[Life] LGBTQ+ Alliance (◕‿◕)♡

[Caite-chan]

So I have more of a help me figure this out question for everyone.

If I had to describe myself I would say I'm quite old school in all of this. I grew up with He/She or Straight/Gay/Lesbian/Bi and that's pretty much it. My parents taught me well and never said anything bad about Gay/Lesbian/Bi people. My best friend is Gay and my Mom would always joke and say Oh yeah he's my favorite gay son and he always got a kick outta that. I also have a friend who came out as Non-Bionary and goes by Ash now instead of Ashley. And when I sent out cards I'm like well how do I address this and looked it up and found Mx to address it instead of Mr or Ms/Mrs.

My issue I guess you could call it is I have a hard time referring people as They/Them because I hear that and think of a group of people and not a single person as you would with He/She. I also don't believe that Non-Bionary should be referred to as "It" because they're not objects. Other than PC I don't really have access to a community where I can be more active in this. I'll look at people's profiles and if they have nothing listed anywhere I just go by what the name is and go from there. Maybe I don't talk to people one on one enough or don't pay attention to the finer details enough...I'm not sure. I know I made this mistake recently and needed to be corrected which I rather you do but afterwards went back and checked their profile and couldn't find anything that stated either way and just went with what I knew.

As an Ally to all I try to better myself and become better understanding of everything so any and all help would be great. :D

 

[moon]

So I have more of a help me figure this out question for everyone.

If I had to describe myself I would say I'm quite old school in all of this. I grew up with He/She or Straight/Gay/Lesbian/Bi and that's pretty much it. My parents taught me well and never said anything bad about Gay/Lesbian/Bi people. My best friend is Gay and my Mom would always joke and say Oh yeah he's my favorite gay son and he always got a kick outta that. I also have a friend who came out as Non-Bionary and goes by Ash now instead of Ashley. And when I sent out cards I'm like well how do I address this and looked it up and found Mx to address it instead of Mr or Ms/Mrs.

My issue I guess you could call it is I have a hard time referring people as They/Them because I hear that and think of a group of people and not a single person as you would with He/She. I also don't believe that Non-Bionary should be referred to as "It" because they're not objects. Other than PC I don't really have access to a community where I can be more active in this. I'll look at people's profiles and if they have nothing listed anywhere I just go by what the name is and go from there. Maybe I don't talk to people one on one enough or don't pay attention to the finer details enough...I'm not sure. I know I made this mistake recently and needed to be corrected which I rather you do but afterwards went back and checked their profile and couldn't find anything that stated either way and just went with what I knew.

As an Ally to all I try to better myself and become better understanding of everything so any and all help would be great. :D

I'm part of a nice enby community you could join to learn more :3 let me know if you want an invite.

I don't think they/them/their singular is any weirder than you/you/your singular. ;) Maybe it is easier for me who isn't a native English speaker? It was confusing for us when we started learning English and found out that they use "you" for both singular and plural. But if that works, they/them singular really works too. Just gotta learn and accept it ^^

 

[Starlight]

So I have more of a help me figure this out question for everyone.

If I had to describe myself I would say I'm quite old school in all of this. I grew up with He/She or Straight/Gay/Lesbian/Bi and that's pretty much it. My parents taught me well and never said anything bad about Gay/Lesbian/Bi people. My best friend is Gay and my Mom would always joke and say Oh yeah he's my favorite gay son and he always got a kick outta that. I also have a friend who came out as Non-Bionary and goes by Ash now instead of Ashley. And when I sent out cards I'm like well how do I address this and looked it up and found Mx to address it instead of Mr or Ms/Mrs.

My issue I guess you could call it is I have a hard time referring people as They/Them because I hear that and think of a group of people and not a single person as you would with He/She. I also don't believe that Non-Bionary should be referred to as "It" because they're not objects. Other than PC I don't really have access to a community where I can be more active in this. I'll look at people's profiles and if they have nothing listed anywhere I just go by what the name is and go from there. Maybe I don't talk to people one on one enough or don't pay attention to the finer details enough...I'm not sure. I know I made this mistake recently and needed to be corrected which I rather you do but afterwards went back and checked their profile and couldn't find anything that stated either way and just went with what I knew.

