Bay
Spelling and Grammar-6
Characterization, Plot, and Description-6
Relevance to Prompt-6
Total- 18
What you have here is a pretty good start. You have a girl that seems to not care about what she wants to do, but then stumbles upon someone else using magic. The description in the beginning with the beach is relaxing, heh. I feel though you can expand a bit more on the concept of "the magic one" as that meeting between Linda and the mysterious is kinda rushed. There's also the ending where you mentioned Linda learns the hard way how using magic won't have her breeze through Pokemon training. I think you could easily maybe do a scene or two to illustrate that if you're worried you're cutting short for this contest.
Stuff concerning grammar, I saw one type where you have "bread" instead of "breed" and some instances where you got dialogue punctuation wrong. For instance:
"Linda…the girl...you are the only human here. You must be the magic one." The figure replied hopefully.
The period should be replaced with the comma and the "t" in "The" uncapitalized, like this:
"Linda…the girl...you are the only human here. You must be the magic one," the figure replied hopefully.
bobandbill
Redballoon:
Spelling and Grammar: 5
Characterization, Plot, and Description: 5
Relevance to Prompt: 5
Total: 15
The story felt like an introductory chapter or scene to a longer story. Not a bad base, but it felt like it could have used more. I was unsure why the main character was selected to be the 'magic one'. The set-up of her and her mother's Pokemon (unevolved form, etc) was a neat touch.
Astinus
Grammar: 4
Plot/Description: 4
Prompt: 4
Total: 12
Just for future reference, hit the Enter button twice when making a new paragraph for posting your story online. It was hard to keep track of what line I was on when reading your story. Having a break between paragraphs would have been easier to read.
More attention should have been given to setting up Linda's character. The story moved too quickly from a girl enjoying her summer break to a sudden destructive force that gives the power of magic tricks to random person. The ending was quick too. This seems like more of a set-up to what should be a longer fic that covers Linda's journey. Plus I'm just confused by where she gets her powers from and why, especially when it seems like all that Linda is doing is basic slight-of-hand magic tricks? It seems strange that a powerful being that flings its abilities around would need to give the skill to do that to someone random.
Actually, now that I think about it, the story might have worked better if you just skipped the strange figure and used the time more to set Linda up as some kid who thinks that she'll make a living performing magic tricks on the road with Azurill. That could be why she's not interested in school/almost failed fifth grade.
Bardothern
Painful to read due to its monotonous sentence structure, lack of paragraphs, and jarring plot.
Grammar: 0 - almost every single sentence is short, making it a monotonous read, and the lack of paragraphs makes it worse.
Plot: 1 - events unfold out of left field, and stuff just happens. The characters don't do much at all.
Prompt: 1 - the magic appears out of nowhere, just like the plot.