[Life] Mental health club
- Thread starter Greninja use Water Shuriken!
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I can't have anything that requires a magnet because I have a pacemaker/difibrulator. What they explained to me was they would ween me off what medication I'd be on and then try to see what causes me to have a seziure. Try and trigger me, keep me up all night, not let me eat.....I'd be in the hospital for at least 2 weeks.
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The death of the talented and handsome young actor Chadwick Boseman from Black Panther has hit really close to home right now. I have lost loved ones to cancer, my uncle died of prostate cancer, both of my maternal grandmother and grandfather passed away from lung and throat cancer respectively. I lost my brave German Shepherd to cancer too.
I know someone right now who is battling with colon cancer, and he's not far apart in age from Chadwick. I keep him in my thoughts and prayers, and have tried to brighten up his environment with presents and plants. I'm really worried though. What can you say to someone in a situation like that when they're fighting for their own survival? I feel nervous trying to even talk on the phone, because I have never been in his shoes. I want to be positive and encouraging, but at the same time I don't think it would be helpful if I come across as blind to everything he is going through. I am apprehensive about speaking about what's happening though because even though he's outwardly been strong and optimistic to those who see him, I know he must be scared. I don't want to do or say anything to make him more afraid. He's undergone surgery remove his tumor, and is taking chemotherapy right now :(
I know someone right now who is battling with colon cancer, and he's not far apart in age from Chadwick. I keep him in my thoughts and prayers, and have tried to brighten up his environment with presents and plants. I'm really worried though. What can you say to someone in a situation like that when they're fighting for their own survival? I feel nervous trying to even talk on the phone, because I have never been in his shoes. I want to be positive and encouraging, but at the same time I don't think it would be helpful if I come across as blind to everything he is going through. I am apprehensive about speaking about what's happening though because even though he's outwardly been strong and optimistic to those who see him, I know he must be scared. I don't want to do or say anything to make him more afraid. He's undergone surgery remove his tumor, and is taking chemotherapy right now :(
DragonKing48
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I would just say remind them to keep the faith no matter what. Simple and deep answer at the same time.
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Been having flashbacks of being smacked around in domestic violence situations that I had blocked out of my mind for many years.
I take my Zoloft every day, but I'm going to commit to doing more to combat the bouts of depression, anxiety, low self-esteem and nightmares.
*I will stop skipping meals, that can't be good for my brain. Not just grazing about the day when I feel like it, but eat full course breakfast, lunch and dinners to make sure I am getting all of my vitamins. Will also make a point of reaching for the nuts and fruits in particular to start my day because of the omega 3 fatty acids that may reduce depression like walnuts. Cook with vitamin d-rich food later in the day like spinach. May be good to start incorporating saffron again.
*Deep breathing exercising, and get back into reading spiritual literature that will help me to find my inner balance
*Try listening to soothing music before going to bed to relax my state of mind
*Clean-up the house and beautify all of the spaces around me to the best of my ability. Take care of my surroundings, they do make a difference and have an impact on you. It's also a task to keep me focused, so my thoughts don't wander into the doldrums, and the decorating is a way to express myself creatively. Incorporate nice smells, colors, candles, flowers, wall hangings.
*Though the weather has been bad, take advantage of every single day that there is sunlight and do outdoor activities, especially since the days will be getting shorter soon. The sunlight positively can affect your mood and sleep, and brain function.
*Do for others, love, cherish and enjoy the people around me who have a positive influences on my life, from best friend to pets. Donate to those less fortunate out there, I will feel better by striving towards a larger goal like housing the homeless, feeding the hungry, educating kids, adopting animals and environmental conservation.
*turnoff the news. It's easy to become depressed by world events.
I take my Zoloft every day, but I'm going to commit to doing more to combat the bouts of depression, anxiety, low self-esteem and nightmares.
*I will stop skipping meals, that can't be good for my brain. Not just grazing about the day when I feel like it, but eat full course breakfast, lunch and dinners to make sure I am getting all of my vitamins. Will also make a point of reaching for the nuts and fruits in particular to start my day because of the omega 3 fatty acids that may reduce depression like walnuts. Cook with vitamin d-rich food later in the day like spinach. May be good to start incorporating saffron again.
