Help & Advice Thread

[Her]

So since October 2015 I've worked as a substitute custodian for the town's school district. Some form of part-time school cleaning is the only job I've ever had really. I've been told that there should be an opening for a full time position posted soon, since one of the high school janitors is retiring September 1st. A few of the janitors have been insisting that I apply for it.

Now, I don't really enjoy the work and the thought of being a janitor for many years and doing the work 5 days a week kinda makes me wanna blow my brains out. But the thing is.....I'm 23, and out of college. I can't keep living at my parent's house forever. However, I've also been told that apparently the pay is $13/hr, which as far as I know is not enough to live on your own in New Jersey. Now, why not just try to find some other sort of job? I really doubt I'd get hired anywhere else. Only reason I ever got hired by the board of ed to begin with is because my mother is also employed by the board of ed. I don't really have any useful skills or knowledge, and my degree's not terribly useful either (B.S. in geology), but I have no interest in pursuing a career in that field anyway. I don't really have any qualities that employers would find attractive. Nevermind the fact that other jobs may not even pay enough for me to live on my own either.

So do I just stick with the subbing? Take the full time job even though I don't like the work and it doesn't give me enough income anyway? Pick a god and pray that I can somehow get some other decent paying work? Like the fuck am I supposed to do here

Constantly look around for a better job, but you've detailed the low likelihood of that happening for the meanwhile. Unfortunately, you are going to have to take the full-time janitorial job for a couple of reasons, really.

This current part-time job is your only work experience and at the age of 23, that's not exactly good for employers to see. Janitor duty isn't exactly the most exciting thing to see on a resume and part time work at that is going to thrill them even less. By all means, if you can find a job you loathe less than your current one, take it. But you're going to have to take a full-time job as quickly as you can in order to get a record of dependability and showing that you can slug through menial tasks reliably, which to be honest, is kind of essential for someone who is young and doesn't have a degree which screams 'EMPLOY ME!'. Bolstering up your resume any way you can is your main goal if you can't find a job in your chosen field. So if you have the option to do so now, you might as well take it, even if you loathe it.

Secondly, even if it doesn't give you enough money to live on your own at present time, it will give you enough money to at least think about what you're going to do in the future. Accrue a theoretical nest egg of sorts. It may also alleviate pressure off your parents if you can show that you can provide for yourself even if you are currently living under their roof.

 

[Kanzler]

So since October 2015 I've worked as a substitute custodian for the town's school district. Some form of part-time school cleaning is the only job I've ever had really. I've been told that there should be an opening for a full time position posted soon, since one of the high school janitors is retiring September 1st. A few of the janitors have been insisting that I apply for it.

Now, I don't really enjoy the work and the thought of being a janitor for many years and doing the work 5 days a week kinda makes me wanna blow my brains out. But the thing is.....I'm 23, and out of college. I can't keep living at my parent's house forever. However, I've also been told that apparently the pay is $13/hr, which as far as I know is not enough to live on your own in New Jersey. Now, why not just try to find some other sort of job? I really doubt I'd get hired anywhere else. Only reason I ever got hired by the board of ed to begin with is because my mother is also employed by the board of ed. I don't really have any useful skills or knowledge, and my degree's not terribly useful either (B.S. in geology), but I have no interest in pursuing a career in that field anyway. I don't really have any qualities that employers would find attractive. Nevermind the fact that other jobs may not even pay enough for me to live on my own either.

So do I just stick with the subbing? Take the full time job even though I don't like the work and it doesn't give me enough income anyway? Pick a god and pray that I can somehow get some other decent paying work? Like the **** am I supposed to do here

Is there a problem with taking on this job to make ends meet and leaving as soon as you find a better one? You're young and you want something better, so don't worry too much about loyalty.

Have you thought about getting a warehouse job? It might be physical, but most likely it'll involve working with other people (possibly in your age range too) so as long as it pays about $14 or so it'll be less boring and better than what you have right now.

$13 per hour x 7.5 hours x 5 days a week will net you pretty good money if you still live with your parents and don't have to take care of food and housing. What would you do if you didn't have this job? If that means sitting at home for 16 hours a day, how long do you think you could last before you want to blow your brains out?

If you've been out of school for just a year, you might still be able to get in touch with career services to help you with job applications. I think now would be a good time to start firing out those job applications, especially when you're still part time so you have better availability. Do interviews "for fun" so it's low pressure and it helps you build up your interviewing ability. What Harley said.

Is there any redeeming value you can find in your field of study? As a complete layman, a geology degree sounds like it can open doors in the petroleum industry. Hope that people continue to vote Republican, get hired, and get rich :P

 

[gimmepie]

A degree in Geology could open doors in petroleum or mining. You could also use the degree to get a job in education.