As an Ally to all I try to better myself and become better understanding of everything so any and all help would be great. :D

I haven't joined the club yet so I hope it's okay for me to post!

NB pronouns can be a little confusing. Most of us were brought up with a binary view of the world. The media have always said he and she, and that was it, nothing in-between. That obviously doesn't reflect real life, and we now understand that gender is a spectrum just like sexuality. Lets also not forget about intersex peeps either.

Language hasn't quite caught up yet... or so we think. I struggled in the past with they and them pronouns because I always viewed them as multiple, not singular, so they never really made sense to me. It turns out I was wrong and they were in use as a singular terms centuries ago, they merely fell out of fashion for a while.

It also turns out that I had actually been using them in singular context all along without even realising it. Think about it this way. Say you have a male friend. He goes off to buy a latte and another friend finds you alone. "Oh, I thought you were with Carl today". You could reply with "He went to get a coffee" and that would be correct. You could also use "They went to get a coffee" and that would also be correct!

"I thought you would be with Sadie today" "No, I don't see her as much as you think" Again, "No, I don't see them as much as you think" is just as correct!

The delivery driver is late with your order. You turn to your friend and say "Where on earth are they?" This is correct, of course. You could use he or she, if you really wanted to, but chances are you would use they, and especially so if you weren't sure of their gender!!!

I bet you have used they or them in singular context much more often than you think. You just need to reprogram your brain's way of looking at it.

Thanks for being a caring ally :)

 

[Corrin]

I'll try and give you a crash course!

"She took her dog for a walk" would be "They took their dog for a walk"

"He's feeling sick" would be "They're feeling sick"

she/he = they
her/him = their
he is/she is = they're

 

[UmbreonsShadow]

Username: UmbreonsShadow
Pronouns: She/Her
Gender: Cis Female
Romantic orientation: Hetero
Sexual orientation: Asexual
Relationship status: Single

Are you out, IRL? How did you "come out", if there was such an event?
Sorta? Ha ha. My family all knew before I even knew the word "asexual". My whole life one of my sisters teased me and said I'd grow up to be a nun since I never felt any sexual attraction to anybody. :P When I finally found out that you could be asexual and still feel attracted to guys, then I told my mom. She was all like: Yeah, I know.
And really, most of my family is LGBTQ+ anyway. :) (Two trans-sisters and a cis-bisexual sister)
My dad on the other hand, he'd have a heart attack if he knew. But I haven't spoken to him in years and don't plan on changing that. ;)

Would you say you fit into typical gender stereotypes?
If you look up "digital artist" and you see the people with the comfy clothes, glasses, glued to their computer screens - that's me. ;) I don't think I fit the stereotype because I'm not really into clothes, shopping, or anything. I like bugs and snakes. But I will also gush over tiny kittens. <3

Are you a passive or active member of the LGBTQ+ community?
Passive. I try to be more active and then I end up retreating back into my introvert shell. ;P So I'm figuring myself out first and might try again. Or maybe I'll just support my trans-sisters who are very active.

As an lgbt person around the holidays, is it hard on you? Do you find yourself alone during this supposedly happy time?
Since my family is almost all LGBTQ+ there's not a problem there for me. Sometimes I feel lonely because I'm the only ace though. Which isn't bad. So I'm really lucky there.

Language
As for language, I wish we had non-gendered words. I'm okay using 'they/them' for people if they request it. And I aim to use 'they/them' for people unless they state otherwise. :)

 

[Bahamut]

Username: Bahamut
Pronouns: They/them
Gender: Non-binary
Romantic orientation: Biromantic
Sexual orientation: Asexual
Relationship status: Single

 

[Noblejanobii]

Figure I might as well join the new alliance since I was a member of the old one.

Username: NobleJanobii
Pronouns: She/Her
Gender: Female
Romantic/Sexual orientation: Demipan
Relationship status: In a relationship (our one year anniversary was Dec 31 actually)

Are you out, IRL? How did you "come out", if there was such an event?
Not officially. A few folks know like my college roommates and the Student Senate at my college but they've all been sworn to secrecy because my parents wouldn't react well.

