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The Reciprocal of Love is...

Margaery Tyrell

Margaery Tyrell

Growing Strong
    • 335
    Posts
    12
    Years
    Have you ever had feelings for someone that wasn't mutual? Maybe even love? Did you tell them? How did you cope with it? Did you do anything to help yourself move on?
     
    There have been a few people in my life who I've had feelings for but could never tell them because I know for certain that they didn't feel the same. There was one in particular recently that I developed really strong feelings for to the point of where it was awkward for me to even approach them. Sure I'd love to admit it to them but I just can't..
     
    last time this happened to me the girl was into me for awhile (and even told me so) but she had a boyfriend and I wasn't boutta fuck things up with them so I laid low for a little bit. she broke up with him so I kind of asked her out and she told me that she didn't really have feelings for me anymore and thought I was cute but evidently that "wasn't enough." Hahaha What? she was a confusing person and I haven't spoken to her at length in like 9 months now (O, How Time Flies) and I think that's for the better.

    meanwhile I've had a crush on this other girl for a number of years off-and-on and I've asked her out once but she said no (like a year ago) but I still talk to her on the reg. who knows if she has a thing for me now (but I very much doubt she does). I'll probably ask her to prom, and possibly get brutally rejected, but you live and you learn. I'll keep you posted.
     
    I had a crush to some girls in our school, back when I was in high school. I never got the courage to tell them ._.
     
    To answer my own topic, its happened to me quite a bit in which I'll have feelings that aren't returned back. Recently I told this person about my feelings, and they were pretty chill about it.

    I think, the realization is what sucks the most, but once you get the idea of yourself and "them" being together out of your head, its easier. I usually remind myself that I'm functional and whole being single to get my head out of the funk, and from then on its smooth sailing. Bringing those emotions back, and empowering yourself to be by yourself does wonders, at least for me.
     
    Doesn't everyone? Like, at least once. Maybe not love, but at least a crush. It only really upset me once about 5 or 6 years ago, I liked a guy and we hooked up, then he changed his mind and decided he just wanted to be friends, then he didn't at all. Only time really made me feel better, it was upsetting for a while, but I got over it.
     
    This is going to sound sadder than it actually is. Last time this happened was freshmen year of high school. I was really overweight and no one had ever shown they desired me so I told myself that it was pointless to have feelings for guys because they would never like me back and it would only cause me pain. I met this guy in one of my classes and we got along well and I liked him, but I just shut the feelings out because I thought he would laugh at me if I told him.
     
    Ayselipera said:
    This is going to sound sadder than it actually is. Last time this happened was freshmen year of high school. I was really overweight and no one had ever shown they desired me so I told myself that it was pointless to have feelings for guys because they would never like me back and it would only cause me pain. I met this guy in one of my classes and we got along well and I liked him, but I just shut the feelings out because I thought he would laugh at me if I told him.
    Click to expand...

    I'm sorry that you felt that way, you seem like you could have used some friends to boost your self-confidence back then. :(
     
    I recently told a friend of mine that I liked her and she definitely doesn't like me back and probably never will, so I've moved on. There's actually a girl that I kind of like now, but I'm pretty sure she has absolutely no interest in me. We don't talk a whole lot as it is, so that's not too much of a surprise, but it's still kind of depressing.
     
    Crushes? Had plenty. I was honest about most of them, got shot down, and moved on. I actually tend to appreciate the honesty. The only time I ever got bent out of shape about rejection was about 4 years ago, shortly before I encountered my current partner. This guy approached me and we went on a date. Literally the next day, he contacted me all excited, because his ex, who ripped his heart out and cheated on him, mind you, decided that she wanted him back. I was so mad that I wasted my time and paid for everything, only to basically be considered lesser in comparison to someone who hurt him. I took that as a sign to not take my next relationship opportunity seriously, but then I actually found someone who wants to keep me around as more than just a convenience.

    Life is funny.
     
