[Completed] Small Writing Competition

[Aquacorde]

sigh

stay tuned

 

[Aquacorde]

alright it's in, tia for the participation points ( b◜‿◝ )b♡

 

[Bay]

We got your entries Eleanor, Venia, and Anna!

Also, you have 3 hours left to submit entries! We'll also be accepting revisions then too!

 

[Duck]

Sent an entry.

Hope it doesn't make you give up on literature as an art form after reading it <3

 

[Venia Silente]

Just in case this makes it in, I've sent a revised version to the judges. It's mostly minor fixes, but you never know, not in this business!

Good luck everyone!

 

[5qwerty]

Sent my entry. Thought I wouldn't enter, then wrote all of this crap in the last day FML.

 

[Aquacorde]

Sent my entry. Thought I wouldn't enter, then wrote all of this crap in the last day FML.

aint that a mood

 

[Juno]

Literally sent with 1 minute to spare and a super rushed ending I regret so much already because otherwise I loved my story idea 😭 but I did it lmao

 

[Bay]

We got your entries Radio, 5qwerty, and Juno! We also got your revised version, Venia.

And that's time! Thanks to everyone who has submitted an entry for the SWC. The judges will be reading and scoring the entries, results should be posted within a few days!

 

[Venia Silente]

Sent my entry. Thought I wouldn't enter, then wrote all of this crap in the last day FML.

Officially welcome to writers! :p

 

[gimmepie]

Scoring Breakdown

This was another great year with some excellent writing and really interesting story concepts. Before we get into the total scores and placings, below is a break down of how each judge scored every entry and some comments from us about your stories.

VisionofMilotic

GP's Score

Spoiler:

Attempting to meet the criteria for the SWC with a short poem (one in a less common style at that) was ambitious. That being said, I think you actually managed to pull it off quite well. You kept your spelling and grammar tight, even factoring in manipulating how it appeared line-by-line, and you did a good job capturing Eusine as a character and the melancholy of chasing after a goal you keep failing to reach. Of course, while I really liked that, the overwhelming sense of melancholy, not of frustration (although the inspiration and link to the prompt was clearly there), was something I couldn't help but be aware of reading it as a judge.

That being said, as a story, the only part that was really lacking is plot, but that's understandable given the format you chose to submit in.

Spelling and Grammar: 10
Characterization, Plot and Description: 6
Relevance to Prompt: 7

Total Score: 23/30

bobandbill's score

Spoiler:

I enjoyed this - a neat concept and take on a failed Eusine. Short but sweet!

There was a minor inconsistency on how the last line did not start capitalised, despite nothing really separating it from other lines:

To this Burned Tower. I climb
On blistered feet, crumbled tiles
and dreams, without my North Wind.

I did like the choice of 'dreams' - not necessarily a bad thing in itself like blistered feet or crumbled tiles, but it gives it a unique feel.

I did feel like Eusine was more resigned or defeated rather than frustrated.

Spelling and Grammar: 9
Characterization, Plot and Description: 7
Relevance to Prompt: 7

Total Score: 23/30

Bay's Score

Spoiler:

Oh, an interesting Eusine piece there! I admit to not have heard of that type of Japanese poetry until now, but it does well showcasing Eusine's frustration over chasing Suicuine in so few words. Some of my favorite lines are "chasing your spectral rumor" and "On blistered feet, crumbled titles, and dreams."

Because this is a poem instead of a short story prose, the plot, characterization, and description segment is harder to judge. I think the description is nice and the characterization of a frustrated Eusine is spot on. Plot is harder to grunge. If you have this as a short story I think something like the few times Eusine tried to catch Suicuine but didn't succeed would make the plot aspect easier to judge. This is still a lovely piece overall, though!

Spelling and Grammar: 10
Characterization, Plot and Description: 7
Relevance to Prompt: 9

Total Score: 26/30

Hyzenthlay

GP's Score

Spoiler:

This was a really sweet and heart-warming story. Something I liked about this was that while you clearly focused on a singular one of the prompts (as we asked), Contentment in this case, by doing so you also captured the hidden essence of its inverse (Frustration) and how the two are entwined.

This story had a lot of "storybook energy" for me. I could picture it clearly in my head not just as the beautiful scenery described and events playing out, but as illustrated stills like one might see in a classically-styled children's picture book. I would say that you should be careful with those descriptions though. You crafted some beautiful imagery, but sometimes you were towing the line of unnecessary, flowery poetics. You never quite went too far, but it's something to be aware of. Sometimes it's okay to just call things what they are.

There were a couple of very small grammatical blips as well, but nothing hugely significant.

Spelling and Grammar: 8
Characterization, Plot and Description: 10
Relevance to Prompt: 10

Total Score: 28/30

bobandbill's Score

Spoiler:

A great entry, with its unique style and feel. I felt that it managed to have both prompts in it, which was nice, and going through each of the eeveelution aspects was cool and tied up nicely in the end.

