Friends & Money

Her

Her

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    • Seen May 28, 2025
    Do you have policies that you follow when it comes to lending or giving friends money? Do you think your friendships are better off without money being involved?
     
    Friendships are by far better if they do not involve money. Normally, I will ask for gas money from friends if I have to drive them between places, but that's about it, and they usually agree. On the other hand, I try to stay away from being a freeloader or letting people be freeloaders off of me. Thankfully I have never run into any hostility with my friends over freeloading.
     
    I don't have any friends, but if I did I would be quite happy to lend them money if we had an agreement beforehand when they would pay it back. If trust is an integral part of friendship - is it? - then I think one should be able to trust people enough to lend them money (and be able to ask for that in return if necessary) but, at the same time...well, it would depend on the amount and the frequency. Obviously there is a line between being a helping hand and a private ATM.
     
    I don't have money to lend, but if I did it would mostly be small amounts I wouldn't miss. I'm not that trusting to be returned it.
     
    I'll give my friends like $20 or something if they need it and not stress if they pay me back, but I just won't loan big amounts. $100 isn't worth loosing a friendship over :(
     
    I've never had a friend ask me for big amounts (and neither have I), our money discussions are mostly related to costs for a shared meal or something.
     
    I have nothing since I don't tend to have people asking me for money these days.

    I can't even say how much I would give a person, since it would depend on how much I trust them, plus how much I'm comfortably willing to give at that time. But I have given small amounts to people before just because they needed it and I felt like I could do it with few problems. I didn't get paid back, but I don't think I expected to in the first place, heh.
     
    if you loan to your friends, you will never get it back

    consider any money you give your friends a gift and dont expect anything in return

    I really only loan no more than $10 for this very reason. And it all evens out. Sometimes I dont pay back. they dont pay back. Its just a friendship- its more important than your spare change.
     
    BadSheep said:
    if you loan to your friends, you will never get it back

    consider any money you give your friends a gift and dont expect anything in return

    I really only loan no more than $10 for this very reason. And it all evens out. Sometimes I dont pay back. they dont pay back. Its just a friendship- its more important than your spare change.
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    Can confirm, friends are shitty and never give money back when I lend it to them. SAD.
     
    Lucid said:
    I'll give my friends like $20 or something if they need it and not stress if they pay me back, but I just won't loan big amounts. $100 isn't worth loosing a friendship over :(
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    hey bro waddup, can you lend me $20
     
    yea i mean, i have to know the person very well. and there's usually a threshold. I probably wouldn't lend you more than $20 and I want to know how and when you intend to pay me back.
     
    Generally if I can afford to spare the cash, I consider it gone!

    I'll willingly accept repayment and such but by default won't expect it unless it's promised. I don't loan out large amounts though, and sometimes none because I don't like how money can corrupt a friendship. You have to really need it and catch me when I'm not broke {very rare and hard to do}
     
    El H?roe Oscuro said:
    Can confirm, friends are ****ty and never give money back when I lend it to them. SAD.
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    this reads like a trump tweet

    anyways, my closest friends and i participate in the honor system. we always just pay it forward to each other no matter what, so all debts are more or less assumed to have evened out in the end. we're all in revolving financial situations so we get that no one individual is going to be consistently paying more often than another.

    honestly tbh i sort of kind of hate my more casual friends that hound me to pay back like, $2.78 because i'm less likely to want to pay it forward to them. being really anal about who owes what a trivial amount of money (when not in a critical financial situation) feels to me like a lack of trust.

    it's probably just confirmation bias talking, but my friends that do the whole honor system with me are less likely to be fairweather friends when someone really needs them. guess there may just be more trust and openness associated lol.
     
    Flan said:
    this reads like a trump tweet

    anyways, my closest friends and i participate in the honor system. we always just pay it forward to each other no matter what, so all debts are more or less assumed to have evened out in the end. we're all in revolving financial situations so we get that no one individual is going to be consistently paying more often than another.

    honestly tbh i sort of kind of hate my more casual friends that hound me to pay back like, $2.78 because i'm less likely to want to pay it forward to them. being really anal about who owes what a trivial amount of money (when not in a critical financial situation) feels to me like a lack of trust.

    it's probably just confirmation bias talking, but my friends that do the whole honor system with me are less likely to be fairweather friends when someone really needs them. guess there may just be more trust and openness associated lol.
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    That was the goal my friend (;
     
    I've had shitty friends when I was a teen that took advantage of the fact that I was earning my own cash. They didn't work and kept refusing to do stuff with me unless I'd buy them food or something.

    Now I have money and no friends. Good.
     
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