*Deep breathing exercising, and get back into reading spiritual literature that will help me to find my inner balance
*Try listening to soothing music before going to bed to relax my state of mind
*Clean-up the house and beautify all of the spaces around me to the best of my ability. Take care of my surroundings, they do make a difference and have an impact on you. It's also a task to keep me focused, so my thoughts don't wander into the doldrums, and the decorating is a way to express myself creatively. Incorporate nice smells, colors, candles, flowers, wall hangings.
*Though the weather has been bad, take advantage of every single day that there is sunlight and do outdoor activities, especially since the days will be getting shorter soon. The sunlight positively can affect your mood and sleep, and brain function.
*Do for others, love, cherish and enjoy the people around me who have a positive influences on my life, from best friend to pets. Donate to those less fortunate out there, I will feel better by striving towards a larger goal like housing the homeless, feeding the hungry, educating kids, adopting animals and environmental conservation.
*turnoff the news. It's easy to become depressed by world events.
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Sam, you're absolutely incredible and I hope that things will pick up for you soon. Death is always such a sensitive and painful topic, but it seems like 2020 especially is a hard year in regards to all of this. It really hurts. Please don't skip meals, knowing that honestly worries me because I really do care and want the best for you and anyone else reading this <3 While I obviously can't know exactly how everyone feels, as someone who suffers from anxiety and stresses over things very, very easily, I can still do my best to understand to an extent. Living can be so hard.
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Agreed with Sheep. Being positive in general is hard enough but I have even more respect for those of you who maintain such an upbeat and cheery demeanor despite all the hardships you've been through. That's true strength.
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I can't begin to imagine what you're going through.... x_x nothing I can say will help much, but I'll be thinking of you throughout this whole mess. :( <3
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Sooooo glad things are getting better. :D
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So disgusted with myself.
I used to always try and talk to/go after this person just because she blocked me once. I realized after that it was wrong and immature but now that I have people that won't leave me alone I know how she felt, it's karma I'm sure. There is worse to come because I've been such a piece of shit. I'm doing better now but just thinking about it makes me so sick.
I used to always try and talk to/go after this person just because she blocked me once. I realized after that it was wrong and immature but now that I have people that won't leave me alone I know how she felt, it's karma I'm sure. There is worse to come because I've been such a piece of shit. I'm doing better now but just thinking about it makes me so sick.
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this <33
SuperSonicChao
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Been going through a bit of a rough patch but also ironically the best part of my life internally for the last 10+ years. Suicidality had been bad more than half my life but reached its worst near the last 10 years of my life- its peak being 2019 when I was experiencing grief from a childhood friend passing. But since some inner realizations I've been in a bit of a sublime state. Although externally I haven't done much this year, I feel internally I've tackled a lot of childhood trauma. I had a thought of looking at all the different parts of my inner self as different people (like Inside Out) where different traumatic experiences caused a new emotion to move in. I like gave more power to my negotiative/Libra/problem-solving side of me to resolve issues between different parts of me, I feel like I didn't persay take down the bit of Narcissistic, Self-Harming and Self-Hating aspects of my personality but learned to accept them and figure out where they come from and give more voice to other parts of myself that were hurting because they've been bullying other parts of me. Idk if I can really explain it, maybe it's a bit of "Shadow Work." But it was really helpful, and combined with childhood memories spawning from the grief I think it gave me a 2nd sort of chance to have other memories spawning from that time and have a chance to actually tackle them. I'm not sure really.
There's been a lot of hope lately, despite my external situation being unlucky. My housing situation was unsafe enough to lead me towards being temporarily homeless atm. Luckily no one got physically hurt this year; but it was beginning to escalate to a place with weapons becoming involved and I really just gave up and left. It's been hitting me a bit emotionally making me feel I'm not really fit for society really, or really strong enough to protect my own home from gaslighting and manipulation.
Am safe right now with friends living in their home and I'm fortunate enough to not be sleeping in my car.
I'm not sure what really lies in the future for me though. Money is rough, employment is rough and a whole list of other things are seriously rough- I'm about to drive cross country from West Coast to East Coast US to try to see my folks, help take care of my dad and maybe get some therapy lol.
I'm not per-say optimistic about the future but I'm not pessimistic neither though.
Also, went to the dentist for the first time in over 13 years. Yey for dental health!!!
~~ If you ever needs an ear to talk to, I have a lot more spoons than usual lately and a lot more time tbh. Feel free to hit me up in DM if you need catharsis or to just be heard in the void if you feel it'd be helpful.
