended up getting divorced, it was due to differences over wanting to have kids, jobs, stress, etc., the usual suspects that can unwind marriages. I'm sure a big cultural difference like that one may have factored into the divorce equation some, but I felt it was truly a difference of opinion, personality traits, etc., not religious differences that ended their marriage.

 

[crimsoncero]

question for those belonging to judaism/those with a better understanding than myself: often in media (particularly sitcoms), someone marrying into a jewish family has to convert to the faith in order for the marriage to happen, but just how true to life is this? i can recall some marriages in real life where conversion has happened, but i'm unsure if this is the standard or a common form of politeness or whatever. is this a requirement for all who actively take part in judaism or is it an exaggeration by tv and the like, as jewish culture is familiar enough to mainstream viewers to vaguely understand and therefore use as a plot line, as opposed to the total 'otherness' of islamic culture. forgive my ignorance on the matter, i'm only well-versed on catholicism.

In Israel, there is one way to get married(if were born Jewish) and it's in a Jewish wedding. This is because Israel politics and religion are not quite separated. So if someone wants to marry a Jewish person in Israel, they need to convert(which is a tough and long process, as far as I know). But I believe that in every country that have non religious marriage (can't find the proper term for it), it should be fine, unless they want to get married in the orthodox way, which will be similar to Israel.

In my opinion, if two people can fall in love in each other, despite their differences, religion should not be a problem as much as race is not a problem today. Moreover, on the topic of kids, if the two parents can live with their different religion, I think the kids will grow into a house full of different customs and when they'll grow up they would be able to choose what religion to follow, if any, and maybe both.
Religion true essence, in my opinion is quite similar, and there are many things that can shape each person beliefs, love being one of them.

 

[Her]

In Israel, there is one way to get married(if were born Jewish) and it's in a Jewish wedding. This is because Israel politics and religion are not quite separated. So if someone wants to marry a Jewish person in Israel, they need to convert(which is a tough and long process, as far as I know). But I believe that in every country that have non religious marriage (can't find the proper term for it), it should be fine, unless they want to get married in the orthodox way, which will be similar to Israel.

Thanks for the clarification (and both Kanzler and Esper as well)! Again, sorry for my lack of knowledge on the matter. I was just raised in a house of Super Catholics and haven't done much reading on the parts of the Bible applicable to Judaism.

It's so jarring to me to see such a close, official (key word here) relationship between a country and the majority religion in it. Very odd indeed to someone like me who only lives in a country unofficially influenced by religious/Christian policy.

 

[Sanguine]

i think anything can be done if both parties are willing and understanding.

for me this is actually a huge deal breaker, unless they go about their beliefs without imposing them on me and also letting me continue what i want to believe without criticism. i'd be up to hear their thoughts but if i don't agree then i would expect them to understand that. i'm into all that mystical bullshit lol so they have to be okay with me doing that stuff for it to work between us. my experience has just been i either find guys who find it interesting/they think it's bullshit/it scares them and they want no part. i've been able to deal with the first two, but if i'm seeing a guy who is freaked out by it i know the end is near lol

Sorry if I'm prying, but what do you mean by mystical bullshit? Do most people react a certain way?

Personally, religious differences aren't usually an issue in my relationships unless the other party's really strict about it - I think I'd feel a bit too restricted. It may work for others though, it just comes down to how far they're willing to compromise.

 

[Bellsprout]

Sorry if I'm prying, but what do you mean by mystical bull****? Do most people react a certain way?

lol i didn't exactly eloquently put it. basically witchcraft, though as of right now i haven't gone full fledged into it. i typically keep it to myself because i'm not one to draw attention to myself at all, but for the people who find out somehow they either think it's really cool, are scared by it, or are just very skeptical.

 

[RegalSin]

Old question. People need to grow up. Usually this occurs when the people are weak in there own culture preferences or come from worst situations where the bread winner is in a better situation.

 

[xleftranx]

I think it depends on each individual, as some people will strongly to do the same religious practices and spiritual journeys, some people do not necessarily think that is more important than just having a good time together. It really depends on the individual needs as different people need different things to make them believe they are happy xD