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Your Pronouns?

Her / She: because I'm a "cisgendered" girl, but it's just words to me. Sometimes on the internet people will call me "bro" or "bruh", or in even more rare instances "dude", and although I find it a bit weird I don't really see it as a problem. If someone is transgendered then I can totally understand why they may take issue with this, and I'm definitely not judging anybody. As for the neopronouns; I really don't like the idea.






 
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they/them is what i resonate with the most. she/her absolutely not and he/him, sure ok.

pronouns outside of those three are a little too silly for me, i'm sorry. i don't feel like perpetuating that egotistical need to separate so hard from other people.
 
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Cherrim said:
I'm cisgender, so she/her works for me, although I really don't care if I'm misgendered either.

I don't consider gender as... important, I guess? Probably my cis privilege shining through, but I've never been one for gender roles and in my ideal world, gender just wouldn't be a big deal so we wouldn't need anything that wasn't he/she/they because those words wouldn't necessarily imply anything about gender, just sex, so that it was easier to tell who you're referring to and so your sentences flow nicer. Ideally, gender shouldn't have to imply anything about a person's personality or what roles they fit into, so misgendering shouldn't be much of an issue. But again, that's my ideal world as a cis person so I don't really feel like my opinion is totally valid here.

I don't really see the point in neopronouns at all though. imo they sound silly and if I have to memorize a totally unique set of pronouns for every single person, I might as well just never actually use pronouns for them and just use their name every time I refer to them because it would probably be a lot easier for just about everyone, lol. u_u;; The only "neopronoun" I've ever liked is xe/xem/xir because I can understand the need for a singular gender-neutral pronoun in English... but at the same time, I'm also perfectly fine with appropriating they/their for the same purpose since that already happens in conversational English. I think a lot of the neopronouns are so over the top that if anything they make people not want to take them seriously and probably set the gender movement back quite a bit. :s
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You just said everything I came here to say, probably much better than I could ever say it <3
 
Go with she/her for me. And if you don't know my gender, go with they/them. Seriously, I don't like being referred as a guy. x:

I'm neutral with neopronouns. x:
 
I am a lady. So I mean, it's pretty obvious there.

Ahaha, though! I am glad to see most people share my opinion on those weird fakey pronouns people like to make. I tried posting this opinion on another forum once years ago... and everyone's feathers were SUPER ruffled. Even though I pretty much said this:

Noah Ridgewood said:
I flat out refuse to call someone a gender neutral pronoun other than they/their/them. I think they're absolutely ridiculous. I don't care how that makes me come across. Offline I have never come across someone who identifies with something other than male or female, so I don't run into any problems with that.
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Since that incident, I tend to get really... irritated at these pronouns. I honestly think most people who make them up aren't really identifying as a different gender, but just following a trend on the internet they saw and want to be special. I can respect people who are actually sincere about it, but I suspect that those are in the minority. The way most of them act, just shoving their special pronouns in my face, isn't really sincere or deserving of my respect. Is it really such a big deal to use a pronoun like "they"? That's the most commonly accepted one, and makes communicating a hell of a lot easier. You don't need to explain what it means to a person not acquainted with that. Language should be based on what a collective majority of people define words to be, to communicate as efficiently as possible. Not by made-up words that only have meaning to a small group. I'm fine with jargon being used within that group, but not by people trying to use it like it's actually a thing everyone knows about.

Honestly, I think in a few years, this whole "fad" will blow over. And it'll just leave the actually sincere people there. Then everything will be a lot less hot-button-y and over the top, which will make me happy. Until then, I'm just going to kind of try to stay away from all that.
 
I remember seeing neopronouns for the first time and i couldn't believe it. Convinced it's some sort of fad.

He/him anyway.
 
I used male pronouns for a lot of years, but nowadays I just.. don't care.. I can be the person I wanna be without changing my gender setting online or offline. Pronouns and the stereotypes they display for a person kinda bug me nowadays. I'd much prefer it if gender roles were obsolete, and males and females would just all blur the hell out of gender lines and be done with it. I'm a female who happens to look more stereotypically "male". Just because I have a female sex organ doesn't mean I have to look and act like a housewife. Just because someone is biologically male also shouldn't mean they have to watch pro wrestling and lift weights as a hobby. The fact that pronouns can be so extreme nowadays (neopronouns?) is bizarre to me.
 
I'm Male, so I'm referred to as he/him.

No wonder our education system is fucked.
 