My one complaint (besides the odd typo here and there) would be the description being a tad too flowery for my liking - a bit overblown at times when something a bit more direct would serve better, despite the storybook sort of feel achieved here.

Spelling and Grammar: 8
Characterization, Plot and Description: 9
Relevance to Prompt: 10

Total Score: 27/30

Bay's Score

Spoiler:

Aw this is a cute piece! While stories with an Eevee unsure what to/not wanting to evolve isn't new, this fits the theme of contentment well. I like that the Eevee tried various environments to see if any of the evolutions fits it but then was fine being itself in the end.

Just curious, was there a reference for Sylveon somewhere? If there was one I probably missed it haha.

Spelling and Grammar: 9
Characterization, Plot and Description: 10
Relevance to Prompt: 10

Total Score: 29/30

Eleanor

GP's Score

Spoiler:

This was a very interesting concept: a letter home from a woman who let her fantasies and ambitions get ahead of her. Yet she isn't willing to accept her own culpability for her current misery, she places all the blame on an adoring parent. It's fascinating, because she is right that there seems to be a failure to prepare her for the real world, but she is completely ignorant to her own active role in her growth as a person. This story was a great character study.

The unique format you chose to write in provided a direct look into the mind of the "writer," but I do have to admit that it took a little bit for me to sink into points. Nothing major, but I had to adapt to a style of storytelling that had little to do with progression. That's not really a problem, but I felt like it was worth mentioning.

What I will critique is that the execution could have been a little cleaner in places. There were a couple of places where the wording was a little unclear or certain words or pieces of punctuation were missing. Early on there was also an extremely long run-on sentence.

Overall, this was really good work and I liked it a lot. Just be careful not to let the pressure of a deadline get to you and be sure to edit thoroughly.

Spelling and Grammar: 7
Characterization, Plot and Description: 8
Relevance to Prompt: 10

Total Score: 25/30

bobandbill's Score

Spoiler:

This addressed the prompt quite well - the feeling of frustration, and theme of it, shone throughout, so well done there. I also quite liked the letter style here, which gives the story a unique perspective.

There's a few parts that were a little messy, which did get in the way of the story and sometimes my initial understanding of a sentence.

Spelling and Grammar: 7
Characterization, Plot and Description: 7
Relevance to Prompt: 10

Total Score: 24/30

Bay's Score

Spoiler:

This is an interesting piece here. I enjoyed the development of the narrator's frustration towards their wish of getting into big star roles and being recognized but not able to. This is not too far off for many people that tried that career but didn't quite make it. Probably not the most plot piece of yours, but some of the prose is nice. My favorite being "It fades away like a man in the fog, walking away from you and reappearing somewhere else before disappearing again."

Spelling and Grammar: 8
Characterization, Plot and Description: 8
Relevance to Prompt: 8

Total Score: 24/30

Aquacorde

GP's Score

Spoiler:

Ah, this was fun. It reminds me of another story from the last Get-Together with the way we are slowly brought to the realisation the protagonist isn't actually human. I'm thinking cat not dog, but it's hard to say for sure. It's not really an important detail, but I did enjoy the slow burn reveal. Great concept.

You did a really good job of capturing the pet's growing frustration. At first, it felt like you were leaning more into despair. By the end though, I could feel the palpable frustration and tension. The "messiness" to the writing style; cut-off sentences and clipped paragraphs were a great way to communicate how the protagonist was feeling.

You mentioned this being a rushed piece though, and that does come through a bit. Not much is done to characterise your protagonist beyond their intense desperation - and maybe a little hint of scheming at the end. I feel like the piece would have been able to come into its own more with a little more time to breathe too.

Spelling and Grammar: 8
Characterization, Plot and Description: 6
Relevance to Prompt: 10

Total Score: 24/30

bobandbill's Score

Spoiler:

Hah, this was clever. I liked the reveal gradually becoming apparent, and it made the story worth the quick re-read as well once I appreciated who (or what) the protagonist likely was. And the style of writing fitted it well too!

...that said, the style was a touch messy in places that could be tightened up a little bit more, to really make the most of the story.

Spelling and Grammar: 8
Characterization, Plot and Description: 8
Relevance to Prompt: 10

Total Score: 26/10

Bay's Score

Spoiler:

I admit to deciding if the POV you're going for is either a baby's or a pet's. I thought a baby at first, but after a couple readthroughs it seems you're leaning more towards a pet. Either way, I think you did well showcasing that through the writing style. Either way, I feel some of the phrasing and words might be a bit advanced for the POV you're going for? An example being "My harsh breaths bouncing off the tile mask the gentle draft of freshness." Probably just me though. I still liked this overall, though!

