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Broken relationships

Sirfetch’d

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    Lets talk a little bit about relationships gone wrong. You love a person, things are going seemingly well, you both connect on many levels, but the relationship takes a bad turn and things end. I have personally had this happen once in my life many years ago and was curious about others who have had this happen. Ever fixed it?
     

    Shiny Bunnelby

    Tolerated, but never celebrated.
    362
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    9
    Years
    • I've had a relationship that started so, so peachy.

    It got so bad it was far beyond repair. He cheated on me and treated me like crap after we were together for about a year. Because I loved him (foolishly), I tried to fix everything. I starved myself, abandoned friends, and did everything for this guy. Wasn't good enough.

    He eventually left me for the girl he cheated with (he cheated on her, too) and I had to pick myself up. I have never been a push-over for anyone ever since. So, I guess you can say things eventually worked in favor for me. I have way more self respect and share my life with a wonderful man now. Last I checked, this ex let himself go, still with the same girl (surprisingly), and pretty much all of his friends hate him. I am not one to believe in karma, but that is one hell of a coincidence.
     
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    Shining Raichu

    Shining Raichu

    Expect me like you expect Jesus.
    8,959
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    • Only really friendships that have gone bad. I haven't been "IN A RELATIONSHIP" as such, but I always manage to fix my sour friendships. Who could resist my charm, after all?
     
    Sonata

    Sonata

    Don't let me disappear
    13,642
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    • I don't actually know what happened. We were all happy fine and dandy one day and then the next day she was off doing all kinds of things and then later that day it was over, I still can't figure out what went so wrong but we were both really happy together or so I thought, I never tried anything and didn't ever really do anything that should have been wrong. We just watched shows, played games, ate food, and had a good time and now every minute of it haunts me.
     

    Diggerez

    58
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    10
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    • Seen Dec 5, 2014
    O'aka XXIII said:
    I don't actually know what happened. We were all happy fine and dandy one day and then the next day she was off doing all kinds of things and then later that day it was over, I still can't figure out what went so wrong but we were both really happy together or so I thought, I never tried anything and didn't ever really do anything that should have been wrong. We just watched shows, played games, ate food, and had a good time and now every minute of it haunts me.
    Click to expand...

    I've been through something that ended the same way, you can never really predict what another person is thinking. It's best to be with someone that tells you everything.

    To answer the OP's question, no I haven't fixed it, but i really wouldn't like to either. Some memories aren't meant to leave traces (FMA quote)
     
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    Bellsprout

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    • Seen Jan 1, 2023
    Dats lyfe

    but really I can't imagine too many people that haven't had this happen to them unless they haven't dated yet. To me it's just apart of life and apart of finding out who/what is right for you. I never tried fixing any of them when it was at the end I guess because I myself was done. I guess it sucks when it's happening, but life moves on and eventually you forget about it. Not to be cliche, but going through this stuff really does shape you into a better person I think. Though not everyone may take what they should from what has happened to them.
     
    Sheep

    Sheep

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  • Rainbow Badge
    • I can understand that, O'aka XXIII. My relationship with my ex went pretty well originally - or so I thought - until I told him I wasn't able to come visit him for Christmas. Mind you we were both 17 at the time and I lived in NYC whereas he was in Canada so the parents didn't feel comfortable sending me off over there all alone. When I told him I wasn't able to go he lost all interest in talking and went on ignoring me for hours at a time before he finally claimed he didn't "feel the fire in this relationship anymore" and left. Proceeded to tell me he wasn't able to have internet and couldn't talk but of course in a few years I found out that was a lie and he was just trying to get away.

    Sometimes I assume I hate him but then think that he probably did have a hard time deciding on leaving me. It took him months so more than likely the decision wasn't easy, and I was probably immature enough to deserve it anyway. besides my current bf is much better -eyesparkle-
     
    Kotone

    Kotone

    someone needed a doctor?
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    • i've had a lot of rough relationships. my one that lasted over a year, things were amazing at the beginning, then he just became mean. he would act out and say the worst things possible about me then always ask for forgiveness. i always forgave him, but then broke down one day when i called him and another girl answered.
     

