sugar coating

Her

Her

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    do you sugar coat things to prevent hurting feelings? how often do you do that? if not, why don't you?
     
    I used to be really, really not very good at anticipating what would affect people negatively. This led me to either come off as either too blunt or unnecessarily cautious or circuitous in how I expressed myself.

    Long story short- after I got into university, two things happened. One, I developed a rigorous reading habit which led me to be as open as possible towards different POVs, which in turn led me to understand where people are coming from in more depth. Second, university served as a general occasion to meet new folks of different backgrounds. This has curbed my initial problem to some extent I like to think.
     
    im someone people have told me they come to for an opinion because they know i wont tell them what they want to hear.
     
    Really depends on who it is and what it is we're talking about

    If it's something very minor that probably doesn't even matter, then I'll probably sugarcoat it
    If it's some major shit then no.

    Attack em with the truth
     
    I do a lot, yes, because I don't want to hurt anyone. I try and be as nice as possible if I have to confront someone. I usually avoid conflict and keep my mouth shut tho.
     
    Yea, because if you're too blunt, people can get offended or angry for things they wouldn't have if you put it more carefully.
     
    Lucid said:
    It's totally possible to be honest/blunt without being an offensive just by wording things right
    Click to expand...
    This.

    I never like to sugarcoat things, find it just leads to bigger arguments later on. I like to think it's one of my greater qualities, other people may see it as one of my greater weaknesses.
     
    I try not to while still being honest, but sometimes people don't really hear so I'm stuck feeling like I'm either not getting through to them or forced to be rude and I hate that feeling. Since I'm not usually confrontational I tend to let it go.
     
    I don't particularly like the "harsh truth" type of approach. I think you can be kind and honest at the same time. For example when giving feedback or criticism, I always try to preface it with something positive. Positivity is very important if you expect improvement. So I suppose that I do sugarcoat.

    I came into this thread thinking sugarcoat has a negative connotation. But I don't see my definition of it as being negative at all. /shrug
     
    yes. all the time. thats really how i avoid a lot of awkward situations. i really try to be nice to everyone i know but that can take its toll.
     
    i mean, after spending a few years in a corporate environment, sugar coating or presenting your words in a digestible manner just becomes second nature. it's an essential tool for the business world, and it'll become an even more important tool to hone once i get into teaching and have to deal with the self-esteem of my students. how i present my criticisms is going to have a big impact on my career, so yeah, i have to be wary about sugar coating or whatever.

    but like... i don't really care? there's not really much of an empathetic connection unless i'm dealing with close friends and those i actually care for. i'll still present my thoughts in a way that best suits the situation because i'm not an asshole, but the actual empathetic connection is not exactly strong. i just tend to be rather fickle if there's not an emotional investment for me. and that's fine - so long as one is not intentionally hurting other people, then you shouldn't fret about such things.
     
    marz said:
    I don't particularly like the "harsh truth" type of approach. I think you can be kind and honest at the same time. For example when giving feedback or criticism, I always try to preface it with something positive. Positivity is very important if you expect improvement. So I suppose that I do sugarcoat.

    I came into this thread thinking sugarcoat has a negative connotation. But I don't see my definition of it as being negative at all. /shrug
    Click to expand...

    I don't know if it's really sugar coating since ultimately you're still giving the critique. If something is shit and you tell someone why it's shit but preface it with "but that bit is kind of cool" you're still telling them it's shit.
     
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