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Things you don't say to a cop

Spinor

Spinor

<i><font color="b1373f">The Lonely Physicist</font
    • 5,176
    Posts
    18
    Years
    • Seen Feb 13, 2019
    To a female cop:

    Well if I went as fast as Speedy Gonzales, you'd have to be blistering HAAAAWT to be able to catch me.
     

    XxZer0xX

    ......................... Beep.
    • 171
    Posts
    16
    Years
    Cop: You know why I pulled you over?
    You: Depends on how long you were following me!
    Cop: Why don't we just take it from the top?
    You: Here goes: I sped. I followed too closely. I ran a stop sign. I almost hit a Chevy. I sped some more. I failed to yield at a crosswalk. I changed lanes at the intersection. I changed lanes without signaling while running a red light and speeding!
    Cop: Is that all?
    You: No... I have unpaid parking tickets!

    Credit to the funny-*** movie Liar Liar.
     

    GFA

    Mega Blastoise is my homeboy
    • 1,830
    Posts
    15
    Years
    • Seen Sep 7, 2018
    Can you just give me a ticket now? You know I'll get one later?
     
    Spinor

    Spinor

    <i><font color="b1373f">The Lonely Physicist</font
    • 5,176
    Posts
    18
    Years
    • Seen Feb 13, 2019
    You can't take me to jail. I'm your father.
     

    XxZer0xX

    ......................... Beep.
    • 171
    Posts
    16
    Years
    Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.
     

    Capt. Couch

    Wake me... When you need me...
    • 331
    Posts
    15
    Years
    - I think maybe Mr. Andrew Jackson might be able to change your mind.

    - Can I be the siren?

    - Looking for your cat? Check my tires.

    - Who said you were racing too?

    - Ok, just hold on a second. Let me hide the drugs...
     

    Gerri Shin

      
    • 3,582
    Posts
    16
    Years
    Cop: "Son, do you know why I pulled you over?"
    You: *hold up a box of fresh donuts* you could smell 'em!

    *jump to passenger seat while waiting for cop to walk up o the window*
    "He was here a second ago. Me? Drive? Oh heck no, I'm ****ed up"
     
    BeachBoy

    BeachBoy

    S P A R K of madness
    • 8,401
    Posts
    16
    Years
    Do I look fat in this dress? ): *cue emotional burst following awkward reaction*
     
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