Serious And I was like, "why are you so obsessed with me?"

Treecko

Treecko

the princess without voice
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    Have you ever had a stalker or person who was obsessed with you ? Or maybe like a obsessive crush with someone yourself? How did you handle this situation?

    I know this may be a very personal and serious topic and not everyone will be willing to share something like this to hundreds of people on the internet so it's okay to disclose as much or as little as you feel comfortable sharing. No pressure on you to expose it all and share whatever you feel like sharing.

    Personally I don't think I've ever had a stalker or anything like that, but I did have at least one crush that got bolderline obsessive. It was in 10th grade and it was on a guy who a grade higher than me. He was friends with one of my friends and so I tried being friends with him cause he was so cute and an incredibly sweet guy. I didn't realize how much of a crush I had on him I just thought I wanted to be friends with this guy. We were in our theater group together and I would try anything to talk to him during rehearsals and would like all his photos and comment on them. At the time I didn't think anything was wrong with what I was doing, I just thought it was something friends would do. It didnt occur to me that some comments like "sexy beast!" would be creepy to say to a guy who you just wanted to be a friend with. It wasn't until one of his best friends called me out and told me to leave him alone that I realized that what I was doing was lowkey gross and obsessive. I completely regret ever being like that, but I never got a chance to apologize either. I think that is kinda what caused me and my other friend to fall apart. I was a confused 17 year old who was still coming to terms with his sexuality, but it's clear to me now that I didn't handle it the right way. Now when I get crushes I try not to fall down that same path and respect their boundaries and try to handle it in a healthier way. I think I've grown a lot since then .
     
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    Yes, I stupidly responded to someone's incessant pleas to give dating him a chance because I felt sorry for him. I spent months regretting my poor choice. I barely knew this guy, and he was saying he was in love with me within weeks, he had gone into this delusion that I was moving in with him and had sworn to never leave him. He would bombard me with naked pictures and videos I didn't want. No matter what I was doing, trying to go to a job or study or sleep at 3:OO o'clock in the morning he would pop up, start ringing the phone, and I would not be able to pry him off of me. He would not stop running his mouth for hours, and if I ever said no to him or tried to leave he would start crying and begging, screaming at me and threatening. He had a violent temper, and I was cowed into staying with him because I was afraid, and didn't know what to do. He was a dangerous person who needed to be in a mental hospital. I kept trying to appease him because I didn't want myself hurt. He had a history of stalking people before I soon discovered, though he didn't see it that way, it was "their fault" not his. Think Harry McDougall from Outlaw Star. This guy was also involved in some criminal stuff I later understood.

    I would literally stop going places I enjoyed because I feared he would show up. I stopped hobbies, seeing other friends and family because he took every moment I had from me. It wasn't until I started observing him treat others in a really mean, abusive way that something in me just clicked. When you are directly experiencing something it is sometimes harder to see straight than when you are observing from the outside without the emotion. I recognized him for the cowardly bully that he was and fear I had was replaced with such disgust and anger that I was resolved to do whatever I had to get his claws off of me.

    This person is gone now. I literally had to go to doctors, and safe zones for people at risk for domestic violence. I was also taught some self-defense techniques from a friend. My stalker couldn't get to me because I had informed the authorities, and blocked his phone number, emails and disappeared from his life. I also have a new address now so I don't think I will see him anymore, but every once in awhile I look over my shoulder just to make sure he isn't there out of habbit.

    My sisters and fellas out there if you ever meet anyone showing anything resembling one of these signs I described RUN! Please run.
     
    So far, I've not really experienced anything that could in fact be 'stalkerish' in nature. Which I suppose is quite fortunate indeed.
     
    Thankfully, no, no one has ever been obsessed with me. I don't really talk to enough people in my life for things to border onto that.
     
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    I've had a few instances, both online and off -- three come to mind. Some of them just creepy and not threatening, some of them legitimately scary. I once had a stalker go through my garbage when I was in high school to steal my feminine hygiene products.
     
