I love you, but...

Palamon

Silence is Purple
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    Ever have a time where love didn't work out for you? Please be considerate of others when replying.
     
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    Yeah. My first relationship at age 16-17 was with whom I thought would be my first and last love, but alas. For him sooner than me, the distance got unbearable (he was in Alberta, Canada and I was in NYC, USA). He got incredibly upset my parents wouldn't let me come visit him for Christmas (after he had just returned from his trip to visit me) and slowly stopped talking to me. He'd start by being online but taking hours to respond to my IMs, then not replying altogether, and then finally barely even signing on. Eventually he made me believe that he was moving out and wouldn't have internet. I believed that for years while waiting for him to come back, until later on I stumbled upon one of the people we were both friends with posting fanart she drew for him. He changed his MSN handle (good times MSN!!) and moved on like I didn't exist. Made my stomach turn to just be abandoned like that, but eh, we were teenagers and I wasn't exactly the most mature girl on the planet. Far from it lol.

    Looking back on it is pretty funny at this point though. I remember years ago it'd be hard to even mention it happened, but now it's something I can talk about casually and just laugh over. Honestly when we met irl for the first time I didn't even click with him, so it wasn't meant to be. Just never feels nice to be set aside like that, regardless of if you like the person anymore or not.
     
    I've made more mistakes in pursuing love than I should have.
    The most life-changing one for me was when I dropped out of college to move halfway across to pursue a love interest. Long story short, it left me mentally broken and five years later, I'm still recovering from the damage that one individual did to me.
    My other relationships that came after weren't much better, but that one was definitely what converted me from one of the happiest people ever into a miserable and depressed shell of what I used to be. Though, good news is, I've made a lot of progress and I wouldn't call myself a shell of what I used to be anymore. But I definitely don't want to ever speak to any of those individuals again, let alone even speak to them. Gotta move on and all that : )
     
    I'm in love with a singer but for sure I know we will never end up together.
     
    Yeah in high school I really liked a girl I met online, but the relationship was plagued by fear of judgement for having an "online" girlfriend. She felt the same way about "online" boyfriends. We both skirted around the idea, and eventually started dating other people, but my relationship ended while hers kept going. I couldn't handle that she was dating someone else, and it basically tore us apart. I definitely could've handled it better. But the whole thing was messy from the start. We lived pretty close, so in retrospect, if we had both ignored the fear of judgement for having an online relationship, it probably could've ended well. We had a lot of similar interests and used to talk for hours on end, days at a time. I distinctly remember trying to apply to the same Universities she was going to apply to, so that we could eventually be together irl.
     
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    Yep. Twice.

    First was my marriage (I'm divorced). We were high school sweethearts and got married after being together 9 years, but we were still very young. We grew into very different people and it ended up not working out. The split was very easy and we are both better people because of it.

    Second was a girl I worked with. Absolutely gorgeous and fun to be with. We both fell in love quick, but she required ALL of my free time and our interests weren't similar enough for the relationship to work. I still think about her often, but I know I made the right choice.
     
    Happens so often that you just wonder "why do i even try anymore"
     
    too many times. most of my relationships were online, and i was very young and immature at the times i did them, so they often didn't work out. also for some reason i was attracted to the worst people.

    i think the worst breakup i had though was when i dated this boy online for 4 months and then found out he was cheating on me for like 2 months. he didn't know it was cheating apparently, and it sucked. found out a few days before my birthday, too. however 2 years later he tried to contact me and he apologized, and i guess we're okay now. we're acquaintances or whatever so.

    but it's okay. all this hearbreak and misery was sort of worth it because i found someone way better, at the most unexpected time. i'm a lot happier with the person i'm with now and i wouldn't have it any other way.
     
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