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How would you describe your mental health? Please be considerate when posting in here, thank you. (And if this is a thread that's already active atm, I apologize.)
Not particularly wonderful. I'm pretty much constantly battling depression and anxiety, but I can't go on medication because I react badly to it and it makes both worse and exacerbates my physical illness also. So I'm basically a time bomb of pent up stress and frustration.
I'm managing it alright all things considered though. I've got a sense of humour about it anyway.
I've been in worse places, but all that means is that I am not presently contemplating suicide, it doesn't mean things are any better in any tangible sense. That's about all I would say...and really, people generally don't want to know much more than that, and I'm not entirely sure how I would tell them without going into uncomfortable amounts of detail.
Horrible. It feels like I am fighting a winless battle of depression and anxiety, and my self-esteem is extremely poor as well. Albeit it has been better in the past few years, it still isn't that great.
It depends really, some days I'm ok and other days it's really bad.
My anti anxiety meds stopped working though so hopefully when I get new ones it'll help a lot!
it's...okay. it was absolutely awful back when i was in 8th grade, and in the summer before 8th and the summer following 9th grade. it was..pretty bad all throughout high school too, but i had more of a handle on it then because i was actively working with my social worker and had a therapist, a social worker intern and a psychiatrist. i was also on medication for my depression. i took lexapro.
after i graduated high school though, i've sort of been..slipping off the edge, or being close to it at least. i can feel myself sorta...falling through the old cracks of my depression and i can feel it..creeping up on me again. i'm not..actively suicidal, i wouldn't do anything to..purposely kill myself. i will admit i do have thoughts about it, more often now than when i was in high school. but i wouldn't actively do anything i don't think.
eh. i guess the gist of this post is, my mental health is... probably, now looking back and reading that, not okay. but i'll get through it somehow. i always do.
Things are good for me. Sometimes I get mild bouts of anxiety because I'm prone to stress and overthink things, but generally things are going very well and my mood has really improved. Working full time has really helped combat any issues I had with myself before and as tired as I am each waking day, I would never want to go back to being home all day like a few years ago. That seriously destroys your mental health.
I'm doing pretty good right now. I've had some setbacks that I think a couple of years ago would've made me fall apart. I think I'm pretty well adjusted right now though. I haven't been depressed in a long time.
Was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder since 2012-2013? A month ago I was told that I may have either borderline personality disorder or bipolar disorder...because of how aggressive I get towards certain situations.
...which explains about the medication I had taken in the past that threw me in a suicidal position back then.
Last year when I hit a financial downfall and was forced to move to Galveston, depression hit me hard and I was really not myself, even with the support I was getting from my boyfriend and his family.
So, I am still looking into seeing a doctor to see if I still have GAD, or something more. I just feel bad that people have to see me this way.
Yesterday was the 7 year anniversary of my suicide attempt. I try not to look at it in a negative way or regretful. It really changed a lot for me. Found out I was fairly bipolar (so bad, I was hallucinating), and I don't really remember a 4-5 month period of my life because I was falsifying memories.
Nevertheless, things still crop up, but I've gotten through the thick of it. I try to stay positive about it, and I found the right combo of meds pretty early.
And to all of you that are having a rough time, know that there's support for you out there. It might take a bit to find it, but there's always someone that wants to help. Professional or even just friends is really great. If you need someone to talk to, I can be there, too. But a mostly-stranger on the internet is probably not your best resource. I believe you'll come through it. Good luck.
I'm ok. My anxiety has for about a decade now manifested itself mostly physically (strangely enough), through panic attacks. But I've learned to handle them.
I'm kind of okay. Through high school I learned I have really bad anxiety, and for the longest time I had aggression issues as well due to circumstances. After following therapy for the latter and some years (and feelings) passing, it seems to have died down. Only rarely it comes back. My anxiety is kind of permanent thing I guess, but that has also been getting better these past two years, mainly because I found ways to cope with it: tricks to avoid getting anxious, learning how to say things in a certain way... I was and still am very anxious over the idea of accidentally stepping on someone's toes and them raging at me (which has happened enough times to have a conditioning effect on me), and very, very slowly I learned that some things are acceptable to say as much as I think they aren't. Speaking formally is a trick to avoid this anxiety, but I've learned how to say things in a good way even in informal situations. Of course, talking to other people is not the only thing that causes anxiety, because if anxiety made sense I wouldn't have it anymore!