    Flygonite

    47
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    • Seen Oct 3, 2014
    Sheep said:
    I can understand that, O'aka XXIII. My relationship with my ex went pretty well originally - or so I thought - until I told him I wasn't able to come visit him for Christmas. Mind you we were both 17 at the time and I lived in NYC whereas he was in Canada so the parents didn't feel comfortable sending me off over there all alone. When I told him I wasn't able to go he lost all interest in talking and went on ignoring me for hours at a time before he finally claimed he didn't "feel the fire in this relationship anymore" and left. Proceeded to tell me he wasn't able to have internet and couldn't talk but of course in a few years I found out that was a lie and he was just trying to get away.

    Sometimes I assume I hate him but then think that he probably did have a hard time deciding on leaving me. It took him months so more than likely the decision wasn't easy, and I was probably immature enough to deserve it anyway. besides my current bf is much better -eyesparkle-
    Click to expand...

    Sheepy, Internet relationships are hard to manage, and the spark can disappear quickly without the face-to-face contact. Besides a 17 year old boy may have only been interested, in one thing.

    Anyways, I've left and been left by a lot of girls, but the only one that was really bad was when I was being cheated on. If you cheat and no one finds out, the relationship could be fine (They will find out and you're a douche if you cheat). However, the second they find out, you might as well end it. All trust is gone and the relationship will slowly crumble. It's a sad, but true statement.
     
    Morgnarok

    Morgnarok

    PokéCommunity Supporter - Platinum Tier
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    • This subject hits home for me right now. I am currently in a relationship that had a issue. We have currently been together for 11 months. I'm 20 and shes 22. We have a child on the way as well. Everything was great for the first few months. We moved in together. As the months passed though we seemed to grow distant. I always was trying to figure out what was wrong but could never figure out for months. Recently though I told her I wanted to sit down and talk. I explained how I felt and she told me exactly what was wrong. She told me that she has became distant because I am not the same person I was when we first met. I some how as the quote is "You don't realize what you have until you lose it". I had became even though I didn't notice it very verbally abusive towards her. I don't mean in the sense of constantly cursing her out or yelling but I would say things without knowing or realizing what I said. For instance if she was crying instead of me comforting her I would tell her to grow up or stop crying. Just small things in my eyes I never thought would effect a female so much because I was always brought up as a man to never cry and always be tough.

    To make this a bit shorter we are still together and I am trying now a days to watch what I say and be more caring than trying to use tough love.
     
    El Héroe Oscuro

    El Héroe Oscuro

    IG: elheroeoscuro
    7,239
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    • ★Symbiosis★ said:
    This subject hits home for me right now. I am currently in a relationship that had a issue. We have currently been together for 11 months. I'm 20 and shes 22. We have a child on the way as well. Everything was great for the first few months. We moved in together. As the months passed though we seemed to grow distant. I always was trying to figure out what was wrong but could never figure out for months. Recently though I told her I wanted to sit down and talk. I explained how I felt and she told me exactly what was wrong. She told me that she has became distant because I am not the same person I was when we first met. I some how as the quote is "You don't realize what you have until you lose it". I had became even though I didn't notice it very verbally abusive towards her. I don't mean in the sense of constantly cursing her out or yelling but I would say things without knowing or realizing what I said. For instance if she was crying instead of me comforting her I would tell her to grow up or stop crying. Just small things in my eyes I never thought would effect a female so much because I was always brought up as a man to never cry and always be tough.

    To make this a bit shorter we are still together and I am trying now a days to watch what I say and be more caring than trying to use tough love.
    Click to expand...

    You've apologized to her, right?
     

    TRIFORCE89

    Guide of Darkness
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    • ★Symbiosis★ said:
    For instance if she was crying instead of me comforting her I would tell her to grow up or stop crying. Just small things in my eyes I never thought would effect a female so much because I was always brought up as a man to never cry and always be tough.
    Click to expand...

    :\

    I can say as a dude that that would bother me too. Not really a male/female thing, more of a being considerate and caring thing
     
    Sheep

    Sheep

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    • Flygonite said:
    Sheepy, Internet relationships are hard to manage, and the spark can disappear quickly without the face-to-face contact. Besides a 17 year old boy may have only been interested, in one thing.

    Anyways, I've left and been left by a lot of girls, but the only one that was really bad was when I was being cheated on. If you cheat and no one finds out, the relationship could be fine (They will find out and you're a douche if you cheat). However, the second they find out, you might as well end it. All trust is gone and the relationship will slowly crumble. It's a sad, but true statement.
    Click to expand...

    They definitely are! But I was really immature at the time and assumed it would have a happy ending. Nothing went through my head except "this will be my first and last relationship" so when he finally told me he wasn't interested in me anymore I was crushed.