As for the short term though, Kanzler and Harley are 100% right.

 

[Nah]

I already said this, but I'm really not interested in pursuing a geology related career, whether it's in petroleum or research or education or whatever.

It seems as if my only option is to apply for the full time job whenever they open up applications for that....

 

[kendypls]

It seems as if my only option is to apply for the full time job whenever they open up applications for that....

Well what else do you WANT to do? This definitely isn't your only option, it sounds like you are thinking about 'qualified this' and 'experience that', when what you should be thinking is, 'what would I like to do and how do I get there...'

 

[Nah]

Well what else do you WANT to do? This definitely isn't your only option, it sounds like you are thinking about 'qualified this' and 'experience that', when what you should be thinking is, 'what would I like to do and how do I get there...'

Well that's the thing

I have no idea what I want to do

 

[donavannj]

Well that's the thing

I have no idea what I want to do

Are there things you're interested in doing as a profession?

 

[Nah]

Are there things you're interested in doing as a profession?

Not that I can think of.

 

[Kanzler]

Not that I can think of.

What do you like to do in your spare time?

Start thinking about this stuff seriously for the next couple of weeks.

 

[Esper]

I already said this, but I'm really not interested in pursuing a geology related career, whether it's in petroleum or research or education or whatever.

It seems as if my only option is to apply for the full time job whenever they open up applications for that....

I studied history and literature in college, but my job doesn't revolve around that. Aside from the fact I work at a school it really isn't related to my schoolwork except that I learned general skills like how to write something that's intelligible, use a computer, etc. Basically, my degree was a ticket that said "I'm reliably intelligent and responsible" and while that alone isn't going to open every door, it does open some. A college degree isn't necessarily worth the money and won't get you a great job on its own, but it will help bolster any attempts you make to get a job regardless of the field of study you followed. It's all about how you spin it. So, if you can't find a job that really appeals to you, find one whose pay or schedule does and then go for it. Unless it's a technical or vocational job they'll help you learn how to do it once you get the job. Again, a lot of it is in you getting them to see that you're capable.

Also, this sort of relates to your situation, but I also was working part time at a school for not much more than minimum wage and I was able to use that to get myself into a better paying position in another part of the school completely unrelated to what I was doing before (cashiering and stuff at a bookstore to office work). I mean, it's not a dream job and sometimes I just hate it, but it does give me an improved quality of life in that I'm not poor and I have something I can put on my resume if/when I need to change.

 

[Nah]

I'm not necessarily looking for a dream job. I just want a job that pays enough for me to live by myself. Problem is that I don't think I'm capable of getting that or working my way up to that.

What do you like to do in your spare time?

I take it you're asking so you can say "pursue a career in the stuff you like to do then"

Being on the internet and playing video games (and occasionally reading) doesn't really translate into jobs well.

Before anyone says "try getting into game design or working for a gaming company" or something, no. Just because I like playing them doesn't mean I would be any good at and/or have any interest in all the other stuff related to them.

 

[Kanzler]

I take it you're asking so you can say "pursue a career in the stuff you like to do then"

Being on the internet and playing video games (and occasionally reading) doesn't really translate into jobs well.

Before anyone says "try getting into game design or working for a gaming company" or something, no. Just because I like playing them doesn't mean I would be any good at and/or have any interest in all the other stuff related to them.

Fair enough. What kind of reading and internet stuff?

 

[donavannj]

I'm not necessarily looking for a dream job. I just want a job that pays enough for me to live by myself. Problem is that I don't think I'm capable of getting that or working my way up to that.

While it's perfectly alright and normal to not be working in your dream job or to even have a dream job, having a career goal gives you a long-term endgame to be at career-wise. Because you'll probably want something that allows you to live on your own but also will fund your retirement.

 

[Master Snowy]

What to do?

Post deleted. Topic resolved.

Thank you very much for your help, Drogan, Harley Quinn and Nonibros! :)

Post deleted because I do not want this topic here or discussed any further than that. The information is very private to me.

Thank you for understanding.

 

[Drogan]

Goodness that's rough.

All I can say is to not immediately go with someone's advice, but to take it into consideration. It's horrible that you two are going through this and I hope that your situation improves soon. Sorry if, what I said, is not helpful.

 

[Her]

The family arrangement aspect makes me raise my eyebrows a bit! But if you love him/consent, that's fine.

I mean, you are right when you say that all signs point towards you having grounds to dump him or not be romantically involved with him. Bear in mind, I'm the friend who will tell a friend to Dump The Man regardless of what kind of relationship advice they want, lol. But yeah - you're lonely, unfulfilled and stuck in a situation which is unbearable for you, with at least two more years of this to go. Even if you do love him, you'd be totally within reason to remove yourself from the equation.

