Hi! I'm already a part of the club and I think I even said "pronouns: she but will respond to they". But after a really profound conversation with a dear friend I decided to exclusively identify as they/them. I.. don't know how long this will be for, since finding one's self is a journey.. I'll give you a little history if y'all don't mind. I'm a little nervous, ngl, and it gets graphic, so trigger warning..
So.. I'd like to officially come out as gender fluid! I would prefer people use they/them pronouns, but I'm not going to shame anyone who still refers to me as 'she' since, well, that's not wrong either!
I was hoping maybe I could get some kind of advice from other gender fluid, gender queer, or non binary people here and maybe hear their stories if they're comfortable who may feel the same way I do or can give me some insight.
Thank you for reading.
Omg welcome to the nonbinary family! I'm so proud of you for daring to explore your identity further. As you hopefully know, there are no absolutes or rules or things written in stone. It is perfectly alright to try pronouns or even feel 100% fine with certain pronouns for a while only to later on change your mind. This is YOU we are talking about, a living, everchanging, beautiful organism! Static stuff can be for rocks. (or for humans who are very comfortable and happy with who they are or realize they are, that is of course super valid too haha, I'm just encouraging the fluid and nonbinary aspect here :3 )
I'm still not 100% sure that I "am non-binary" as opposed to just being a "girl who really doesn't give a flying fuck about gender" and refuses to have it steer my life more than to the extent I actively choose for myself. I lack physical dysphoria but I do feel quite dysphoric about pronouns, so regardless of what my gender really is or should be called, they/them is greaaaatly preferred to use for me :) I've even started to use the native equivalent for myself here, sneakily hehe, and if anyone would notice and ask, I'd probs just say "it's what I prefer, but you do you". Then again, being a "girl" who doesn't care about or really understand gender, that can mean that I'm non-binary in my own way. So I like to call myself that, or at the very least a non-binary female human or something weirdball like that. Still a they/them tho :3 and that's valid. See, that's the beauty of the non-binary community; there really are no rules and nobody can tell you what's right or wrong. You're just
you.
I think I found the right community for me. It may or may not be because of a meme?
Obviously I did some considering after that, and after looking into the different communities, I think bi is the right term to describe me. This might change over time, but this is how I'll classify now.
Yaaas bi crew! It's a super awesome term imo, and I use it myself! I see bisexual/biromantic as terms that simply mean "i'm not exclusively attracted to one other gender". Instead, I'm attracted to more. And that's it! I don't define it more than that, but there's various further labels if one wants to. Such as specifying that one is polysexual/polyromantic ("I like several genders but not all"), or omnisexual/omniromantic ("I like all genders but not in the same way or the same amount"), or even pansexual/panromantic ("I don't care what gender you are, I love you for other factors!"). I'm probably omniromantic but I like to say biromantic because more people understand that. It's just my own preference :3 Anyways, I'm happy to hear that you're discovering yourself! Very proud <3
I'm nonbinary as well, how I present is really based on how I feel that day.
That's gotta be really cool tbh. I can't relate! I ofc too dress depending on how I feel that day, but it's not got to do with my gender I think. Sure, some days I might fluctuate a bit more here or there (I've often called myself Agenderflux) but idk.
The next time I see my family I'm going to tell them. I've cut my hair (was down to my butt, now to my shoulders), and have heavily male presenting clothing and while I'll never be able to shroud this highly feminine body.. I can do my best! Still vervous though. :(
You've got this, babe! "Man presenting" is just learned notions; if someone is a man and has clothes, those are manly clothes. :D But I get your point. Super duper good luck to you <3
In other news: we're the Club of the Month again! Let's chat here more often haha, and keep this a really cozy place!