The Bully Within

[Entermaid]

Have you ever bullied someone?​

Though we may all be inclined to despise displays of bullying, many of us have probably name-called, pranked with ill intent, ignored/not included among other, or worse things to other people.
Though, we often don't catch ourselves doing this, or at least we rationalize why our behavior is in the 'right'.

So, think hard. Have you really only been the receiving end of bullying, or have you actually engaged in this behavior yourself?

 

[Nolafus]

I was that one kid that was everyone's punching bag, so I didn't feel comfortable bullying anyone. Especially after the way it made me feel. However, one person I did take it out on was my older brother. I called him lots of names, but never went anything past that. I do feel a little bad as I'm typing this out, but he tortured me as a little kid, so there's the justification my mind settled on.

 

[Sirfetch’d]

I never have and I never would bully anyone because I have been on the receiving end of it before and it isn't fun in the slightest. Now if I see any bullying, I do anything that I can to not only stop it, but prevent it from happening in the future as well.

 

[Aeroblast]

During 4th grade I used to tease someone with a group of friends, though we didn't really meant to bully him it just got out of hand and eventually we started pushing him around and stuff. One day we were caught by a teacher while intimidating him and got punished. Later we went to him, apologized, and made friends with him, and I specifically got closer to him as a "bro" as well. During the short time I got to know him I found out we had lots of things in common. Shame that I had to leave Korea during the beginning week of 5th grade.

 

[xseed]

never been bullied but me myself has been bullied since I was little. and even though I am 19 atm I still get bullied especially my younger siblings. I have learned to ignore people but I still lose control sigh. :(. and then their are the few dorks at my school who bully me and call me gay because I wear my hair long. sigh.

 

[Kanzler]

I've bullied people before. Now that I look back, it definitely was bullying. It becomes easier when other people do it, it fades into the background and becomes part of the fabric of that community. It becomes normal to bully that victim, and treating him like any other person becomes abnormal. Everybody got over it in high school though, and it wasn't physical. Maybe there was a fight or two, but it certainly wasn't a habit.

I don't think I've been bullied though. I've been excluded and teased, but that's often how a community deals with an outsider - it's like an initiation in some ways, an awkward dance of joking and teasing each other until you enter the fold or don't. To me, bullying occurs in a social context. I've been treated badly chronically by someone, but it was a one on one thing.

 

[atomtanned]

It's been so long ago for me so it's hard for me really to remember, but I'm sure that I was mean to kids in middle school. I don't remember being openly mean, but I know we made fun of certain kids behind their backs, and I never stood up for them which is just as bad, I think.

I was also teased & bullied myself (earlier on in elementary school) and I think that's part of why I didn't say anything? Because I was relieved not to be a target. How awful is that? I do try to keep that in mind though when I encounter nasty people even today in my 20s... most of the time it comes from insecurity, I think. Not that it makes it okay, but it does seem a little bit easier to deal with when I think of it that way.

 

[Entermaid]

I am of the opinion, from my many observations that at one time or another we have all bullied and have been bullied, though we might distinguish who is a bully by the frequency and magnitude of these incidences, the action itself remains constant.

There are so many behaviors we don't even consider bullying when we carry them out. And really, this is about a the ambiguity of the word 'bullying' itself. I just find it improbable that anyone who is of average cognitive ability has never teased someone else to their faces or behind their backs, or has said something spiteful and personal to someone that cut them down.

We really should own up to these faults if we want to improve ourselves. If not, we can sweep it under the rug. *shrugs* I don't know. Call me a cynic I just call BS on the assertion that there are many people who have not bullied, if any, under the criteria of average cognition. Which is paradoxical. Fewer people to claim incidents of bullying others than there are bullying behaviors.

 

[Rezilia]

Bullied? No. Verbal abuse? All the time. My mother and I were always alone so we...used each other to vent our anger. It was wrong but we got used to it. That's why I was so glad when she left for the UAE. That way, we won't fight...as much.

 

[Green Stache]

I'm sure everyone has bullied someone at least once in there life.. Even if not-intentionally. I used to think it never really happened much in my year cause I used to be in the 'popular' group and never noticed it and I even bullied a little bit myself (Never intentionally, I just sometimes said some things that people took to heart) and now that I look back, wish I didn't say. I try my best not to do it now and now my eyes have opened and can see it happening, and try to stop it when I can. I wasn't really bullied that much since I got along with nearly everyone well and try to be nice, but also cause I can stand up for myself and don't get intimidated easily.