    Castform said:
    There have been a few people in my life who I've had feelings for but could never tell them because I know for certain that they didn't feel the same. There was one in particular recently that I developed really strong feelings for to the point of where it was awkward for me to even approach them. Sure I'd love to admit it to them but I just can't..
    Click to expand...

    Why would it have been awkward? It will only be if you make it so c:

    Lucid-Acid said:
    Doesn't everyone? Like, at least once. Maybe not love, but at least a crush. It only really upset me once about 5 or 6 years ago, I liked a guy and we hooked up, then he changed his mind and decided he just wanted to be friends, then he didn't at all. Only time really made me feel better, it was upsetting for a while, but I got over it.
    Click to expand...

    Sounds like what my ex said about us continuing to be close friends after breaking up, but we have little to no interaction since then except for social gatherings since we share mutual friends. Back then, I was upset since we dated for 3 years only to have everything flushed down the toilet, everything little detail we knew about each other, the memories, etc. I'll admit, I'm a rather sentimental person, but now looking back, I'm glad that he's nearly entirely out of my life and has been replaced by someone infinitely times better.

    That being said, ever since the breakup until the beginning of this year, I had crushes here-and-there, but not any significant relationships. Over the 3.5 years that I'd been single, I took that time to work on building the confidence to tell people about my feelings. Each time I was faced with awkwardness or rejection, but that only helped me become more comfortable with expressing them. I probably would not be with my boyfriend if not for becoming slightly more assertive over the years.
     
    So many. Oh god, now I'm remembering them. Oh god, no. The feels. The angst. The unrequited crushes of high school.

    I need to lie down.
    Where's my waterbottle. Where's my cat.
     
    I'm pretty happy that I haven't had this issue ever before.
     
    nah, i keep my feelings bottled up like the krabby patty secret formula yo.

    i don't have the guts to tell people i like them bc fear of rejection and i really don't want to come off clingy. i don't like feeling hurt by something that never happened so i try not to ponder over feelings for someone. hah, it's kind of a sad endless cycle.
     
    I've had this problem. It sucks so bad because if you truly love someone, you want them to be happy and to see them with someone else when you spend so much time hoping that you could be together and have a future together is soul crushing since you just want them to be happy if they don't want to be with you and you don't have ill feelings, despite being seriously hurt.
     
    King Goodra said:
    I've had this problem. It sucks so bad because if you truly love someone, you want them to be happy and to see them with someone else when you spend so much time hoping that you could be together and have a future together is soul crushing since you just want them to be happy if they don't want to be with you and you don't have ill feelings, despite being seriously hurt.
    Click to expand...

    I totally get this, because then you also couldn't have any reason to be mad or bitter towards them if they're a really nice person - you're just stuck in that stasis of both no feeling and the reality that you can't have that kind of possibility. It really does suck. :/

    I think, even when you move on, that same concern and attachment to the person doesn't really leave you, it just becomes dormant - because the reasons that you felt so much for them still exist with them. At least, that's what I think.
     
    I had a crush on a dude in 7th grade, told him how I felt. He immediately hated me for that. I was heartbroken. But then again I had no idea what the heck I was doing.

    But yeah, several times, really. I'm normally the person that likes to break guys's hearts but I end up getting the most damage because of how attached I get with the people I get close with. I need time and space to rebuild myself, and make things right with (hopefully) the right guy.
     
    I try my hardest not to confirm any feelings I have to someone because I know they're momentary. Don't really want to be immersed in someone's world consistently then suddenly stop which is what I'm dealing atm. I really don't understand why I can't maintain feelings for someone, I'm beginning to think its some sort of psychological problem. =\

    I've never been in a situation where I liked someone and they didn't like me back, It's always been the case where I stop being affectionate and/or decisive which often leads to immediate alienation from me. I have no clue how to cope with heartbreak though. . honestly the only time loving/liking someone hurts for me is when I pretend I don't have those feelings anymore. I rather just continue to love them from afar. ^.^
     
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