Would you say you fit into typical gender stereotypes?
Uhhh I guess kinda? I moreso fall into the stereotype of the like "stem" or "butch" lesbian I guess? It's to the point my mom tries to forcibly make my wardrobe more feminine because she doesn't want me to be mistaken for a lesbian. Oops.

Are you a passive or active member of the LGBTQ+ community?
I guess I'm more passive? I'm not out to most people IRL so it's difficult for me to be active esp considering where I live. When I was still in college I was a bit more active since I'd attend Pride events and the like, and if anyone asked about it I could say it was just to support my friends or part of my work on Student Senate. But nowadays I can't really do that because my Dad isn't supportive of the LGBT+ community at all and doesn't want me associating with it if possible. I do try to watch shows with LGBT+ characters or support artists/musicians that are LGBT+ but that's about the extent of what I can do at the moment.

As an lgbt person around the holidays, is it hard on you? Do you find yourself alone during this supposedly happy time?
Yeah to some degree. If I'm able to hang out with my online friends it's not as bad but if my parents are home when I'm voice chatting with them I have to actively censor myself from even mentioning LGBT+ so as to not give myself away. My online friends make me feel less alone but I feel like I'm still very lonely as compared to when I was in college when my supportive roommates were always around.

 

[lillipup03]

Username: lillipup03
Pronouns: he/him are probably preferred, but I'm fine with they/them too
Gender: cis male
Romantic orientation: heteroromantic or biromantic, but very unsure on which
Sexual orientation: bisexual
Relationship status: very single

Are you a passive or active member of the LGBTQ+ community?
On the internet, I'm very active, but IRL I'm somewhere in the middle. I'm vocal about being an ally, but I'm not out, so I kind of suppress some of what I'd like to say because I don't want to accidentally out myself or make it seem to openly LGBTQ+ people that I'm taking over their space or speaking on their behalf.

 

[Roni]

hope it's ok to join!

Username: Roni
Pronouns: he/him
Gender: Cis Male
Romantic orientation: Heteroromantic
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
Relationship status: In a relationship

Would you say you fit into typical gender stereotypes?
for the most part, yes, for the neutral stereotypes like liking video games/computers/watching sports, etc. i do my best to steer clear from negative ones.

Are you a passive or active member of the LGBTQ+ community?
i'd like to say i'm vocal about being a member of this community. i enrolled in one of the most open minded universities in my country and was exposed to people of all kinds, attended pride marches, all that good stuff. pretty much everyone i know irl knows where my stance and support lies.

 

[RadEmpoleon]

Hi everyone, I thought I'd share this...

The letter P in this alphabet song is for "pride" and it shows not only the rainbow flag, but also the flags of other LGBT communities like trans, lesbian, asexual, genderfluid, and more. This made me happy because many of the communities are being represented, not just the pride flag, in a kids show no less. It's also great for showing kids that these different communities exist.

(Also a bit unrelated, but the letter E is for "everyone" has people of different races, body types, and disabilities.)

 

[VisionofMilotic]

Happy Valentine's Day everyone! You are beautiful and loved.



Anyone have any special plans today for the holiday with a partner? Maybe you have a crush you're thinking about today? Or perhaps you have sent or received a special card from Luvdisc? I'd love to know what's in your heart on your mind today during the holiday celebrated love. <3

 

[Eleanor]

Well, I'm still very much single this year, once again - I've sent a whopping total of 10 luvdiscs (which is a record for me, and yet still feels like it's not enough) but other than that, I haven't done much else. All things considered, though, I feel like I'm finally understanding more about relationships and what's kept me away from them until now... yet another instance where self discovery really helps.
I may have to answer your question with another question here but... once it's finally clear that you and your crush actually love each other, what happens? What do you actually give each other that makes the relationship blossom? It may sound weird but I've never really had an answer for this, and hoped that my love interest had the answer instead! This is probably just a matter of time and personal growth though, and never before have I felt so confident that... I'll get there someday. Someday...
On another note! Recently a certain friend has got me into Toradora (obviously), which is probably the first specifically romantic anime I've ever seen. That is a first step because even before this, my whole perception of romance was not very accurate... but there's more! That anime has actually reminded me of a high school friend of mine that I haven't seen in a while, but that always acted very kind to me, and that now I would like to at least talk to again! I'm not sure how to approach her now, and probably I don't even need to, but at least she's finally getting the appreciation she deserves.