Spelling and Grammar: 9
Characterization, Plot and Description: 7
Relevance to Prompt: 9

Total Score: 25/30

Radio

GP's Score

Spoiler:

This was a fun concept as well; the misery of the Rotom stuck into human technology. Framing it as a miserable dead-end job was an interesting idea and the idea of all our digital constructs sharing some sort of community is an amusing one as well.

I think though, that your story would have benefited a lot from leaning heavier into the sense of being trapped in the Rotomi PC and the unpleasantness of that task. As it stood, the rapid pacing in an effort to drop plenty of references hurt your ability to communicate how your character was feeling and to develop your setting. You had a really cool idea that I'd love to see you revisit again/explore more, but it almost felt like you lacked confidence to really lean into it.

Spelling and Grammar: 5
Characterization, Plot and Description: 4
Relevance to Prompt: 7

Total Score: 16/30

bobandbill's Score

Spoiler:

Poor Rotom. Almost makes me forgive it for bzzt'ing at me too often back in gen 7. Almost. =p

The concept is certainly neat, and would be worth expanding upon. As the entry stands though, it felt a bit too unfinished and unpolished, with some simple typos lying about that could be fixed, and a bit of pacing that could be addressed too. The story did move from the dinner to uncomfortable questions to crying in bed (or well, one for Rotom), the end.

Spelling and Grammar: 5
Characterization, Plot and Description: 5
Relevance to Prompt: 8

Total Score: 18/30

Bay's Score

Spoiler:

So I admit it took me a few readthroughs until I figure out this piece focuses on the Rotom phone. Nice little piece on Rotomi's perspective as Rotom in the last couple games does seem to get a bit of personality. Poor Rotomi though feeling depressed there.

Spelling and Grammar: 7
Characterization, Plot and Description: 7
Relevance to Prompt: 7

Total Score: 21/30

Venia Silente

GP's Score

Spoiler:

I'm going to open by commending you on your characterisation of Taverna. You captured his mindset and personality very well. I could critique the lack of characterisation most of the other characters had, but I think this was probably an intentional choice. Taverna, your PoV character, would not have thought that hard about interpreting the whims of lesser beings. This was an interesting slice of life look into the life of the island's apex predator (ish).

That being said, while your story flowed smoothly and your character work was top-notch, I think you could have done more to encapsulate the prompt as it was rare that any particularly strong sense of contentment or frustration was present. There were a few small grammatical blips too, but nothing significant there.

Spelling and Grammar: 9
Characterization, Plot and Description: 10
Relevance to Prompt: 6

Total Score: 25/30

bobandbill's Score

Spoiler:

An excellent slice of life story, although I feel in regards to the prompt, while contentment was certainly there, it didn't quite seem integrated into the whole story. Various parts were maybe a touch disjointed as well - they didn't quite mesh seamlessly for my liking. The characterisation of the Salamence was fantastic and I certainly would like to read more about its adventures as the prime dragon of the island (second dragon aside).

A couple small typos appeared here and there - nothing too major but a bit more proofing would have helped.

Spelling and Grammar: 8
Characterization, Plot and Description: 9
Relevance to Prompt: 8

Total Score: 25/30

Bay's Score

Spoiler:

This is a nice little slice of life piece of a Salamence here. The beginning was a bit slow but then the other segments has some fun interactions with the other Pokemon in it. I admit I had to think a bit which of the two prompts you're going for, which I believe is contentment with the ending of Taverna with the other dragon? Hm, also interesting here you don't have dialogue for the Pokemon, which I think was a stylistic choice for this story. I don't mind that, but from your other works I'm used to having your Pokemon's characterization through dialogue.

Spelling and Grammar: 8
Characterization, Plot and Description: 8
Relevance to Prompt: 8

Total Score: 24/30

5qwerty

GP's Score

Spoiler:

Well, that was messed up. I like it. It was interesting to see someone really lean into a horror version of the prompts and I found this story concept fascinating. I feel like it would make for a really good, high-tension horror movie. Honestly, one of my biggest issues with this story was that I didn't get to spend more time with this man to watch him unravel. I want to know more about this CIA program too. I like this idea a lot and I would love to see what you could do with it given more time - not to say that this was badly written. I still enjoyed this version plenty.

The twist at the end was a little muddy, but also very clever. I think it was another thing that you could have really ironed out with some more time. It was a great idea, and one I very much enjoyed, but it could have been even better I feel.

I will say though, that I think that the frustration element that you were going for didn't come through very strongly. I got vibes much more akin to helplessness than I did frustration outside of a very brief segment.

