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What household item would you pick up to fight a velociraptor?

I would tie him to a chair a make hime listen to souldja boy till he dies
 
I have two lengthy folding knives in a drawer in my dresser, as well as a gas powered airsoft gun (the latter would be more for deterrence). If I'm upstairs, I'll run for those. If I'm downstairs, I'll grab one or two of the many professional-grade kitchen knives we have. Or perhaps the chainsaw, drill, weed whacker, cement pike, or crowbar out of the garage.

...All my friends are worried about me. I don't know why.
 
Um.. I don't know, those front claws, it would be gruesome, unless... I used a napkin! then someone could Elena the mess up afterwords.
 
This is a thread I've always wanted to start, but didn't have the courage until now XD

So anyway, imagine a velociraptor materializing in your home, what household item would you use to fend it off?

Bowling Ball.
Or grab one of the Seven Sacred Forks and stab it in the eye. (don't ask)
 
If I was in my room, I'd probably grab my 5 kilo weight and bash it in the head. I've broken a closet door with it... so a dinosaur's skull wouldn't be that hard.

If I was in the kitchen I'd simply slice it with a meat cleaver.

And, If I was in my lounge room... uhm, the television remote? I don't know, nothing in the my lounge room is that deadly... although, maybe the LCD...
 
My sister has a copy of Twilight somewhere... I'm going to glue that raptor to a chair, pin its eyes open, and force it to read it.

insta-death!
 
My sister has a copy of Twilight somewhere... I'm going to glue that raptor to a chair, pin its eyes open, and force it to read it.

insta-death!

Lol one of my best friends loves that book, oh and I guess I could also use the coffe table, I Ko'ed my brother with that.
 
see my title? lol id rob my best friends dads gunshop. (turns around) OH. CRAP.
 
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I'd smack it over the head with a chair, then while it was dazed, get my baseball bat from the garage and smack it some more.

Then tie it up and make it watch soaps, or the horribleness that is E!.
 
I would make the raptor take a deep breath of my mom's special artichoke sauce.
Nham.
 
LOL, Go my Lucario!
*chucks diamond chip at velociraptor*
*chip hits velociraptor in the eye*
*It's Super Effective!*

but nar, on my desk, lets see... MY DESK!
 
Uhh id beat it over the head with a broom then throw a few knifes.
 
I'd pick up a clock and hold it up to it while turning the hands as fast as I can then I'd say "Take that! You are now extinct again!"

Nah. I'd probably just bash it to death with a wooden pole I have in my room.
 
Oh my God. XD I love this subject.

I would probably get a nice large baseball bat or maybe my dad's gun. But if this thing was packing heat, I'd try and sneak up on him Splinter-Cell style and break his neck, take his gat, then pop a cap in his homies. >:[
 
I'd throw my computer chair, my printer, and a frying pan with burning hot oil in it, frying pan should be super effective but I won't throw the pan, I'll bash him with it.
 
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