 

[Roni]

Anyone have any special plans today for the holiday with a partner? Maybe you have a crush you're thinking about today? Or perhaps you have sent or received a special card from Luvdisc? I'd love to know what's in your heart on your mind today during the holiday celebrated love. <3

happy valentines right back at you Sam <3 ours here just finished and it was a blast! (tis why i was offline the whole weekend heh)

my partner and i went to an uber fancy restaurant for the first time in our lives (also the first time we spent that much on one eat out huehue), then spent the rest of the weekend over at my place where we binged a good bunch of movies (finally got started with WandaVision, and my god is it a story <3) and ate a good bunch of happy food. our gifts to each other this year was probably one of the most memorable i've ever had, and i'm not sure anymore how to top it. not a dry eye there was for that night we exchanged it with each other.

aside from that, i also received plenty of heartwarming Luvdiscs, especially yours Sam! you really know how to brighten up my day with your words <3 my heart's happy as can be with everything that's happened, and serotonin is through the roof right now! i'm so... content with life atm. this is a nice feeling. it's gonna go away eventually, but i'll enjoy it while it's here :)

 

[lillipup03]

Anyone have any special plans today for the holiday with a partner? Maybe you have a crush you're thinking about today? Or perhaps you have sent or received a special card from Luvdisc? I'd love to know what's in your heart on your mind today during the holiday celebrated love. <3

I'm *extremely* single so I didn't have any plans today

But crush? ...maybe. And it might be my best friend. And I may have typed up a text to send her back in december and still never sent it.

I hate it, because I know she doesn't like me like that, and I genuinely want to get over her and just be friends, but I just... can't. And as much as I don't want to be single anymore, I don't feel like I can commit to any other relationship when I'm so stuck on her. It wouldn't be fair to my partner.

So, what I'll probably do is decide to tell her, then have a panic attack and fall asleep before actually saying anything...

at least iCarly is on Netflix now so I have something to do lol

 

[Corrin]

I'm single, but I'm happy that others are able to find joy, especially in these times.

I've done some introspection and realized that I am, in fact, a lesbian. While I have male characters I like, I'm not attracted to men in real life at all.

 

[Hisuitake]

I just wanted to say I support LGBTQ+ though never did a pride day in person before in public to show support. I don't like labels really so I try not to defend myself as something. I'm an female and I don't want intimacy due to traumatic stuff happened to me and I truly bealive there's more to a relationship than intimacy. I'm straight, single and I have no friends in person or online and not desperate for them. If it happens, it happens is my motto.

Love who you are don't change for anyone be yourself always~❤

 

[ninestarryskies]

Username: ninestarryskies (Stars!)
Pronouns: Any!
Gender: Genderfluid
Romantic orientation: Panromantic/Polyamorous
Sexual orientation: Grey Asexual
Relationship status: Committed partnership (partner is also fine with poly)

Hi! I'm on mobile or I'd answer a bunch of the questions that I saw other people answering, it's a little difficult to not lose a post while going back looking for them on my phone, sorry! I'm out to friends and old coworkers but I've got a really weird/bad relationship with my family and don't feel my stuff is any of their business at all, plus I know they'd judge and or question me and I'm not interested in that.

I'm grey ace because I used to be fully sex repulsed until I had a boyfriend I was comfortable enough with to try stuff, (have some little traumatic things in the past too that made things uncomfy) and now I'm cool with lots of stuff, but I've only ever been sexually attracted to my current partner. I am most comfortable with being called pan over bi because of how the two were explained to me when I first found out about them: They told me that being bi meant that I was attracted to different genders in different ways and that being pan was essentially not minding what gender a person was at all when it came to love, and that's how I feel. I'm also full of so much love that I absolutely have more than I can share with just one person, but I'm not actively hunting for anyone to add to my current relationship at all, just open to it if the right person comes along!

