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Things you don't say to a cop

Ruphire

Feel the icy burn
640
Posts
15
Years
    • Cop pulls me over.

    Sir you're going to have to get out of your vehicle.

    Me: You know this reminds of a story my freind told me. She said a Cop pulled over her dad and tazed him with a tazer. You know he kind of looks like you! *Shows picture* Cop: Um sir you weren't doing anything wrong I just wanted to say hi....
     

    storm393

    .....
    244
    Posts
    15
    Years
    • Seen Jan 14, 2009
    cop:im afraid im going to have to arrest you
    you: hey, how about i just buy you some doughnuts and well call it a day
     

    Ruphire

    Feel the icy burn
    640
    Posts
    15
    Years
    • Cops speeding down the road. You pull up behind him and he get's up he asks

    Cop: What there's is a crook getting away!

    You: Yeah Sorry sir but you were going faster than the speed limit so i'm afraid I have to write you a ticket. *Writes Ticket* Also remember. Don't drive drunk!
     

    pokewhore

    Working in Downtown Goldrenrod
    21
    Posts
    15
    Years
    • Cop walks up towards your car, looks into the window.

    *Cop takes off his glasses*

    Cop: Do you wreckin how fast you were goin' boy?
    You: Yeah, 35 mph...
    Cop: You sassin me boy?
    You: No sir, I was ju-just tellin the truth.
    Cop: No son, you were goin' 75 mph!
    You [thinks] : wtf...?
    You: No I wasn't...
    Cop: Yeah boy, you were. I reckon it took almost all of my aerodynamic driving skills to catch up to you.
    You: Aerodynamic whah...? Seriously, I was going 35 mph.
    Cop: No son, you were goin' 90 mph, like I said, t'was hard to catch you.
    You: You couldn't catch crabs from a $10 hooker.

    *Cop Clenches fists, glares at you*

    Cop: Are you giving me lip again boy?
    You: Hell yeah!
    Cop: That's it, now I'm going to have to write you up.
    You: Go ahead, see if I care.
    Cop: What's your name?
    You: Buster...Buster Cherry.
    Cop: Okay Buster *snickers* you're in a heap of trouble.
    You: What's going to happen to me sir?
    Cop: Probably 15 years of jailtime, for assaulting an officer.
    You: Oh really? That bad huh?
    Cop: Yep. So, any last words?
    You: Yeah, I just have a question for you officer.
    Cop: What's that?
    You: Are you afraid of heights?
    Cop: No, why do you ask?
    You: Well, your zipper is!

    *Cop Looks Down*
    *You Speed Away*
    _________________________
    I know this made completely no sense whatsoever, and I kinda went overboard, but this is what happens when I'm bored. Sorry... :/

    I also just noticed I included a sexual innuendo on accident (Buster Cherry...think about it).
     
    Her

    Her

    11,468
    Posts
    15
    Years
    • Seen May 19, 2024
    I have some weed in my glove box, a dead salesman in my trunk and this car is made out of stolen parts, can I get on The Real World now?
     
    Her

    Her

    11,468
    Posts
    15
    Years
    • Seen May 19, 2024
    I swear to God, that midget that dead and covered in juice when I got there!
     

    Ayano Hana

     
    458
    Posts
    15
    Years
    • Seen Sep 8, 2016
    Ignore the knife that's in my back pocket, it's just there in case any cops try to pull me over.
     
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