Spelling and Grammar: 7
Characterization, Plot and Description: 7
Relevance to Prompt: 4

Total Score: 18/30

bobandbill's Score

Spoiler:

Quite the dark tale! A pity he came so close to passing the exam… =p

There certainly was some frustration in the prompt, but I felt this could have been fleshed out more - he only seemed to be frustrated at the end part, whereas I felt it could have been focused on more earlier, and show us more of a transition from how he was at the start to his eventual demise - too much of a timeskip, I suppose? There were also a few passages that could be reworded, and some typos fixed. But the concept was quite good and I enjoyed the read throughout.

Spelling and Grammar: 7
Characterization, Plot and Description: 8
Relevance to Prompt: 7

Total Score: 22/30

Bay's Score

Spoiler:

Oh I really like the gradual mental descent as the story progresses. I admit to not being the most social person myself, but even I can't imagine total isolation for a month let alone several years, so not surprising Ryan would eventually break. Quite unsettling piece but I still enjoyed it!

Spelling and Grammar: 9
Characterization, Plot and Description: 9
Relevance to Prompt: 9

Total Score: 27/30

Juno

GP's Score

Spoiler:

Okay, Karen. I didn't need to feel feelings today.

Jesting aside, this was a fantastic short story. You did an exceptional job capturing Thor's character, as well as the characters of Michael, this "Mom" figure and others in his eyes. The humorous parts actually did make me chuckle a few times and the sadder parts certainly hit home. The story flowed very well too, which is deceptively hard with a more diary-like style. The feeling of contentment was also very much there, coming through quite consistently, although there were a few times where it (intentionally) lapsed.

I would say that you could work on the grammar side of things a bit still though. You have a tendency to overuse commas. This was especially true in the early parts of the story.

Spelling and Grammar: 8
Characterization, Plot and Description: 10
Relevance to Prompt: 10

Total Score: 28/30

bobandbill's Score

Spoiler:

For me, this was the strongest entry, which nailed the emotional punches, even if I could see what direction the story was heading earlier. It was well structured and the personal voice in Thor was solid throughout.

The prompt was definitely very well addressed as well - good job there.

Sometimes you could stand to shorten sentences and address punctuation usage.

Spelling and Grammar: 8
Characterization, Plot and Description: 10
Relevance to Prompt: 10

Total Score: 28/30

Bay's Score

Spoiler:

Aw this is a very sweet piece. You did well showcasing the dog's love for his owner and also behavior. Heh I like that the dog is named after Thor from Marvel comic/movies. And oh no him dying at the end. =<

Spelling and Grammar: 9
Characterization, Plot and Description: 9
Relevance to Prompt: 10

Total Score: 28/30

Results

Onwards to the final results! Interestingly enough, we actually have a tie for first place! As such, there will not be a second place awarded. Instead, points for first will go out twice and we'll then skip to third.

VisionofMilotic: 72/90
Hyzenthlay: 84/90
Eleanor: 73/90
Aquacorde: 75/90
Radio: 55/90
Venia Silente: 74/90
5qwerty: 67/90
Juno: 84/90

Congratulations to Hyzenthlay and Juno on a tied first place (300 points each) and to Aquacorde for third (100 points)! Everyone did really well this year. Not a single person scored below the 50% mark, so those positions are well-earned.

Points by Team

Caelum: 50pts
Aecor: 800pts
Solum: 100pts


See you all next year. Don't forget to share your stories over in FF&W with an SWC tag!

 

[Aquacorde]

well damn okay!!! thank you!

my entry is up to read in ffw~ clicky here if u want

 

[Bay]

Congrats to Hyzenthlay, Juno, and Aquacorde for getting the top spots! Also thanks to everyone else that participated, we had a good turn out this year!

 

[Retek]

Congrats to all the winners and participants, and a special congrats to Annie and juno for winning the first place!

 

[Duck]

Congratulations to everybody, specially to our Top 3: juno, Hyzenthlay and Acquacorde!

 

[Venia Silente]

Congrats to everyone who participated, and to the winners! I'm surprised at the high participation this year (let's keep doing it!).

Itching to see some of the stories posted already! Will try and do my part today.

 

[Hyzenthlay]

Such a fantastic turnout this year! Congratulations to everyone, especially Juno and Aquacorde for making it to first and second place! <3 Reading the judges' comments, they all sound like fascinating entries and I look forward to them!

As for me, I am just... utterly humbled, because I never expected this, but it has really made my day. :') Thank you! ❤️

 

[Retek]

Such a fantastic turnout this year! Congratulations to everyone, especially Juno and Aquacorde for making it to first and second place! <3 Reading the judges' comments, they all sound like fascinating entries and I look forward to them!

As for me, I am just... utterly humbled, because I never expected this, but it has really made my day. :') Thank you! ❤️

You both deserved the first place for your hard work, congratulations!

 

[Juno]

Thank you, and congrats everyone who participated!! I've just put up my entry in FFW as well - gonna try to read the ones that have been posted also later today, and I hope everyone else who participated shares their stories/poetry also (especially you, Annie)!