 

[pokemasta92]

I have never really been bullied, but have heard random comments here and there from some real jerks. I'm sorry to anyone who believes this, but the advice that if you don't let it get to you and just ignore it, the bully will get bored is generally false. If someone is a true bully they don't care how you feel, as long as they personally feel like they've bullied you. A lot of bullies get satisfaction from other people laughing at their verbal abuse, so it makes no difference whether you ignore them or not. As for me, I've never been a bully, but I have made some funny comments over the years, but the same people I've made them about I usually ended up being friends with. I'm a friendly person at heart.

 

[zakisrage]

I have said rude things to people, but I've never bullied anyone. Usually I said rude things back to the bullies who tormented me. I am quite confrontational, but I know better than to be so cruel to someone.

 

[Shizzable]

I've been subjected to unintentional over-teasing. It's genuine friendly teasing by my real friends, but my skin has been super thickened by it. Anyways, this has led me to become overly cynical in some cases. If there's someone that I don't like, they are going to know it. I've done my best not to bully but we all go to far sometimes.

 

[Esper]

I've been on either end of it. More on the being bullied, but I have done some bullying before, not that that's how I thought about it at the time. It's pretty shameful, but I can also see why I did it. Mostly it was to fit in with people (even though they were people I didn't really like - how's that for dumb?)

 

[Honest]

I've done it, yeah. A good amount too, I hate to admit. And a few different cases. One I remember is this one case where my friends and I would team up on this one kid (who was a year older than us) and say rude things like "you're gay" or "you're ****" and at time it went beyond that. We took his stuff, hid it, and in general just were really bad to him. I was around 11, I think, when that happened, and I hate myself for it. At some point around 13, I realized my flaws and started to defend the kid from my friends. In the end, I managed to get everyone off of him, and we've been friends ever since. Sure, the kid can be annoying af, but we're legit friends now. All of us are, for the most part actually.

I've grown to despise my younger self so much, cause he was everything I hate in kids nowadays, aside from spoiled. I've grown up making sure my sisters aren't like how I was, cause I don't want kids to have to go through that sort of stuff.

 

[Entermaid]

I've been on either end of it. More on the being bullied, but I have done some bullying before, not that that's how I thought about it at the time. It's pretty shameful, but I can also see why I did it. Mostly it was to fit in with people (even though they were people I didn't really like - how's that for dumb?)

I have, and MANY others I can imagine, have teased or excluded someone in order to 'fit in'. Like you said, I did this on occasion to be 'in' with people I didn't really care for mainly because of these pressures. As I get older, I like to hope I am reducing some of this inadvertent bullying, especially exclusion, which is often overlooked. I am one of those people that feels extreme guilt about a couple of seemingly minor incidences of bullying, for example, not letting someone sign my year book, claiming, " the blank pages were all full". Certainly I can justify that I didn't really know this girl well, she may have developed a crush on me since I was one of the few people who was nice to her, but...man, it's so petty to risk someone else's feelings over something as minute as a yearbook note.

And, of course, like anyone, I have also endure many forms of bullying. And, thinking how I felt, in makes me feel even more ashamed for any behaviors I had engaged in. Though, despite the apparent subjectivity, I would guess I have bullied others less than acts of bullying against me. With that said, overtime, any form of exclusion or rude remarks slung at me really doesn't get to me much at all anymore. Moreover, with more confidence and immunity to these sorts of exchanges, the frequency of them are very low as well. I have just tried to be independent and amiable to others, and being positive, successful, and confident during the post-high school years has almost completely taken the target off me.

 

[Sableye~]

Even when I was a kid, I was the sort of person who couldn't be bullied. When someone did try, they just wasted their time because I usually didn't care. X} I don't hold grudges against said people; knowing the way I was as a child, I deserved it. (Especially because, when I was particularly young, I didn't even realize that it was happening. At the time, I lacked any real friends, so I didn't know what a normal friendship was like. That just resulted in being taken advantage of, because I didn't know that I was being mistreated.)

I'm not much of a bully, though...at least not offline / on PC. The last forum I used was a different story... s:

 

[Tsutarja]

Let's say that perhaps I haven't been a bully ever in my life (as I have been a victim of bullying), but I will confess and say that I have harassed many in the past, but that was because I never realized that the other person wanted to be left alone.

 

[Crunch Punch]

I don't think I've ever bullied anyone before, and I can't say I've been on the other side either. I have got some stick from some people and I have said some things I wish I hadn't to others but that's the extent of things really. At least I don't like to believe.

 

[Crux]

I admittedly have bullied people before.... Bullies.
Seriously, they piss me off. If you want to fight find somebody that's able to give you a good fight.
If you think you're just better then everyone else... well, I should warn you that I make a game out of deflating egos.