seattles
contemplating.
- 19
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- Seen Feb 8, 2018
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< KOZUME HIROKI >
arcana: STAR / age: 17 / year: 2
> DAYTIME <
The cherry blossom trees are beautiful. His gold eyes gazed at the pink petals as they flow to the ground, flying high fleetingly before they land where the wind takes them. The next term is going to start soon, he's an second year now. Surprisingly. Soon, high school will start again. Soon, he'd flounder in his grades, left behind by those who scored higher than C's. Then what else? Socialize; one of his only strengths. But of course, she was just as good as he is. Even better (or worse): She is always surrounded by people, her aura, her smile, they will flock to her because she's a
He has to try again. (And again, and again.) Maybe this time, fate will turn around. His efforts will reward him, in the end because isn't that what the saying goes? 'Work hard and be rewarded'. (And again, he'll fail. And again, she'll succeed.)
How many times has he been telling himself it'll be fine? There's still hope, a desperate part of him keeps saying. She'd support him, much like the other times. With a beautiful, warming smile, she'll say comforting, encouraging words to him and he'd feel bolstered and pumped up until reality shattered his views.
(Vaguely, he recalls a weird dream but he can't seem to remember everything else. A woman appeared her eyes brighter than his and more eerie. The woman asks something, he said something back. There were people too, far away and out of reach.
It all blurred out.
It was a bizarre dream.)
"Oh hey, it's Hiroki!" A male voice exclaims, dragging him away from his cloudy thoughts. An arm slips around his shoulders as he snaps out of his spunk, blinking at the persona space invader.
"Eh? Shouichi!"
It's his classmate from another class, a boy who became his friend since months ago. The guy was more insistent than him, calling him by his first name and telling to do the same.
"Hi, what's up? You look like you're in deep thought," Shouichi says, eyeing him. "You alright?"
Hiroki blinked again then laughed, shaking his head. "Nah," he denied. "The cherry blossoms hypnotized me so that's why I was deep in thought." Hiroki explained, he did not want to confess he's been thinking of positive thoughts to combat the looming negativity.
Shouichi may be his friend; he is not a best friend nor is he someone he's close to. How can he spill his worries when he can't even do that to his family? To her?
"Thought so, you weren't acting like yourself back then," Shouichi says, patting the dark-haired teen's back once he removed his arm. "I was worried for a second you were lost! You're always so cheerful it's hard seeing you looking like that, even with your grades it doesn't stop you from smiling a lot."
A part of him – a deep, deep part – wants to say he's an idiot. Being cheerful, acting cheerful, does that mean he has no concerns, that he's taking life so carelessly? Hiroki knows his friend doesn't mean anything by it. It's just a silly voice trying to push him down.
"No way!" He remarks, smiling to make a point. "I'd never stop being myself! I'll stay happy like this forever!" Even though I want to, I want to so bad. "It's not healthy being sad all the time." It's not healthy being happy all the time either.
Shouichi grinned, "Good! We need your daily dose of energy or Rakkoken High will fall into darkness!"
"Like that will happen!" Hiroki laughed.
In the short distance, someone calls for Shouichi. "Oh right, forgot I'm with my other friends," he says, looking back to where the caller is then faced Hiroki. "I have to go, see you later!" With a jovial pat on the back, he dashes away, leaving the gold eyed male with a hasty goodbye.
"See you," Hiroki whispers in the wind.
With a last glance at the cherry blossom trees, he walked away and left his dark thoughts behind. It'd be okay, there still hope.
> NIGHT TIME <
"Are you excited, Hiroki?" Hitomi questions, her lips forming her usual gentle smile. "New semester is starting today; you'll be in second year!" she gushes as if it's great news. "I'm sure you'll enjoy your second year, soon you'll be in third year. You're growing up." She looks sad, like she can't bear the thought of him growing up.
"Don't worry, big sis," Hiroki reassured, grinning brightly at her to ease her worries. Already she's acting like his mother. (But that's how she's usually is when it comes to him.) "I'm a big boy, I can take care of myself. You should go back to sleep, you'll need to wake up early," he says then feigns a yawn. "I'm pretty tired myself so I'll be in my room sleeping. G'night." With that, he escapes to prolong the conversation that will, without a doubt, turn to his grades and lack of effort.
(It's not the lack of effort. He's trying so hard.)
He flopped into his bed, face hitting the pillow. He stayed there until he fell asleep. Tomorrow, it'll be like nothing happened. He'd still be the same happy kid, and he'd lie to himself and keep on saying it'll be fine as the new term loomed closer and closer.
But then he dreams of something else. Eyelids fluttering open, he blinked and looked around. Where am I? He's in a large room, an odd room and what's even odder is there are people with him. He's not alone. Some of them looks to be familiar, but where has he seen them…?
Oh. Right. At school, of course!
An woman appears, dressed in a cute maid outfit. Her eerie eyes had him remembering the dream before. The bizarre dream he faintly recalls. "Eh? Is this a play? Are we playing roles?" Hiroki asks, being half-serious, half-fooling. "It feels like we're in a supernatural show. Cool!" The dark violate-haired teenager says cheerfully and lightly.
In all honesty, he's nervous and unnerved at the mood swirling around the big mansion-like room. What are the doors for? Exits? Do they lead to different hallways? Is this another dream? It sure looks like it, otherwise this is real as it gets and isn't disturbing if it's real? How easy they took them away from their homes and dumped them here without managing to disturb them?
What's going on? Why is he here too?