Anxiety aside, I was in a bad place until last December. I am prone to loneliness and that really kicked in last year when a good friend of mine ditched me for no good reason (my feelings about that fluctuating from sadness to sheer anger) and I basically had no one else to turn to. Sometimes I feel myself slipping back into that spiral, but I'm trying to engage in leisure activities with my study association as much as possible to avoid that. I've made one or two more friends since this January so I'm already at a bad place than this time last year, when things really got bad. So, agression + anxiety + loneliness. There's no magical fix but I'm fine now, I really am.
EDIT: when I was 11 I was suffering from heavy anxiety and was apparently advised to go for treatment at a certain location. I didn't go there because of traveling issues but I wonder how much less trouble I would've had if I was diagnosed with social anxiety or something very early on, instead of having to explain my (non-Western) parents endlessly that I often experience unreasonable fear and not being understood.
pretty much perfect lately! it's been a year since i stopped considering myself depressed and i haven't had those kind of thoughts in years. now and again i have the occasional bad day or blip, but they're only very minor and don't last for very long. most of the things that made me depressed have either disappeared or i've found ways to cope with them, so generally i'm getting through life at a decent pace right now. naturally my social anxiety isn't going anywhere, but i wouldn't consider it a massive hindrance to my mental health as i've generally learnt to cope with it and keep it under control! all in all pretty good. wish i could say the same for my best friend : - (
Pretty bad... though it varies depending on the situation. :| I've noticed that after graduating high school, my anxiety has worsened. To be honest, I have to take an anti-psychotic to calm down the worst of it. >< I mean, it used to be so bad that I wanted to die. My anxiety overloaded me so much that it was causing me to become depressed as well. x___x
I still get random bouts of anxiety, but I've learned different techniques to conquer it. One of the things that help the most is music. Music has been a huge accomplishment in helping me overcome it. I wouldn't even be here if not for that. I know many people may not believe in the whole "music saves lives" thing, but I do.
mine is definitely not fabulous! i've suffered from an eating disorder for a year now, i began to seek help in summer and was diagnosed with anorexia & body dysmorphia disorder however my recovery attempt only lead me developing worse behaviours. and due to my age (17 at the time), after my birthday i was pretty much dropped by the services i was using as i no longer qualified for child services at 18, even though i was and am now just over the low-line of a healthy weight for my height. i still hate it, since no effort was put into fixing my relationship with food and body image. i think what i suffer with now qualifies more accurately for EDNOS or just flat-out bulimia, but i'm not intending on seeking help for anything relating to eating for a while after this experience. that doesn't mean to say that my quality of life isn't suffering - it's horrendous and all because of food, of all things - but i'm not ready for it again. plus i think it's probably damaged my body and internal organs more than when i was at a low weight.
aside from that, i'm finally seeking out help to see a psychiatrist and a full diagnosis + help/medication for borderline personality disorder which spans probably a few years back - but professionals refuse to diagnose it to those under 18 in case it's just 'teenage hormones' which i've known for a very long while are not the cause for how i feel.
i did have extreme social anxiety for a couple of years though which i received brief yet unhelpful treatment for - i guess i eventually overcame it myself? i got to a point where i couldn't stand the loneliness and isolation and truly didn't feel happy to be on my own so i just conquered my fears head on. i guess my boyfriend at the time, summer and alcohol helped me along a lot but it was well worth fighting through.
i am very on and off and it isn't helpful when the mods accuse me of trolling and being bad when in reality i am just trying to have some light banter to stop me wanting to kill myself
My mental health is a mess, sadly. Due to my mood swings being kinda... rapid? But I'm trying my best to live my life the best I can. I do have pretty good day sometimes where my mood stays pretty stable! But, some days of the week, I'm a revolving door. Mood disorders kinda do that to you. =/
...But compared to when I was going through puberty, I'm not as bad as I was. Today's an okay mental health day.
Pretty scarred, depressing, and scary since... I can remember. To not force everyone part of my background, I've enclosed it in a spoiler tag.
Spoiler:
Being raised by my female birth-giver and a half-sister until the age of 18, who both only see men as a means to get money or services, being forced to avoid eye contact with people, and punished for no particular reason other than giving them pleasure in seeing me hurt, I can say for myself that I can't even remember a time when I really felt alive.
I always was jealous towards children, hearing how their mothers would tuck them into bed, say "I love you", and treat them like their children. Until the age of 7 did I not even know that the woman raising me was related to me in any way. The entire time I called her Marianne because I didn't even know the concept of a mother, that I was given birth to, or what that even is. She refused to teach me anything, while spoiling my sister with gifts and love, while I was forced to watch. Marianne would take my toys and give them to my sister, only to see me cry while she would smile about it.