There's been a lot of hope lately, despite my external situation being unlucky. My housing situation was unsafe enough to lead me towards being temporarily homeless atm. Luckily no one got physically hurt this year; but it was beginning to escalate to a place with weapons becoming involved and I really just gave up and left. It's been hitting me a bit emotionally making me feel I'm not really fit for society really, or really strong enough to protect my own home from gaslighting and manipulation.
Am safe right now with friends living in their home and I'm fortunate enough to not be sleeping in my car.
I'm not sure what really lies in the future for me though. Money is rough, employment is rough and a whole list of other things are seriously rough- I'm about to drive cross country from West Coast to East Coast US to try to see my folks, help take care of my dad and maybe get some therapy lol.
I'm not per-say optimistic about the future but I'm not pessimistic neither though.
Also, went to the dentist for the first time in over 13 years. Yey for dental health!!!
~~ If you ever needs an ear to talk to, I have a lot more spoons than usual lately and a lot more time tbh. Feel free to hit me up in DM if you need catharsis or to just be heard in the void if you feel it'd be helpful.
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starseed galaxy auticorn
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I've been having some ups and downs lately. I'm also moving back to Maine with my parents, and I'm hoping my doc will give me something a little better for anxiety. ;w; It's going to add a lot of stress to me since it's going to be a major change in my environment and such, you know? I am pretty excited about going back. I can't wait to see my cousin/best friend. I plan on surprising him~ ;)
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I'll join. Only took me a couple months.
While I can't name any particulars (never successfully got hold of a psychologist) I can at the least describe the symptoms. Imagine being this completely shit in, emotionally underdeveloped, apathetic and purposeless human being whose only connection to other people is seeing how they live their life, are happy are sad, but ultimately enjoy their life in the capacity they can. Seeing that they have something to live for while you're still asking yourself even after all those years what even is the point of even living (for yourself).
My life has always been this way: being a shut in makes you prone of getting bullied in school which I was quite a lot. I never had real friends and I never felt any deep connection to anyone. If I was hanging out with other people and they were to tell me to stop hanging out with them I'd just do it. In general I've always just done what others told. It was kind of a necessity. We had enough money to get by, most of the time, and my parents really tried to give us what we wanted as long as the situation allowed it. Now, my family is no stranger to cancer and auto immune sicknesses. We lost a couple family members through cancer and my father suffered from morbus cron. His sickness in particular not only made him unable to work but also he later needed a lot of help. So my mother was quite busy. My father died in 2011 when he went to a hospital to undergo surgery in that regard. However due to complication he fell into a coma and my mother had to make the decision to stop the machines that kept him alive. I didn't feel anything when he was dead.
When I said I never had any connection with anybody that is actually not completely true. There was this girl I was close friends with for a short while. It was the lighthearted kinda way and I actually felt kinda good for a while. When you're stuck in your own mind for so many years then it really hits you. However it was not meant to last. I said it before: I'm emotionally underdeveloped. Thing is, she was in love with another guy (mutually of course), and I also happened to fall in love with her. I did a bunch of red flag stuff and the friendship crumbled to dust. So the best feeling in my life quickly turned into the worst in my life and it was only getting worse.
I dropped university, took the first best job (factory worker of the lowest kind), had multiple mental breakdowns, then spend another couple years in complete isolation. The few people outside the family who still remembered me I cut off. I wanted to find a purpose, hoping that that would make me feel lake belonging. I tried it by reading a bunch of philosophy. Turns out: philosophy can not give you purpose, it can only give you options as to how to pursue the purpose you want to pursue. So problem not solved.
At some point I got dragged back into work life. Went to trade school, now I work. Have my own apartment, the things people expect. But I'm still as empty as ever.
Back when I was 20 I told myself that if I turned 30 I might as well die. A while ago when I turned 30 I just thought to myself "yeah, I wouldn't mind dying". I've had multiple episodes in my life when the urge welled up to throw myself in front of the next best car. They always went by and at some point I just gave up trying. I'm a very cynic person and very much a misantrop. But I also know just too well that any hatred one feels is just mirroring the thoughts you have about yourself onto others. Not the others are the problem, I am.
While most people are afraid to become victims to somebody's crime, I'm someone who is very aware that there's something inside there that is just too eager to do something stupid. This "becoming a perpetrator" is something that I'm fighting with all my might everyday. It may also play part in my wish for my own demise.
