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How Did Your Parents Treat You?

Insert some treatise about angsty relations with parents here. I'm going to rant now.

I don't like my parents. My mother in particular grates on me. The way she speaks, that high pitched annoying voice with that accent... yelling loudly through the door... it makes me jump out of my skin and immediately causes my body to tense up with stress. She's so stupid, and it isn't just because of the fact that there's a language barrier between us. (She came from another country, and I grew up here, speaking English) Explaining basic concepts to her is a chore. You have to repeat yourself so many times because she wasn't paying attention. Her mind is always spacing out in every direction, and having a conversation with her is like slogging your way through a swamp. It goes nowhere.

Let's not even mention the fact that during my childhood, she was constantly screaming and shouting, going on random complaints throughout the house about how nobody appreciates her. She always complains about something and over-exaggerates her problems and makes excuses not to go to work. Luckily, since my fiance moved in, she has been much more hesitant to do these things. When introduced to a stranger, she always puts on this fake cover and is afraid to offend. It's a nice barrier from the bullshit I've had to bear.

By the way, he doesn't like her either. He also finds her existence grating, and both of us feel like prisoners in our small room. If we want to make food or eat, we wait for them to leave the kitchen just to avoid speaking or contact. It takes forever sometimes, because they just sit in there for hours for no discernible reason. And that only makes me more frustrated. I wish I didn't feel trapped in my own room.

All she knows is anxiety and screaming. She was never reassuring to me as a child. I was concerned, I was sick, I said ANYTHING bad, and she would freak out and blow it out of proportion. This is partially the reason why I am so neurotic about everything. My whole childhood was keeping secrets, not saying anything, not letting any emotions slip through, for fear of that insane woman going on a loud tirade. Perhaps yelling isn't that big a deal to some people, but to me, loud noises are immensely painful. I hate them so much.

I never had any guidance, and they never taught me anything about being an adult. Because my mom never wants her children to leave. She wants us to be dependent on her forever. And I would be, if it wasn't for the fact that I found my fiance. He is teaching me more than they have ever.

As for my dad? He might as well not even have been there. All he did was buy me stuff and randomly become angry for no reason sometimes. (And when he did, he had the most harsh criticisms. Much harsher than my mother. So many things he has said to me in that state) Even though he's smarter than she is, he speaks even less English, and that language barrier is basically insurmountable as I lose more and more of my skills in their language.

To me, my parents were never real parents. They were just people who created me and then kept me alive. I know they care, and I know they try, and I appreciate the fact that they're letting us live here until we can get our financial shit together, but they were just so bad at being parents that my patience has been broken. I can't stand to be in the same room as my mother for longer than five minutes. And I just want to go away and only talk to them on occasion by phone. They're pretty old, and I know my dad doesn't have much more than ten or fifteen years left, but I know that there's not much I can do about the state of our relationship. If they die, well... I hate to say it, but it wouldn't bother me extensively. Sure, it would be a disturbing thought that I would never see them again. Something weird because they've always been in my life, but it wouldn't be like... this super sad thing. It's just that I'm not very close to them, and family isn't enough to justify it. I have to know you on a deeper level, to be able to speak and hold actual conversations, to care that much.
 
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Hades said:
My mom was good, but my dad was an alcoholic and very neglectful of us, it was mom who clothed us, loved us, and gave us Christmas/Birthdays, dad did none of that.
Despite this, he wasn't the worst person ever? Like he told us he loved us and did the bills and such, so there's that. But there was anxiety as they'd fight a lot and well, the police came more than once.

Now that we're older, he's really cleaned up a lot, and is much better though.
Click to expand...

I feel you. Both my parents are smokers and that's definitely effected us. Even being near cigarette smoke has been known to cause lung cancer. People have pleaded them to stop with no luck. The drug is ruining their lives and I feel so helpless. D:
 
What a loaded subject. I shall try to compress my thoughts as much as possible.

In a single answer, yes, my parents did treat me well. I write this as an independent adult, no longer needing the fiery guise of feeling oppressed on their turf, as I suspect the great majority of teens feel to some degree.

My parents gave me a stable foundation and access to many enriching things. They also displayed moments of superior dimwittedness and were clumsily shortsighted in terms of my development (where a fear of what they did not understand would guide their judgement).

While they rarely had my desires at heart I do believe they always had my safety in mind which is luxurious when compared to the parental relationships some of my friends have described to me.
 
My biological dad was neglectful when he was around. Unless it was to play video games I didn't exist to him. He is often thought of as a monster for this but I think it affected me the least.

My mum was neglectful to an extent too but I think she meant well. She just lived in a fantasy land where the latest man in her life was far more important. It was very apparent that I was mentally ill growing up and she did absolutely nothing to remedy it.

One of her partners did support my mum, sister and I for a while on a small wage. I respect him for that. He also took more interest in my education, goals, etc than either biological parent ever did. However, he was a bit old fashioned in regards to punishment. He hit my sister and I with a stick a few times. He would also bully me for being mentally ill and having next to no friends and encouraged boys he taught to do the same.

I'm much better now but still have a way to go before I'll consider myself 'normal'. I blame all parents. Kids at school bullied me but they're kids. I was getting just as much grief from people who should have known better. Who were meant to care for me.

I'm also scared I'd make mistakes as a parent, but I think my upbringing has taught me what not to do. I can only do better, right?
 