As much as I support calling people by whatever pronouns they want, in regards to non-binary/gender neutral pronouns, some people I know just go by their names, which I think is much simpler; it's much easier for me to associate a name with a face rather than a set a pronouns. It's syntactically a little weird to say, but so was using the word "they" to refer to a single person at first. Ultimately it's like gender though, the terminology can get a bit crazy, but if you go about it genuinely than I will absolutely try my best to address you how you wish to be addressed

she/her/hers, though I'm not too big on correcting people unless they do it malicious intent
 
Jude Mathis said:
I used male pronouns for a lot of years, but nowadays I just.. don't care.. I can be the person I wanna be without changing my gender setting online or offline. Pronouns and the stereotypes they display for a person kinda bug me nowadays. I'd much prefer it if gender roles were obsolete, and males and females would just all blur the hell out of gender lines and be done with it. I'm a female who happens to look more stereotypically "male". Just because I have a female sex organ doesn't mean I have to look and act like a housewife. Just because someone is biologically male also shouldn't mean they have to watch pro wrestling and lift weights as a hobby. The fact that pronouns can be so extreme nowadays (neopronouns?) is bizarre to me.
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Honestly, for me, gender and sex go hand in hand in that I associate the gender with the sex by default.

I truly don't understand transgenderism in this day and age, because a lot of the people who are transgender also claim that they don't subscribe to any gender binaries. Which is all well and good, but they are subscribing to the gender they are in the process of transitioning to.

The overwhelming transgenders I have come across claim also that they do not subscribe to gender binaries. To me, this doesn't make the least of sense. You are subscribing to the gender binary of a female if you feel the need to transition.

There is nothing wrong with effeminate male genders and there is nothing wrong with masculine female genders. People are people. But at the end of the day, I will still assign the gender to people in my mind that matches their sex. Just because you feel like you associate yourself more with one gender than the other based on cultural and society influence doesn't mean, to me, that you are not cis-gender.

Still, if someone does associate with the other, I respect them as an individual to address them as what they would like to be addressed as. Just not any of the made up nonsense that the Tumblr folk have created to make them feel like unique individuals when they already are.
 
Noah Ridgewood said:
Honestly, for me, gender and sex go hand in hand in that I associate the gender with the sex by default.

I truly don't understand transgenderism in this day and age, because a lot of the people who are transgender also claim that they don't subscribe to any gender binaries. Which is all well and good, but they are subscribing to the gender they are in the process of transitioning to.

The overwhelming transgenders I have come across claim also that they do not subscribe to gender binaries. To me, this doesn't make the least of sense. You are subscribing to the gender binary of a female if you feel the need to transition.

There is nothing wrong with effeminate male genders and there is nothing wrong with masculine female genders. People are people. But at the end of the day, I will still assign the gender to people in my mind that matches their sex. Just because you feel like you associate yourself more with one gender than the other based on cultural and society influence doesn't mean, to me, that you are not cis-gender.

Still, if someone does associate with the other, I respect them as an individual to address them as what they would like to be addressed as. Just not any of the made up nonsense that the Tumblr folk have created to make them feel like unique individuals when they already are.
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Transgender is really just a wide umbrella term, not everyone who identifies as such goes through a transition, let alone a transition to a binary gender. I guess the major thing is, for those who are transgender, sex and gender do not necessarily go hand in hand, a prime example being those who are nonbinary, as sex is, for the most part, binary
 
flight said:
It really does disappoint me because those people who are actually genuine about their gender identity are at the risk of being taken significantly less seriously because of those who make up nounself pronouns just for being part of a fad.
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Quoting this because it's important and I don't think it can be said enough.
 
She / Her. I am cisgendered, but frequently misgendered online because I play online games a lot so other people can't tell my gender easily. In those situations I accept he / him and won't bother to correct the other person because I don't see it as largely important in that particular situation. In real life or if a friend or whatever called me by the wrong pronoun unless someone did it in a friendly joking fashion I'd be kind of offended or confused (Ie. I have some masculine hobbies I guess so if someone said "oh you're such a boy" and then went on to call me male pronouns or something that would be one situation where I wouldn't be so offended) So in that sense pronouns are a big deal. If someone came to me as being transgender and asked me to use their preferred pronoun of their opposite biological sex all of a sudden - as in I had no prior knowledge of it, I would happily accommodate them with no questions asked.

With neopronouns however - I've never actually been in a situation where anyone has asked me to call them any neopronouns. While I've heard of it being a thing, in my reading I've never even encountered anyone who wants to use them online on like... a tumblr blog or something. I'm sure they're around. If I ever was in contact with a person who wanted to use those pronouns and they were serious I'd probably do as they requested though. I'm like to say I'm a good judge of character so I wouldn't really befriend anyone who wanted to use pronouns or transgenderism as a fad so what this hypothetical person would ask of me would be something I considered valid and important. I won't lie though - it would be a little bit out of my own comfort zone to use neopronouns admittedly because they're not actually classified as English words. I'd even prefer being asked to call someone "they" :T but it's not really my place to look at it from that point of view so I would just dismiss those thoughts in the end for the greater good.

