Social Anxiety

[AquaMarine8]

So I felt I needed to create a thread on this. In a couple of weeks I have a convention to attend with a friend. I will be meeting her there with her rather large group of friends. For this I am nervous. I tend to get social anxiety in large groups. Does anybody else experience this? If so, in what situations do you experience it in? Does anyone have any tips?

Feel free to share all thoughts on social anxiety. :)

Thanks!

 

[Sirfetch’d]

Whenever I am going to be doing something with a large group I just always try to stay with someone that I know and that helps bring down my anxiety levels a little. That is the best way for me anyways! Social anxiety is really annoying to have and sadly there isn't a whole lot that can help it. At least from what I have seen and experienced :(

 

[Wicked3DS]

I don't necessarily get anxious or nervous, but I can be pretty awkward in large groups because of not knowing how to start a conversation or what to talk about.

 

[Centipede Chan]

I suck at life, and such social situations like this will never happen to me. They can't happen to me. I have no irl friends. Those "friends" I have are in school only and all graduate this year mostly and I'll just be nothing but cheap talk. *sigh*

I hate things that involve real quality people

 

[Meganium]

I had that problem before. I always shy myself away from my group of friends because I was scared of what would they react when I say something. Had fears and worries that people would judge me for who I am. This was back in '12-13 when my anxiety was crazy awful. :(

But it all changed for me when I moved out and started living on my own. I had to start facing my own fear of starting conversations, so basically I had to be brave. Had I not joined the group of friends I'm in, and built my circle of friends that I currently have now, I would probably be feeling lonely, depressed, and homesick already, and my anxiety would be even worse than predicted. It's a lot of work, but it's YOU that need to be brave.

I'm sure things will be okay when you go to the convention with your friend. Once your friend introduces you to her group of friends, you'll find out that you'll be able to fit in easily. That's exactly what happened to me a couple months ago, and it was totally worth it. This is an opportunity for you to shine out there. Don't let anxiety eat you up, okie.

 

[Hikamaru]

I suffer social anxiety, and it hurts me quite a lot because it makes it extremely hard to be able to make friends in real life. The last time I ever had friends was back in 2010 and when I finished high school that year, I was never able to talk to them again and while I tried to find new ones the problem was I developed social anxiety and that's caused me to fear going out in public.

This is probably why I often have to rely on having online friends for a long time.

 

[Nolafus]

Most of my social anxiety stems from the fact that I'm losing my hearing, so if people don't speak up and talk clearly, I can't carry a conversation. That, and I'm just bad with conversations in general. I don't really have a lot of emotions when talking to people, so anything that requires a response based on those, such as getting an award or your dog dying, I just don't know what to say. Anything I do say sounds fake, and it's not pretty.

As for large groups, they're awful. I'm a little quieter, so I'm not the one to introduce myself to a lot of people. However, as far as advice goes, you'll most likely find one or two people that you click with instantly. Try sticking with your initial friend, or these people, it makes it a lot easier.

 

[Lycanthropy]

I really dislike crowded places in general and try to avoid them if possible. But having a few friends around me, certainly helps me feeling more comfortable in groups, so I always try to stick close to them.
Even then, I'm not really a talker, in groups I always end up to be mostly listening instead of actually being involved in the conversation.

 

[Percy]

Yep. I suffer from it, too. But not so much now.

 

[Gardevoir the Dragon Slayer]

I sort of get social anxiety before going to the event or whatever, but I tend to be ok when I get there.

 

[queeniewolf]

I think a lot of people experience at least some mild form of social anxiety, especially in situations where they are confronted with a great number of strangers. You might not notice it, but that is just because, probably just like you, the others don't want to show their anxiety to the outer world.
So I think one thing I would advice is, just try to not worry too much :> I know it's easier said than done, I have my own experience with anxiety, but what I've learnt in the past years is that there are really a lot of people who feel similar, they just might not be showing it.

That said, if you feel like your anxiety is really bad and has a huge negative impact on your life, you might want to see a counsellor for it. I get that sadly, there's still kind of a stigma against that kind of stuff, but seriously: Your mental health is just as important as your physical well being.
Unfortunately, I don't know how easy or hard it is in different countries to get in line for some counselling. Universities tend to offer free services for their students and might be able to get you into contact with someone.
But yeah, if you find you're encountering severe problems, please don't hesitate to try and get some help!

Take care everyone :>

 

[AquaMarine8]

Wow, thank you for all of the responses! Like many of you said, I guess I'll just stick close to my friend at the convention. Hopefully that doesn't annoy her, but I probably won't leave her side. xD

I'm sorry to hear that a lot of you suffer from social anxiety, as well. But it's something we all have in common and I guess we just have to push through it and get out of our comfort zones. :/

 

[Black-Tigress]

I figure a few things -

Will these people care about me in the future?