I'm fine with most questions, but I don't feel like it's my job to justify why I feel like I do or what my labels mean in general more than what I've already shared. I've had to drop a lot of people that didn't believe in my gender or asexuality already and I'm not afraid to keep it up! I don't bite though :> I feel I'm among like minds here.

 

[Lady Bisharp]

Username: Lady Bisharp
Pronouns: She / They
Gender: Female
Romantic orientation: Panromantic
Sexual orientation: Asexual
Relationship status: Single (still not over my last relationship)

Are you out, IRL? How did you "come out", if there was such an event?
I'm out, but I almost never tell people that I'm ace and panromantic, I just tell them I'm bi because it's easier and many non-LGBT people roll their eyes when you mention "weird" terms to them. Coming out wasn't an issue at all because I live in a (somewhat?) accepting country and a few of my real-life friends had already come out as gay, bi, and trans respectively. There's definitely some people where I live who don't even believe being bi is actually a thing (or are outright -phobic), but I like to think they're a minority (they're usually older people or conservatives).

Would you say you fit into typical gender stereotypes?
Tomboy? I don't think I dress masculine enough to be a butch, I've always had mixed interests and I'm not into overly masculine stuff. However, I should also say that I'm very gender non-conforming and love to experiment with my looks (I really like to look androgynous sometimes), but I'm fine with my gender.

Are you a passive or active member of the LGBTQ+ community?
Passive... there's quite a few things I don't like about the LGBT community, namely people who make their sexuality/identity their whole personality and especially people who are -phobic against any other subgroup within it (I didn't believe it at first, but I've seen quite a few LGBT folks who were also -phobic). We're supposed to support and be kind to each other no matter which flag we fall under, so the fact that people who have been oppressed themselves are totally cool with doing the same shit to others from their own community is something I find appalling and really gross.
This doesn't mean I believe the LGBT community is bad at all (many of my friends are also LGBT after all), it's just that, personally I don't care about "labels" as much as other people do (though I understand why they're important), so I'd rather focus on meeting people in general regardless of what or who they are (unless they're jerks I guess, but you get my point).

Whew~ that was a lot to type, haha.

 

[Hybrid Trainer]

Username: Hybrid Trainer
Pronouns: They / He
Gender: NB / Male (While non-binary is the closest descriptor I have for my gender I do still feel like I lean closer to the masculine side of the scale)
Romantic orientation: Gay
Sexual orientation: Uber Gay
Relationship status: Same sex relationship of 6+ years

Are you out, IRL? How did you "come out", if there was such an event?
Yup, I've been fully out since I was 17, it was actually partially thanks to PC that I came out at all. Way back in the day when there was a link to clubs in the header I saw that there was an LGBT+ club, which I'm pretty sure was ran by Professor Plum but I may be misremembering, and after a while I signed up which was the first time I'd told anyone other than myself that I was gay. From there I made some friends, which supported me while I came out to some irl friends, and a year or two later I came out to my family and posted about it in the current LGBTQ+ club at the time :)

Would you say you fit into typical gender stereotypes?
Oh hell no. While I probably still fit into the lazy boi dress sense of wearing whatever is clean at the time I find myself doing plenty of things that counteract that. I paint my nails, wear a bit of makeup when I feel like looking pretty, discarding pretty much anything that's pushed on me because I was assigned male at birth.

Are you a passive or active member of the LGBTQ+ community?
I'd say I'm more of a passive member of the community atm. When I was in university I was a memeber of the LGBTQ+ society and during my early 20s I would attend prides, but personally I just don't enjoy the drinking/going out that comes paired with a lot of the queer culture where I'm from. I'd much rather just donate to the occasional fundraiser from the comfort of my home instead.

 

[Caite-chan]

Bill To Ban Transgender Athletes Aligned With Gender Identity

So this came across my Facebook this morning from the local news station I watch and I read the article. I'm kinda on the fence about this because I can see where they are coming from. Though on the other end you should be able to choose on your own. I know things get changed if you go through 100% like testosterone / estrogen levels.

What do you all think?