If Santa offered you to join his elves, would you say Yes?

[Zeostar]

If Santa sent you an elf outfit in the mail, with an invitation to the North Pole, would you accept?

 

[Palamon]

Why the hell would I say yes to that?

 

[strangerhypno]

No thanks, it's cold and I'll be thousands of miles away from home. I'll be working for free day and night in a elf's suit which is probably like 10 times less my size.

 

[Kikaito plush]

No thank you I'll pass

 

[gimmepie]

Fuck. No.

Shit hours doing menial labour in the blistering cold in a ridiculous uniform while your fat boss works one day a year and gets all the credit. pfffft

 

[Sawsbuck]

Fuck. No.

Shit hours doing menial labour in the blistering cold in a ridiculous uniform while your fat boss works one day a year and gets all the credit. pfffft

Ikr

 

[Auticorn]

Nah... I don't interact well with others. XD Plus, doing all that hard labor isn't good for my poor stamina and being slightly overweight...

 

[Somewhere_]

It depends how much I'm paid, what my hours are, and the benefits I would receive. I dont think I would do it more than a year though, regardless.

 

[string555]

Drop the elf outfit part and I'm in, but only if I get to help design the toys. :3

Even though I don't really like to think of my programs as toys, the programs I make kind of are educational toys, in a sense. :P

 

[Dter ic]

I'd give it a decade at least where elves will be doing anything else but manufacturing toys when robots can do it.

So I'll wait when a suitable position comes up ;P

 

[Mobile Tsk]

Fuck no unless this was like a one-day fantasy type of thing

 

[Sirfetch’d]

Umm yass

 

[Nah]

of course I would

You see, the idea of manufacturing and bringing presents to children all over the world on a certain day of the year was an idea we came up with together. You wouldn't know it though because it's not common knowledge. Claus wiped me out of the records.

He ran the books, I led the men. Worked real well for a while. Then Claus decided to start hiring elves. "Cheaper labor", he said. "Goddamn terrorists", I said. One day, he turned my men against me. He paid six of them off to restrain me while he put a gun to my head and pulled the trigger.

How did I survive a gunshot to the head, you ask? Well, a stubborn enough person can survive just about anything. Rage is a hell of an anesthetic.

For decades now I've been trying to track him down so I can kill the bastard. We manaketes live for thousands of years, so I can afford to be very patient, wait for him to slip up, take time to obscure my identity. Asshole's getting fat, old, and cocky, if what little information there is out there about him is true. Bastard probably doesn't even know that I'm not dead.

So when a letter arrives giving me his exact location? You can bet your goddamn ass that bastard Claus is getting torched.