Dear Anonymous

[an illegible mess.]

dear anonymous,

why did you do it. i was twelve years old. i was a child. adults aren't supposed to hurt children, right? are you the reason i was afraid to grow up? why i never trusted adults after that instant? i didn't want to turn into you. you hurt me. i remember your touch and now i want to burn my skin. i can't look at gas station bathrooms the same again. i was only twelve. i was only a child. why did you do it?

 

[Purist of Black Water]

Dear Anonymous

Cold fish looks and just ignoring me.
I know you mean well, but I am just gonna live my life, as best I know how man.
Ain't nobody got time for that, hocus pocus mind bending...

Wish you'd see my view. Guess not though....

 

[Desert Stream~]

Dear anonymous:
I get that it's not your fault, but I'd like it if you were around more. I'm kinda going insane :p

 

[Nakuzami]

Dear Anonymous,

I . . . don't really know how to feel right now.

I don't mind that this is a thing. What I do mind is that it took you so long to tell me, because, whether you realize it or not, it makes a huge difference with us. Telling me over four months after the fact is a huge blow. If you'd told me straight up, there wouldn't have been any blow at all. I would have gone into things prepared to react accordingly, but . . . you didn't.

I did have my suspicions about it before. There were a few hints here and there, but I trusted you enough to believe that you would have told me about it. And now it feels like you've betrayed that trust. And I know you didn't mean to. And I don't care any less about you than I did a day ago. But that's exactly the problem.

I don't know what this means for us. My natural instinct is to just give up hope, to suddenly push you away and draw further into myself. But it's thanks to you that I'm able to avoid doing that immediately. I've really been working on that with you. And that just leaves me even more confused about how to feel. So, for now . . . I guess I'll just wait and see.

I do love you.

But now I don't know whether or not that's a good thing.

(Version 2.0) Dear Anonymous,

Well, for the sake of honesty, I'm not going to sugarcoat it. Not telling me that for so long was an incredibly shitty thing to do. And it wasn't just that you neglected to tell me, but that you said things rather contrary to it and essentially led me on for over four months. It wouldn't have been an issue if you'd told me from the start. The fact that it's a thing doesn't bother me at all, it's that you didn't tell me. If I'd known from the start, I could have gone into our times together prepared with that, but I didn't get that chance. Telling me this far in is more than just a bit of a blow. While I did have my suspicions about it at first, I trusted you enough to believe that you'd tell me something like that. And now . . . it just kind of feels like you betrayed that trust. Which, for me, sets off so many things that love to run through my mind. It feels like you trivialized me. That I was just kind of there and didn't really matter in the long run. My first instinct is to push you away and draw further into myself. I've done it before. But I have been trying so hard to get past that, and thanks to you I have really been doing better with it. You've tried to reassure me time and time again about these things, and I'm trying so hard to trust that. But now it feels like you've just been telling me that because you knew at some point it might all come into play like this. It makes me look at everything from a different perspective, one I don't really want to see it from for the most part. And I just really don't know how to feel. Now, do I believe all of this shit running through my mind? Not entirely. I do believe that you care to some extent, and that you didn't want to hurt me. But the thoughts and feelings are still there now, regardless.

I've said before that you've never done anything even close to hurting or disappointing me, but this . . . it hurts in a whole different way.

 

[TY]

Dear Anonymous,

Patience is key, that's something you've taught me over plenty of years where my patience was as low as it could be. Good things come in time, but at this point I could use some good news after 3 years of constant bad things happening over and over.

I mean right now it may seem like everything is going well. It kinda is, considering I do not act like it's hitting the fan or like I'm extremely sad or anything, but deep inside it's still a broken mess. As long as I keep others entertained and happy I have no complaints. It makes me happy after all that I can bring smiles upon others.

Maybe the time for good things just takes a bit longer than I initially expected. I'll be fine, trust my word.

 

[Corrin]

Dear anonymous'

Please forgive me

 

[TY]

Dear Anon,

I probably should rethink a lot about my life. Idk if I'm hurting people or making them happy. Idk if I'm being liked or universally hated. I don't even know my future at this point. I'm probably overthinking right now but that one sleepless night got me thinking a lot. Parents who keep on pushing me to find love and bash me for it.

I feel all alone in this giant world and idk how to solve this puzzle.

 

[aurevesque]

Dear Anonymous,
Thank you for talking to me, a complete random stranger, and for being a genuine person to me. I think that life's successes come in the form of how you've interacted and touched other people's lives and I will always remember you fondly, even if I never got your name. ^.^

 

[colours]

da,

I'm genuinely tired of the petty bullshit that you've been pulling for the past decade or so. Whenever you get upset, you always get into this silent treatment mode. If you have something to say, then say it. I'm an adult, we can have adult conversations. There's no reason why you can't have a sensible conversation like mature people about your concerns instead of throwing a fit every time.

 

[TY]

Dear Anonymous

I really like you we should date.

Dear Anon,
Sometimes I'm just so ashamed of who I am and I should not be. I'm one hell of a human being and I often don't realise it.