Because of the continuous punishments and not being allowed to relief the stress that has been causing me headaches and insomnia on a daily basis, I've developed a second personality in my head that got more and more scary over time. Before I was a teen I would see images of decapitation, bloodshed, and physical pain being induced to others like my classmates or teachers against my will. I hated those thoughts, but the more I just took in the mistreatment and was too afraid to fight back or say anything, the more I felt the anger and hatred grow inside of me.
I thought that leaving Germany at the age of 18 would finally get rid of all my troubles, to finally live with my father who was also driven out of our home because of the way my mother was taking everything away from him and not allowing him to see or talk to me, but she refused to stop and continued calling me and my dad's phone just to tell me what an eternal failure I am and that I'll be a bum living under the bridge in the future if I weren't to come back to Germany.
She only wanted me back there to receive more money from the government and force my father to send her more too. I never saw that money when growing up, nor did I even know about it. That whole time, from childhood to being a teen, I had to wear the clothes on my body until I outgrew it, few years at a time on a daily basis, while not being allowed to wash myself for weeks at a time while my sister could twice a day. I was kept dumb and naive, obedient and afraid of people, so that I would never talk to other people and tell them the way she was treating me. Even if I would have, people would have not believed me, because she's good... She and her daughter have a skill to fool people. They can smile and be considered saints among people, while revealing their true side when no one was looking. That's how they fooled people into getting what they wanted. My sister did it so well that she had a new boyfriend every day, dumping those that she leeched the money out of.
I was underfed, mistreated, emotionally tormented, and have been dealing with dark thoughts that aren't mine. What scares me is when these thoughts try to take over.
I was sitting in an interview, talking to a really nice lady, and then suddenly had to struggle not to jump out of my seat and choke her. I had to tense up my muscles to prevent it from happening. It happens occasionally too, like when I see a window or my computer screen that I want to destroy it for no reason. Fortunately for me, all of that holding back of my emotions and being quite obedient lead me to be pretty good in fighting back these twisted thoughts that aren't mine.
I've never punched someone out of anger or broke anything that wasn't mine. Though I did once get so mad that I folded my keyboard in half or punched a tree so long until there was blood running down my fist.
I've read everyone's replies here and want to say that I feel great sympathy for those who have been dealing with depression, anger, isolation, and the abundance of other negativities that plague your lives.
I have never taken any medications for anything I have or have seen any therapist, because my family doesn't realize that all these things have been going on with me. I'm okay with telling these things to people who also had it bad in their lives or even worse just to show that I understand what you are going through and that you're not alone. So yes, I worked around people many times, even in a filthy factory and my dad thought me joining the military would be a good idea to get me to open up more. Fortunately, I received a medical discharge after basic training for having weak hips, because of how much my body lacked in nutrition to deal with such a physical ordeal. I say fortunately, because I absolutely hated the spoiled young adults that would act more juvenile than anything I've seen. I still work though, so no freebie just because I have mental issues. Though to be honest... I really would prefer to just work online so that I wouldn't have to be around people in real life... I can deal with people online much better than with people that could try hurting me, or that I could hurt.
We all have to cope with it somehow... Some are fortunate to not have experienced these things, while others just aren't that fortunate.
The way I deal with my anger, depression, thoughts, anxiety, is to force myself to stay distracted, or to try proofing the thing that called itself my mother that I am not a failure, by trying out new things and trying to differ from the majority of people. I don't like following a crowd or lying period, because that's what they did. The more I can distance myself from them, the better.
To be honest, I have a hard time trying to find a purpose to my existence... I mean, why do I bother doing sprites or write long replies when those things could be considered meaningless time-wasters? I don't know... I guess it keeps me distracted from my thoughts and from remembering. If there is any way that I can find purpose in what I'm doing, or any way to make use of it, I feel quite joyful.
Anyways, the reason I mentioned all that is because I'm fairly new here and I got pretty much nothing to lose if you all decided to see me as a freak or a waste of time. All I'd do is just be by myself again and try finding new things or hobbies to distract myself with, or to find ways to write down even more information about characters, turn 20 pages to maybe 50 pages per OC and Fakémon I create.
I stayed away from forums and chatrooms because I'm afraid to get hurt even more, or to hurt someone accidentally. But my friend kept telling me that I must fight those fears and feelings and just go for it.
Sorry for the long reply. I just wanted to get some of it out of my system, and be brave enough to share this information here, even if it will make some of you see me in a different way, or heck, banned. Even if I did get banned for being honest, at least I hope this message helped someone to see that they're not alone or maybe even get encouraged, who knows. I'm glad that after so many years that I learned how to speak up, and if I can, so can you... well, with the exception of being afraid to alienate users who have known you for a long time, then there's another thing to worry about.
Thanks for reading, and please don't give up on life or at least find a way to keep on living.
M.E.R.255