I could go try the Just Stick To It line of thought, but from the sounds of things you have been remarkably patient (and then some) given your situation. So I think there isn't much more to say there.

I'm guessing there is no way, financially or legally, for you to be closer to him and help lessen some of the loneliness you both must be feeling. Which really sucks. It all comes down to how long you want to be with someone who through no fault of his own has no time for you, I guess. Or rather, how long you want to remain romantically involved while he's still studying/has this schedule. Not to mention that, well, it could become even more hectic post-study when he doesn't have a schedule and he may have to spend all his time looking for a job/working. I think you should consider the idea of possibly taking a break and seeing how you cope without having the constant stress of wanting to be with someone who simply cannot be with you, or even talk to you, for consistently long periods of time. There's nothing wrong with waiting until he's able to give you the time you deserve. If you or him find someone else (depending on what you choose to define as a 'break'), well, all the power to both of you.

 

[Master Snowy]

Thank you very much, Drogan and Harley Quinn

@Drogan: Haha, don't worry... It felt good to see that you cared enough to reply (and your advice is very true and well received Xp). So, it calmed me down and made me feel good for a good while.

@Harley Quinn: Wow, I agree with everything you said there and it makes sense. :)

And as for the break thing- I absolutely agree with you there. :)

I absolutely agree with everything you just said and I have been considering this from a long time now.

So, I will probably just go on a break for a while till I figure out what I want.

I think he wouldn't mind taking a bit of a break either...

Guess we just need to all cool off XD

Thank you very much, Harley Quinn and Drogan! :)

This really helps me reconsider things a lot

 

[0]

Thank you very much, Drogan and Harley Quinn

@Drogan: Haha, don't worry... It felt good to see that you cared enough to reply (and your advice is very true and well received Xp). So, it calmed me down and made me feel good for a good while.

@Harley Quinn: Wow, I agree with everything you said there and it makes sense. :)

And as for the break thing- I absolutely agree with you there. :)

I absolutely agree with everything you just said and I have been considering this from a long time now.

So, I will probably just go on a break for a while till I figure out what I want.

I think he wouldn't mind taking a bit of a break either...

Guess we just need to all cool off XD

Thank you very much, Harley Quinn and Drogan! :)

This really helps me reconsider things a lot

Welcome back Snowy...




Now, on to this. I did not know that it was by family arrangement, and like Harley said, if you love him, that's fine.


Now, I'm just thinking a bit on this, and I'm wondering what is meant by break? Dating and sleeping with others, or how does this work? At the very least, you both would need to discuss this part with each other, very carefully. As humans we have both emotional and sexual needs, and they simply aren't being fulfilled as things stand.


With that being said, however, you need to understand that you fiance is working for the both of you, unless I am wrong. He is working to make a better life for you guys so that you can raise your children and live happily as a couple. If you take a "break" on him, without his knowledge, it is a total betrayal of trust, and I for one would not tolerate it. I would simply end it, and that would be that.


In your considerations, you need to really know how much you love him. You could make this a thing of mutual longing and duty, but you need to decide what both of you want. I know its not easy, but don't just take a "break" on him without talking to him, or its over, for good. He will find out, and that would be that.


This isn't an easy choice, but its one that you should both share together. If you are ok with him being with others, and he is ok as well, then try it. But be wary of this, because if you grow fond of a person you date, that can also end the relationship.


Thanks for reading!

I'm not necessarily looking for a dream job. I just want a job that pays enough for me to live by myself. Problem is that I don't think I'm capable of getting that or working my way up to that.


I take it you're asking so you can say "pursue a career in the stuff you like to do then"

Being on the internet and playing video games (and occasionally reading) doesn't really translate into jobs well.

Before anyone says "try getting into game design or working for a gaming company" or something, no. Just because I like playing them doesn't mean I would be any good at and/or have any interest in all the other stuff related to them.

Why not upgrade to admin? :p


But, take the full time for now. Few people in their twenties really know what they want to do, so just do what you can get. Infact try many different things. Cashiering, programming, those are some examples. Try everything out. Yeah...

 

[Her]

I thought it was implied that taking a break from someone would at the very least mean informing the other person of one's feelings. Apparently implications are not that easy to grasp.

 

[0]

Nah, you deleted one too many... The second post of mine was actually contributing to the argument.... It was an extension and clarification to my first post, so plox put it back?


But a ways, why not be Admin? Decent pay, you get to be on here full time, and it would be fun, no? :)