 

[Purist of Black Water]

Dear Anonymous.

Why did you just bail when I wanted to talk to you.
I had my reasons, but you just took the childish way out...

oh well, not my loss.

 

[Zeostar]

DA,

I'm glad we could speak one final time before you became sick, even if it was through a phone. It's holiday season and I'm going to miss you more than ever. I know you looked forward to attending my high school graduation next year, and now you won't be able to. It's been a few months since you passed away and the realization you won't come back is beginning to hit me.

 

[Star Arcana]

DA,

You're probably the only person towards which my heart has grown so hard. I can't believe someone of your age, having lived through everything you have, could behave like such a spoiled child. The way you have, and continue to, treat my family is horrible. The things you've said and done, the way I felt when I had to visit, just thinking about it sets my anxiety off.

For years, you made being home so miserable and painful. I've never walked on so many eggshells for so long. You could say and do whatever you wanted, and we all had to take it. Had it been my choice, you would have never had so many freaking chances. I watched some of the people I care most about suffer at your hand, and I doubt I could forgive you for the ugly feelings you bestowed upon them.

And even now that you're farther removed from my life, you continue to haunt me like an angry specter. I'm medicated now, and I wouldn't be surprised if your presence triggered the mental health failings that nearly drove me crazy. Do you know how scary it is when the thoughts stalk you like prey, how weak you feel from trying and failing to escape them? Do you know how brutally your own mind can attack you for refusing the compulsions? I doubt you could, you're always deflecting, blaming any problems on a victim of your choosing.

Years ago, I could never write such a bitter rant. I could never put so much blame on a single person. I could never feel so coldly towards someone that should be family. Those I love are still exhausted, still recovering from the damage you've inflicted upon them. And for one of them in particular, you continue to extend their nightmare. You play them like a puppet, using their emotions as a tool for your own gain. It upsets me like you couldn't believe, how you've tormented them into being so dedicated to you.

My young adulthood has faded, and so many moments that could have been amazing were ruined by your negativity and selfishness. I'm ashamed of how resentful and bitter I am over this whole ordeal, but I can't seem to shake these feelings, Not so long as your shadow continues to loom over my family.

I do apologise though, I doubt my Caregiver would want me to direct these emotions your way. It's just, so much damage is done. I wish we could go our own ways in life, but it appears you'll always be chained to my family. Not until the final sunset of your life, or mine...

 

[Elite Overlord LeSabre™]

Dear Anon,

Thanks for meeting up with me and doing a photo shoot of my cosplay! Please try to remember to check your messages more often, though :P

Dear Anon,

Clemson won 38-3 last night. Hope you enjoy eating your crow.

Dear Anon,

I'll try to call you later today. I know I haven't been much in the talking mood lately, but I've had a lot on my plate. After all, we DO need to plan for when I see you over Christmas. Looking forward to seeing you, not so much the cold and snow lol

Dear Anon,

Thanks for another *wonderful* stay (I think I'm up to 13 times now?) at your QUALITY (Suites) facility :)

 

[Vragon]

Dear anonymous,

I've decided that you are no longer worth putting up with. You're selfish demeanor and overall bossy attitude have done enough to me and my self esteem. It was always about you and what you wanted wasn't it? Even from the start you showed how selfish you were and never gave a crap about how I felt only if I was there to be your punching bag. You're lucky that I'm a person that would listen, otherwise I would have quit you a year ago (and I've thought about it many times). You are an abusive terrible friend that I only held onto since I'm tired of having to add to the "Backstabbing me friends" counter.

If you recall anonymous I was your first friend here at college. I reached out and showed your friendship meant a lot. I was there when you needed to vent, took your anger, tried to keep calm as you ranted about this or that, put up with your petty things, apologized for many a thing (even things that weren't my fault) and came back because you and the others were my friends and club. But I'm done. All you ever do is belittle me and not humor I like, but out of pure praising yourself and your friends. Crying over trivial matters and using me as your punching bag when you don't get your way. You should be happy the length I let you abuse and even use me.

I hate friends that are too selfish to play their part. All I wanted was you too hold your end of the friendship. Show me you weren't like the others I've had and were a decent friend. But no, you and your selfish, egotistical, childish, immature, frustrating and overall despicable demeanor have finally convinced me to leave you be.

I'm glad that I have the maturity to not shout you down in the middle of a class unlike you, you complete nimrod. I'm glad I listen to my friends and am there, unlike you who forgot to come at the one chance we were going to talk about how I felt. I'm glad I know when to walk away, unlike your griping face that cries over things that don't even matter. I'm glad I accept things and move on, unlike you who just uses them as a means to put me down.

Goodbye anonymous,
perhaps things would have been different if you had been as good a person to me as I was to you. I don't claim perfection, but I do claim the better man. You are a pathetic thing and one of the worst of the scarring friends I've had. I wish you well for your future, cause I'm better than to wish you ill. I'm not like you and frankly, I hope I never do become you. I'm happy being an imperfect human that has a heart and a logical mind, unlike you who is self centered. Anonymous, I will put up with you still do to my patience, but only as I would a stranger.

