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Don't ask me "What are you doing?"

17,600
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19
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    • Seen May 9, 2024
    Don't ask me what I'm doing. Even if you're genuinely interested in what I'm doing. If I'm excited about what I'm doing in the moment, trust me, I will tell you because I'm just one of those people who will send someone a message, copy it, and then send it to literally everyone I talk to.

    If I don't tell you what I'm doing, chances are I'm doing something boring and you asking me what I'm doing will make me depressed about it because I lead a pretty boring life and I'm one of those people who need to be stimulated constantly by exciting things and people in order for me to not feel bored. I hate being bored and I hate the ordinary, and I'm usually both.

    How do you feel about being asked what you're doing?
     

    Oryx

    CoquettishCat
    13,184
    Posts
    13
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    • Age 31
    • Seen Jan 30, 2015
    I only ever get it from my boyfriend - I know that means he's bored and wants to talk but usually the answer is "nothing". That's the only reason why it annoys me, because I never do anything. :(
     

    Peter Quill

    Star-Lord, Legendary Outlaw
    239
    Posts
    10
    Years
  • If I am doing something boring, I just tell them "nothing much". I don't really mind being asked what I am doing though. Well, there's not much variation to the things I do every day so chances are they'll get the same answer.
     

    antemortem

    rest after tomorrow
    7,481
    Posts
    12
    Years
  • I ask people what they're doing when I either:
    • a) am about and about and thinking of them and might bring them food or something
    • b) I am going somewhere and want them to come, and am making sure they're not busy
    • c) have already gone somewhere and want them to come, and am making sure they're not busy
    It's more of a common courtesy or making sure I don't get my hopes up to invite them, especially if it's like a trip I took two days ago to the lake with a friend and we were bored and wanted more people to come, only to find that they're busy. So if I ask "hey what are you doing" and they say "nothing" then I can invite them. If not, then I move on to someone else. Otherwise I just ask the general "what's up" or "how are you" or something standard like that because I'm usually genuinely interested in what's going on with them. I won't ask if I don't give a ♥♥♥♥ though lol.
     

    £

    You're gonna have a bad time.
    947
    Posts
    10
    Years
  • depends. I'll give a basic answer sometimes but it shouldn't be a KEY CONVERSATION focus for someone. I had a conversation today that just kinda didn't kick off purely because there was nothing else to the conversation other than what I was doing.

    them: wuu2 m8
    me: playing fe nm wbu how's life
    them: omg fire emblems!!!
    me: yep
    them: when did you start playing?
    me: uh, an hour ago?
    them: k anything else?
    me: insert full details of every possible thing I did today
    them: in that order?

    I was just like REALLY not feeling the mood to force a conversation tbh. ;_; I kinda feel bad for being so crap with people that don't really make much effort with their conversation and I do try to an extent but there's only so much I'll try before I feel like it's pointless~
     
    13
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    9
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    • Seen Dec 29, 2014
    I'd usually just give a sarcastic reply because it's such a dead end question. Honestly no decent conversation will come from "what are you doing?"! It's just like no, ask me about what I would do if I could make things float or something.
     

    Candy

    [img]http://i.imgur.com/snz4bEm.png[/img]
    3,816
    Posts
    15
    Years
  • I'll be very honest, it bugs me. A lot. Like, what would you gain from peeking at my activity?

    I have this one internet friend that whenever our chat becomes completely silent, she'll just ask what am I doing. Oh, you know what, I'm doing nothing exciting. For example browsing the internet, reading through wikis and posting at forums while listening the music I have.

    Of course I would engage a conversation with you if either of us had a topic to discuss.

    My real life friends never bugged me with that question through other means, but when we're at the same location, they'll do it to strike up a conversation. Hey, in case you need to know, whatever I am doing means that I want to have solitude since they all require thinking, like drawing or writing. You being here means that I can't think straight without having to push you away from me.

    If I want to have a social interaction, you won't see me asking that question. It's just a useless way to strike up a conversation.
     
    3,419
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  • Usually use it as a gateway into conversation, but there are times when it's for a specific reason, like checking if they're busy or not. I'll bring it up if a conversation gets stale, as it tends to help one keep going, but if it's asked constantly it obviously gets annoying and loses any value it might've held.
     

    Sirfetch’d

    Guest
    0
    Posts
    Depends really. My dad asks this question ALL of the time and it drives me insane because he tends to ask when it is so damn obvious as to what I am doing :( Otherwise though I really don't mind the question unless I am doing something personal and then I will just answer "nothing". If anything it can be a good conversation starter so I am fine with it!
     

    Manitee

    bury me alive
    266
    Posts
    10
    Years
  • It's just an awkward thing people say to me when they don't know what to say to me. I don't like it.
     

    Altairis

    take me ☆ take you
    5,188
    Posts
    11
    Years
  • I find this question annoying because most of the time it's just to make conversation and I hate talking about myself or explaining things when it's obvious what I'm doing (ex. I've been asked this question while I'm reading).
     

    Kikaito plush

    Angeline plushxKikaito plush
    5,557
    Posts
    14
    Years
  • I find this question an waste of breath when people ask me this.
    I get this question a lot from my Mother in law and it's annoying when she keeps asking me.
     
    5,983
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    15
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  • I'm usually doing something, so I'd end up saying a more or less paraphrased version of "I'm busy". It's not that annoying to me, although it usually signals a coming distraction. Which isn't always unwelcome, to be honest.
     
    41,415
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  • I don't mind being asked what I'm doing but "how are you?" is a whole other ballgame. 99.9% of the time the answer you'd get is, "good!" or "same as always" because.. that's usually how it is. My life right now is fairly boring and repetitive so if something comes up chances are I'd talk about it before being asked how I am.

    But when someone does ask me what I'm doing then they can expect a "nothing much, just -insert action here" type of reply. It seems more like the type of thing you'd ask when you don't know what else to say.
     

    Sydian

    fake your death.
    33,379
    Posts
    16
    Years
  • Sometimes I'll ask people what they've been up to, but that encompasses a few days worth of stuff at least haha. At the end of the day, I ask my boyfriend how his day was and what he did, but yeah. I try not to ask "what are you doing?" to people cause I know that bothers me a bit too. Though lately, I've usually been doing something. lol
     

    Sonata

    Don't let me disappear
    13,642
    Posts
    11
    Years
  • I don't ever know what to talk about so I ask people all the time what they're up to. And I don't mind being asked what I'm doing because even if I was doing something awesome I'd get the same response from someone as I would if I were laying down getting ready to sleep.
     
    3,315
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    • Seen Jan 1, 2023
    lol i tend to find the people who get mad about this are people who never do anything...

    I don't care if you ask me what I'm doing. Only time I get a little irked is when it's something very obvious. Like If I'm watching a show and I know the other person knows what I'm watching I'm kind of like, "what does it look like..."
     

    Honest

    Hi!
    11,676
    Posts
    15
    Years
  • The question just seems like something one would say to engage in small talk, honestly, which I'm very open to, actually. If not that, then they're actually probably interested, in which case I'll tell them, assuming I'm not doing anything that requires a lot of attention. Wouldn't want to cut off a finger, oops.
     
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