    Fairy said:
    I've had a few instances, both online and off -- three come to mind. Some of them just creepy and not threatening, some of them legitimately scary. I once had a stalker go through my garbage when I was in high school to steal my feminine hygiene products.
    Click to expand...

    Jesus fucking christ... WHY?!?!
     
    Geez some of the replies here. @_@

    I've never had any longterm stalkers, but did have a few more short-lived ones.

    One I can recall is a few years ago when I was going to pick my brother up from primary school and this middle-aged dude who was a ways behind me ran up to me and suddenly started being persistent with personal questions like where I live, where I'm going, etc. Told him I was going to pick my brother up from school and casually tried to speed up and make it seem like I was in a rush, but he said he also happened to be going to the same school (lol) and would not stop following no matter what I said. Amidst those personal questions he kept making statements to me about how he was upset he's single and wanted a gf, etc. It was so creepy and made me so, so uncomfortable. Thankfully the school was only a few blocks away at that point and he left me alone once I picked up my brother and went home. I've also had guys beg me for my phone number in situations where I couldn't escape easily (commuting home on a moving bus, for example), and in situations like those I tended to just accept to get them out of my hair and then delete/block the number.

    This falls more in obsessive behaviors than stalkers but then there's my ex, who had severe depressive episodes and threatened to kill himself several times if I left him. He had no other friends besides me, and was adamant that his family didn't care about him even though from what he told me I begged to differ. Since I was the only one he talked to he developed unhealthy, obsessive behaviors towards me, which I only just realized somewhat recently (and I hope he realized himself by now). I started to understand that behavior was manipulative. Like VisionofMilotic, I stuck around for way longer than I should have even though I lost interest ages before that, just because I felt bad. It took until I fell for someone else (who I am extremely happy and plan to spend my life with) to finally realize that unhealthy relationship, in actuality, should have formally ended years ago.

    I have no interest in reconnecting with him, but do hope he has gotten the help he needs.
     
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    gimmepie said:
    Jesus fucking christ... WHY?!?!
    Click to expand...

    I wish I had an answer to this but suffice to say it was most certainly not for any good reason.
     
    The closest encounter I've had is someone stalking my friend group in college. I initially knew this person in middle school where the word "feral" could be applied to them. When I saw them in college, they were well groomed and seemed much nicer and we were both from the same place, out of town for college, so it was nice. Then they started wanting to hang out with me and my friends, like, everyday, all the time. Text: Do you want to go eat dinner? Reply: Sure *immediate knock on door* They had been there, waiting. We eventually said we had to work on stuff sometimes, so they took to waiting in the food court for hours for us. Would be waiting at the bus stop near us, across the town from where they lived. Early on we helped them dye their hair pink, and they started bleaching it every few days to the point it was balding. They started calling my friends at midnight.
    At this point, we talked to the RA of the dorms, and coincidentally made friends with their former roomates who had some terrible tales about them.

    Me and one of my friends at the time moved to a house, and my other friend who was the landlord casually said someone was coming to see one of the empty rooms. Said something that just caught me weird, I asked to see what their name was/facebook profile and it was them. I don't know if it was coincidence or not, but that was a stressful moment.
     
    I've had plenty of e-stalkers due to my YouTube channel, years ago. I don't upload much anymore, so this issue has faded. BUT, there is one girl who continues to follow me around on social media, despite blocking her several times. Started back in 2011. I made the mistake of giving her my phone number, and she'd never leave me alone. Then, after a year of 3am prank calls, angry messages about how slow I was to respond to her, and other general nonsense, she sort of disappeared. She resurfaced soon after; said she was in a mental hospital, and resumed calling me cute every five seconds and pursuing me... even going as far as wanting to meet up with me when she conveniently moved to within about an hour of my hometown. She knows I'm married now, she knows I don't even live in the US anymore, and I still get creepy messages at least once a month from one of her many sock accounts. She's not a threat to me at all, but I do wonder if she'll ever give up, for her own sake.
     
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