It's time I cut my ties to such a weak hearted human being and I'll get over you easily. You'll just be another number on my counter. I don't need you and it's time I accept it and show I don't. I will move on and I will leave you behind. Your future is yours and mine I will face with pride.

Selfish friends aren't my friends,
Just as a friend that is loyal to me has my loyalty as well.

I won't forget what you've done nor will the scars heal like the others. But I'll wear them as I do many things. Cause, I accept what I have and embrace my bright future!

 

[colours]

da,

Can you literally stop fucking complaining about everything I do? It's people like you that make hate my job even more than I do currently. You're also super confusing, at first stating that you're ok with getting more than one table of customers at a time but yet when I do so later in the day (and you don't tell me otherwise) you have the audacity to bitch to me about it? Make up your fucking mind because I'm this close to blowing up on you and I'm starting not to care if it gets me in trouble because this job is complete trash anyway.

i also just don't understand what's so appealing about being mad for the sake of being mad, but somehow you do this anyway. listen, i get it, being a server sucks. a lot. i know you get a bunch of crap from customers and sometimes you don't get tipped the amount you guys deserve. but that in no way means that it's my fault for that.

da,

thank you for being one of the few people in this place that i genuinely enjoy working with. we share laughs and frustrations and sadness alike. we work together so often nowadays that it seems like we just connect naturally -- i make you laugh and drive you nuts, and you do the same to me -- after all, what is a job if you can't have some sort of fun? honestly, if it wasn't for you, I'd probably have left this place a LONG time ago, or at least be a lot more miserable than I am now.

I'm genuinely going to miss you a ton once I leave in a month or two.

 

[Yoshikko]

apologize if this is not the active thread? the forum isnt very navigable atm

da,

i dont have in my head what i want to say, i just need to get this all out of my system! i've known you for about half a year now, i remember the exact date i saw you last. it should have been a beginning of something but it was put on hold, youre so beautiful travelling the world and living out there and so this thing has been put on wait, but even after six months i've not forgotten any of the feelings i had that day. in regards to that time has stood still for me all these months. i've cried a lot, and also laughed a lot, and also hurt myself during that time, but i always come out confident of my feelings for you. i feel like it's been much longer, and like i've known you longer, because it's been so emotional. but i don't even know your last name, or where you come from (figuratively). everytime i'm worried it's just the idea of you i'm in love with, you prove me wrong by being your beautiful self (as little as online allows! but that is already enough). i've fantasized probably for hours in total about what i would do when i saw you again, what would happen between us, if anything would happen at all, what i'd say or ask, what i'd tell you. one thing i'd tell you is that you're beautiful, and that i care about you. i wish i had treasured those moments we had together more, but i was with my head in the clouds. had i known that would have been the last time for the coming six months, i would have been eyes open every second.

one time you sent me a voice message, somewhere about four days after i last saw you. i listened to it this morning, i hold onto that message for dear life. the care in your voice and hearing your voice at all gives me hope. but that is a you of six months ago, and the fear that something has changed is on my mind. but for me nothing has, and i'm reminded of that whenever i hear your voice of that day. i just hope we can pick up where we left off, and it won't have bled to death by the time i see you again.

Edit: well it happens you literally just sent me a voice message before i wrote this, but i was too scared to listen to it. i listened to it now and idk it probably brought up every kind of feeling i have about you. your voice expressed so much care and you said you wanted to see me and its like i'm right back in september when i saw you last. it's really crazy what this can do with me, just hearing your voice...it's enough to make me cry of joy. it makes me scared sometimes, that i won't know what to do with myself when i see you, but i know it will be good and that it's mutual, and that's keeping it alive.

 

[Taemin]

DA,

It's weird that you'll be leaving. On such a long trip, no less. Part of me really wants to you to stay, but that would be getting In the way of you doing what you wanna do. I totally get the feeling of wanting to make it big in LA, and I hope you do! I'd leave and travel if I could too. Though the idea of you taking such a long nature hike and separating from your family scares me, because who knows what could happen in the wilderness. I'll worry for weeks.. Please, please, please come back safe. You're inspiring to me, and important to me.

DA,

I'm getting tired of trying, and I hate it.

DA,

Thank you for aggressively being my friend during a point where I wondered if I should even put myself out there. I'm excited to cosplay with you!

 

[Palamon]

Dear Anonymous,

You're annoying, and I'm fucking tired of you. Stop staring at me and asking me stupid questions every day. Creep.

 

[Ivysaur]

DA

1- It's funny how right and wrong you were at the same time. It's kind of incredible. It's also really fun how much I want and really not want to talk to you at the same time. But I should pay attention to the part you were right about and... not.

2- Sorry I never know what to say, I swear I'm trying but I'm awful when I'm expected to talk to more than two people at the same time and I don't know one of them.

3- Wish I had made my mind up earlier.

4- Really miss hanging out with you.

5- Aggressively deletes the FB suggestion that I friend you