Will I even See these people years from now?

Usually..The answer to these questions is a No to me. Therefore (and even though I'm slightly misanthropic), I usually don't get nervous around people - or even get "stage fright".
So when I was in school, if I had to present a presentation - I'd figure that these people have to do the same exact thing as me, and I'll probably never see these people for a while or ever again - unless they're my friends.

Since I think in such a skewered way like that, I don't get nervous or anxious around people. I generally don't really like people in the first place (except if they're nice, decent, or have something in common with me), and I'm considered pretty "quiet" until we (someone) become friends..

Hopefully, that made sense.. :/

 

[Gligar]

I don't think I have social anxiety, but as Wicked said, it does get pretty awkward when I don't know half of the people I'm talking to. I don't mind meeting new people though. Can't handle the fact of having no friends.

 

[Lucid]

I was pretty anxious around people as a kid and in my early teens, pretty shy too, then I just sort of got more confidant and grew out of it, I do second guess myself a lot, but I'm much less worried about what others think. I just kind of go with the flow now. Around certain people, I'm always afraid to say or do the wrong thing, but that's more out of wanting to avoid stupid conflicts with individuals I can't avoid rather then being genuinely nervous.

 

[maccrash]

DISCLAIMER: I'VE NOT READ ANY OF THIS THREAD SO I MIGHT BE SAYING THINGS THAT HAVE ALREADY BEEN SAID!!! ! WHOOPS

but just keep in mind that when you're in a large group of people that a lot of people are paying way more attention to how others perceive them than to how other people are acting. additionally even if you do do something stupid then they're gonna forget in a few minutes or less anyway. and if you feel too uncomfortable to talk, just don't, really, unless you're spoken to. I suppose.

as far as my experiences with social anxiety go, it was pretty bad for me a couple years ago but I've gotten past a lot of it because I realized it wasn't a big deal even if I did do something really awkward. some of the girls that I was nervous about doing this shit in front of found it cute anyway, and even if they didn't (and this is gonna sound counterintuitive) my awkwardness made them awkward so it was like we were on a level playing field. (I'm not sure if that was a joke or not.) so just keep in mind that your actions are not nearly as monumentally life-fucking as you may think they are in the moment. I'm still anxious around certain people / in certain situations but I've curved it successfully. maybe this is of no help to you. if so ):

 

[pkmin3033]

I'm probably not as socially anxious as I think I am. Since University, I've become much better at coping with these things; I was forced to mix with people I probably would never have even approached otherwise, and it's done a lot for my confidence.

As long as it isn't constant exposure to the same group of people - I have issues with making friends - I don't get too anxious in social situations as a whole. I'm an observer; in groups I've always been the one to quietly fade into the background and let other people carry the conversation. I'm seen and not heard. If I'm put in the spotlight I tend to do everything in my power to get out of it as quickly as possible, but otherwise I'm not too bad with social situations. I tend to treat it like a real-time forum, I guess: add a little here and there, but otherwise keep quiet and watch.

That said, I have enough sense not to put myself into events where I would be socially anxious. Going shopping, or to the theatre? Not a problem; those are activities I enjoy, and it's hard to feel anxious when you're enjoying yourself unless you work at it. Parties or dinners? Forget it. My anxiety would go through the roof. It's more the social function that puts me on the edge of the metaphorical cliff than the people, I think...unless said people are anything other than casual acquaintances; then I need to watch what I say, watch what they say, etc etc...it's exhausting and the benefit is minimal.

Put me in a group if you must, just don't expect me to say anything voluntarily. It's better for all of us that way, aha.

 

[Star-Lord]

I have bad introduction anxiety. I'm fine as soon as someone initiates a convo, but until then I can't do it. I'm working on it though.

 

[Bellsprout]

I think it came from being picked on for my weight when I was younger that I became hyper conscious of myself in public. My main form of defense was to just not say a word in the hopes that I would be less noticed and therefore people would have less of a reason to make fun of me. I guess it was working well for awhile until I had to get a job, go out into the real world, go to school without my friends, etc. Then I was like "OH SHIT I AM HORRIBLE AT THIS INTERACTING STUFF." Best advice I can give is to literally start doing everything that makes you feel uncomfortable until that feeling of anxiety starts to dwindle and then eventually goes away. I still get anxiety sometimes, but then I'll think to myself "WHY U REALLY NERVOUS DOE?" and yes I actually talk to myself this way as it helps to be less serious in these moments lol. Anyway, it comes with time, never give up!

 

[Shiyori]

I have always had social anxiety. I shake really bad when I have to talk in front of people. to the point where I can take sick days out of school just because I don't want to give presentations.