For me its always been my mum here for me. I have always been able to speak to my mum about anything and she is very understanding.
My mum had an affair with my dad and I never seen him until last year. My mum told me that when I was a baby that he saw me a couple of times.
I was brought up with two step fathers.
The first one was the one I considered my real dad but all I remember of him was him sitting around in kitchen doing tobacco and playing the poker all the time. I could hear them both shouting from downstairs alot of the time.
Then my mother broke up with him and it was me and her for most of the time. We struggled and lived in an area that wasnt really attractive.
My mum then met another man and this one was really good with my mum. He supported me and her alot. He takes alot of interest in my education and geniunely cares about us. We moved out and we live in a much better area now.

I knew nothing about my real dad but I started being curious asking my mum questions and then we arranged to meet up. Everything was going fine until five months later he texts me over facebook writing a long paragraph saying he is not seeing me anymore because of my mother.

Personally I think I am to young to start thinking about children but there is one thing I do know is that I want to make sure is that I have a stable and good finical situation going on before I ever have children.
 
My upbringing was pretty meh. Alcoholic deadbeat father and a mother with PTSD. That being said, they've both never been mean to me, on the contrary they've been too nice imo lol. I could have used a lot more discipline as a kid, they would have let me get away with murder which honestly isn't as great as it probably sounds to some kids with strict parents. I had to fend for myself and pretty much learn responsibility on my own which isn't easy when there's no guidance, so I suffered a lot in school until I started taking my own initiative at the end of high school when it was pretty much too late for my GPA. Anyway...

If you have strict parents*, consider yourself lucky. For real.

*strict as in actually strict as far as consistent with discipline and instilling responsibility, not borderline-abusive strict
 
Very loosely, I don't remember getting grounded a single time once I reached the age of 13 and I definitely could have at some point. I only got into trouble as a kid because I would be pretty damn abusive to my sister. She, of course, would keep infuriating me into hitting her because she received 0% of the blame. The fact that they never punished her for "button pushing" has literally influenced how I mod Ubers today, as I've handed out multiple infractions to people eliciting angry responses from some of Ubers edgelords like Problems and Hack. You don't get to antagonize people in a subtle way and get away with it on my watch!
 
My dad passed away when I was young. My mom does what she can, she used to work 6 AM to 10PM work shifts when I was in middle school, so I had to learn to be on my own. As a parent, she doesn't really get too involved in things either. If I'm failing a class or something, it's on me. Not that she's neglectful, she gets me anywhere I need to be, and she attends anything I'd like her to be at, such as school choir performances. I still respect her greatly.

If I need help for things, such as job applications, I've gone to teachers at school. Most of them have been pretty supportive.

Leaving High School in June makes me a little nervous, I've never been pushed to do things, so now I'm left scrambling to find something I'm passionate about. Also learning to drive is another example, my mom was more than happy to get me a book, but as for figuring it out, it's been all on me. Losing my grandmother this summer hasn't helped, as she was my role model and one of the only people motivating me.
 
My parents are good people

*rant incoming*
Ok so I am the most anti abuse guy in the forums. Just reading the back of "a child called it" sends me into a frenzy. I am mad at your parents and think they should jump in the void. AAAARRRRRRRGGGG
 
My parents are good people. They have always been very supportive and if I ever stepped out of line they'd sit me down and explain why that was wrong.

I've always been close to my parents. Still am.
 
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My mom broke up with my dad when I was born and she has been a single mom for 9 years till she met my stepdad. Pretty much I used to have the same life as Rapunzel locked up in my room and my mom is like the witch in Rapunzel's story. My mom is possessive over me, she used to hit me when I was young, and we argue alot. Whenever I go to a new School, my mom would always escort me and same thing with College which was embarrassing and she keeps telling me to eat this which I know already and she treats me as if I'm very stupid thinking that I can't watch out for myself. She always wants to know where I'm going when I am going out and if I just leave without telling her where I'm going, she calls the police. My sister eloped and secretly got married and my mom just gave up on my sister but is still possessive over me. Last year my mom got a pain on her foot and her foot became even more painful after her surgery. Ever since she got a surgery on her foot, I started going out more by myself wanting to experience the outside world I never knew existed.
 
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My dad was pretty awful. I'm glad my mom isn't with him anymore. Don't wanna even get into the details....

But my mom has always been very kind to me and to this day I still see her as a really good friend :) I wanna make mother's day really special for her this year as a big thank you to her for always being a great mom friend to me ^____^

Though, when I was younger, due to confusion about my dad, and my parents always arguing, i used to be very afraid of upsetting my mom too. Not out of fear that she'd be mean to me, I think, though; but out of fear I may be really hurting her :(

It was hard living with my dad. I feel me and my mom overall get along very well now that he's gone though.
 
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I have very much good understanding with my parents, They quite understand me well, although they quite restrict me to do many things which always end up with fights but usually after 2 to 3 days they literally forgot everything & everything went back to normal & smooth.
 
My mother is one of the worst humans in this world (imagine someone who takes your final exam homework away, rips it up, then drives you to school personally to explain to your teacher why you have nothing to submit and thus failing your course) and my father is clinically insane and a stalker... but I had better things to do than be brought down by these things, so I made it out alright.

The ultimate bitter victory is surviving, to see people like that eventually fall.
 
My parents were good to me, unbearable at times though. Unrelated but my uncle is an annoying idiot, made dumb jokes and treated me like a fool.
 
My only real complaint is that my single mother never really offered to talk things through with me in depth, as I like doing by nature.

When I have a problem now, I have to vent to friends because my family (her and my grandparents) always offered just the conservative and unhelpful answer of "Just do it and get over with it" or something without being too helpful.

In time, I didn't bother because I didn't want to hear that and could predict their responses and knew they were no help.


Just like with my friends, I know that any kid of mine could always have someone to confide in and work out their problems. Since that's the one thing I've always wanted, I'd never let a kid feel like I did growing up, so alone and conflicted without anyone to vent to.

It creates a lot of loneliness.
 
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