When I wake up I get to work, then I work, then I get back home, then I wait until it's late. Hopefully I can sleep alright and when I wake up everything starts over.
Ironically: at the beginning of this year I was thinking to myself "maybe this year I could try meeting new people". I don't know if that would have worked out, but I also don't need to think about it now, anyway. Thanks to the pandemic. <_<
While I can't name any particulars (never successfully got hold of a psychologist) I can at the least describe the symptoms. Imagine being this completely shit in, emotionally underdeveloped, apathetic and purposeless human being whose only connection to other people is seeing how they live their life, are happy are sad, but ultimately enjoy their life in the capacity they can. Seeing that they have something to live for while you're still asking yourself even after all those years what even is the point of even living (for yourself).
My life has always been this way: being a shut in makes you prone of getting bullied in school which I was quite a lot. I never had real friends and I never felt any deep connection to anyone. If I was hanging out with other people and they were to tell me to stop hanging out with them I'd just do it. In general I've always just done what others told. It was kind of a necessity. We had enough money to get by, most of the time, and my parents really tried to give us what we wanted as long as the situation allowed it. Now, my family is no stranger to cancer and auto immune sicknesses. We lost a couple family members through cancer and my father suffered from morbus cron. His sickness in particular not only made him unable to work but also he later needed a lot of help. So my mother was quite busy. My father died in 2011 when he went to a hospital to undergo surgery in that regard. However due to complication he fell into a coma and my mother had to make the decision to stop the machines that kept him alive. I didn't feel anything when he was dead.
When I said I never had any connection with anybody that is actually not completely true. There was this girl I was close friends with for a short while. It was the lighthearted kinda way and I actually felt kinda good for a while. When you're stuck in your own mind for so many years then it really hits you. However it was not meant to last. I said it before: I'm emotionally underdeveloped. Thing is, she was in love with another guy (mutually of course), and I also happened to fall in love with her. I did a bunch of red flag stuff and the friendship crumbled to dust. So the best feeling in my life quickly turned into the worst in my life and it was only getting worse.
I dropped university, took the first best job (factory worker of the lowest kind), had multiple mental breakdowns, then spend another couple years in complete isolation. The few people outside the family who still remembered me I cut off. I wanted to find a purpose, hoping that that would make me feel lake belonging. I tried it by reading a bunch of philosophy. Turns out: philosophy can not give you purpose, it can only give you options as to how to pursue the purpose you want to pursue. So problem not solved.
At some point I got dragged back into work life. Went to trade school, now I work. Have my own apartment, the things people expect. But I'm still as empty as ever.
Back when I was 20 I told myself that if I turned 30 I might as well die. A while ago when I turned 30 I just thought to myself "yeah, I wouldn't mind dying". I've had multiple episodes in my life when the urge welled up to throw myself in front of the next best car. They always went by and at some point I just gave up trying. I'm a very cynic person and very much a misantrop. But I also know just too well that any hatred one feels is just mirroring the thoughts you have about yourself onto others. Not the others are the problem, I am.
While most people are afraid to become victims to somebody's crime, I'm someone who is very aware that there's something inside there that is just too eager to do something stupid. This "becoming a perpetrator" is something that I'm fighting with all my might everyday. It may also play part in my wish for my own demise.
When I wake up I get to work, then I work, then I get back home, then I wait until it's late. Hopefully I can sleep alright and when I wake up everything starts over.
Ironically: at the beginning of this year I was thinking to myself "maybe this year I could try meeting new people". I don't know if that would have worked out, but I also don't need to think about it now, anyway. Thanks to the pandemic. <_<
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Welcome to the club, Seliph!
I completely relate to your feelings of apathy. When I was using that was the worst (and if I'm being completely honest, the best) part besides the high. Being able to tap out of feelings was a real blessing during that time, but it really left me so emotionally inarticulate and it's been a hurdle to overcome. Same for spending so much time inside of one's head.
Have you considered seeking professional help? Would you consider it?
I completely relate to your feelings of apathy. When I was using that was the worst (and if I'm being completely honest, the best) part besides the high. Being able to tap out of feelings was a real blessing during that time, but it really left me so emotionally inarticulate and it's been a hurdle to overcome. Same for spending so much time inside of one's head.
Have you considered seeking professional help? Would you consider it?