    We did meet in real life one summer, though, and I personally felt we didn't click but couldn't bring myself to stop liking him... guess in the end it was a good thing he left me. My 17 year old self was too paranoid for her own good. Later on I realized it was more of his online personality that I loved above how he was irl (which, of course, won't work out in the long run).

    Really sorry about you getting cheated on. :( That's always just terrible. I had similar experiences with my ex; he'd flirt with girls and act like it was totally fine to do when I brought it up. Don't think I'll ever give a cheater another chance.
     

    Flygonite

    47
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    • Seen Oct 3, 2014
    Sheep said:
    They definitely are! But I was really immature at the time and assumed it would have a happy ending. Nothing went through my head except "this will be my first and last relationship" so when he finally told me he wasn't interested in me anymore I was crushed.

    We did meet in real life one summer, though, and I personally felt we didn't click but couldn't bring myself to stop liking him... guess in the end it was a good thing he left me. My 17 year old self was too paranoid for her own good. Later on I realized it was more of his online personality that I loved above how he was irl (which, of course, won't work out in the long run).

    Really sorry about you getting cheated on. :( That's always just terrible. I had similar experiences with my ex; he'd flirt with girls and act like it was totally fine to do when I brought it up. Don't think I'll ever give a cheater another chance.
    Click to expand...

    OH GOD INTERNET PERSONALITIES ARE SO DIFFERENT. So how about I met this girl through Facebook and made her like beyond interested in me! Took her on a date, and I was so scared that I couldn't say like ONE WORD. It was awful. I'm pretty chatty in person too. It just made no sense. She was way too out of my league, and I probably just choked under the pressure.
     
    Ephemeral Euphoria

    Ephemeral Euphoria

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    I fixed it once only for it to fall apart later and leave me in a state where I don't want to open my heart to anybody anymore.
     
    Morgnarok

    Morgnarok

    PokéCommunity Supporter - Platinum Tier
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    • elheroeoscuro said:
    You've apologized to her, right?
    Click to expand...

    Yes, I though I made that clear since we are still together and I said I work on a daily basis to watch what I say.

    TRIFORCE89 said:
    :\

    I can say as a dude that that would bother me too. Not really a male/female thing, more of a being considerate and caring thing
    Click to expand...

    See growing up I was raised by a old school type of father. I wasn't allowed to cry, I wasn't allowed to even back down from a fight and if I got into a fight and loss when I came home my dad would kick my a$$. I had some of the worst punishments. I wasn't grounded in the sense of stuff tooken away like normal kids. I was put through boot camp and other activities to make me stronger and tougher. So I never really knew how to care for someone or be nice. I was taught different and it stuck to me for a long time.
     
    starseed galaxy auticorn

    starseed galaxy auticorn

    [font=Finger Paint][COLOR=#DCA6F3][i]PC's Resident
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    • This happened with a recent ex of mine. Things were going well until he suddenly decided to drop off the face of the earth and not return to Facebook. It took an ex-friend of mine to tell me that my ex no longer loved nor cared for me. I found it rather harsh because doesn't a person normally dump or break up with you by telling you directly? It pissed me off so much.
     

    Diggerez

    58
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    • Seen Dec 5, 2014
    Flygonite said:
    Sheepy, Internet relationships are hard to manage, and the spark can disappear quickly without the face-to-face contact. Besides a 17 year old boy may have only been interested, in one thing.

    Anyways, I've left and been left by a lot of girls, but the only one that was really bad was when I was being cheated on. If you cheat and no one finds out, the relationship could be fine (They will find out and you're a douche if you cheat). However, the second they find out, you might as well end it. All trust is gone and the relationship will slowly crumble. It's a sad, but true statement.
    Click to expand...

    I think people that can't handle a long term thing end up cheating to get that starting spark with being with another person. There really shouldn't be a question whether they deserve another chance or not, they obviously aren't the right person to be with.
     

    Radioactive

    I'm a really good boy
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    • Seen Sep 22, 2014
    *****es, the lot of them. They're crazy. Too bad I'm only romantic for them, huh? My mother says they're more of a hassle than they're worth too, lol. Claims she'll never be able to have a lesbian romance because she's sexually straight and at some point would end up acting on that.

    Sometimes I find it hard to function without a light of hope. You know, something other than my own benefit to look forward to and work towards? At some point or another, I'll fall though. I'll become a spectator like everyone else who gave up on humans. At present I fear that.
     
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