If someone had a neopronoun and wanted it to be taken seriously I'm sure it must be difficult overall because of people who are less open minded about the whole thing though. :( expression of self identity can be a cruel concept sometimes.
 
Flushed said:
Transgender is really just a wide umbrella term, not everyone who identifies as such goes through a transition, let alone a transition to a binary gender. I guess the major thing is, for those who are transgender, sex and gender do not necessarily go hand in hand, a prime example being those who are nonbinary, as sex is, for the most part, binary
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My point was is that gender is a social construct of behaviors and characteristics based on how society deems them. They're associated with femininity or masculinity. Often times, the people who identify with a gender that isn't their sex also tend to say they don't agree with gender binaries or labeling people, but that's exactly what they're doing by identifying as the other gender. At least that's what the vast majority of them seem to do. I just hold the belief that you can be a feminine male or a masculine female and not have to have any shame in that.

I'm not really arguing that that isn't something that they should be doing, in the case of transgenderism (which I know is a completely different thing than transsexuals; which is something I totally understand). What they are doing doesn't affect me, and if that's what they need to do to find solace in life, then so be it. I'm just saying, when you're on the internet and see so many people saying things against labels and making their identity so it's easily understood by others people "why can't people just be people?" then it creates confusion when others, like myself, try to understand those types of behavior.

Just group me in the "Why is gender even a thing?" category of people. All it is is rules and guides for how a traditional man and woman should behave and think. And creates the problem of those who don't meet those guidelines to be ostracized.
 
I'm cisgender and go by feminine pronouns.

I rather like them/they pronouns, and try to use those when I don't know someone's gender. I really don't care if people want to use neopronouns; I try to use whatever pronouns I'm asked to use because it has zero effect on my life, and if I can literally do a tiny thing that makes someone happy and feel affirmed then I am going to be a decent human being and do the thing. I really don't understand people being annoyed by that, except for the concern that it could result in trans or nonbinary people being taken less seriously.


Zeffy said:
i don't get all the kerfuffle with pronouns, but i prefer mine to be he/him/his. personally i think the concept of gender is bothersome and unneeded, but some people are way too dramatic over them
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The thing to keep in mind is that just because gender isn't important to you doesn't mean that's the case for everyone. I personally find religion unimportant and actually rather silly, but I recognize how important it is to a lot of people and try to be respectful of that. Unfortunately, we don't currently live in a society that can (or wants to) completely do away with religion or gender.

Noah Ridgewood said:
Honestly, for me, gender and sex go hand in hand in that I associate the gender with the sex by default.
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Hm, so what do you think of people born with both male and female genitals, or males who lost their genitals due to an accident? Is a boy who lost his penis due to a botched circumcision no longer male? That kind of essentialism raises all kinds of questions, and simplifies a complex issue that researchers have been grappling with for a long time.

~Psychic
 
A lot of posts in this thread bother me a bit. I think if certain pronouns make someone feel best, they should be respected. I'd want to help people feel comfortable, after all.
There's also the issue that some people live in transphobic homes, even if they're binary.
 
Pronouns are a reference to your gender, which is a scale between masculine and feminine, determined by both biological and psychological aspects. I'm a fairly masculine guy and proud of it, but I can respect that not everyone is into the same black-and-white thinking; I used to do the whole playing around with femininity thing when I was younger, which is how I eventually realised it contradicts my own values. That's fine, there's nothing wrong with experimenting.

Things become annoying when, in an attempt to avoid boxing themselves into masculine or feminine extremes, gender politicians ironically box themselves into categories of their own creation, and then claim the right to be offended when others won't be complicit. This goes for any form of gender fluidity really: if you're born a male, look like a male, but identify as a female, it's ridiculous expecting everybody you know to see you in the same light, lest they be persecuting you. "Misgendering" is something only victims complain about.

Neopronouns take it further by adding another fact about yourself that nobody should be reasonably expected to remember. If someone asked you to refer to them as "sir" or "your highness" or something equally pretentious, would you do it? This is exactly the same thing, and there is no justification for it beyond a compulsive need to feel special and validated. That's also where the ridiculous idea of 'privilege' comes from, and it pisses me off to see people who actually think they are somehow ignorant and need to feel shame for being cisgender/heterosexual/caucasian/male/etc.

It's tall poppy syndrome, so please ignore the guilt tripping and be happy with yourself, whatever you are.
 
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